The Cyborgs are attacking in Helldivers 2. Do you understand what a threat to freedom they are? They'll turn us into meat puppets in their endless pursuit for power. They must be stopped and - defection? What? Now. No way. Not if you want to keep that goldfish, anyway.
This is the reaction at least one player apparently got when they contacted Helldivers 2's dedicated support staff about jumping sides to join the Automaton empire. As one person found out, the response is swift, cynical, and wholly justified in the defense of Super Earth.
"Your dissidence against Super Earth has been noted, and your citizenship has been revoked," says the reply. "Additionally your goldfish has been executed, and all C-01 permits are automatically denied."
In a final jab, the mail finishes: "Cyberstan must fall." Look, I'm sympathetic to anyone's goldfish, I'm sure Flipper was a wonderful companion, but their fate was decided when this person thought defection would be a worthwhile venture.
"They can't get away with this," the Redditor adds. They can and they have. This is not a time to play around, there are cyborgs to be destroyed. Get involved or get out of the way, please.
In all seriousness, this is an excellent extension of the universe Arrowhead's created. The studio's got a strong hand on comedic propaganda and metatextual storytelling. This particular example reminds of the recurring joke of arresting people for not having a goldfish license in 2000 AD's Judge Dredd.
Rules are rules. You know them, I know them, and we need to keep Super Earth safe before they change, I'm afraid.
