Gemma O'Connell is a national bodybuilding champion. She loves it . But she encourages a lot of people not to try it.
"You have to be open to being selfish," she said. "You've got to really be open to saying no to things and you have to be open to sacrificing events, to sacrificing food."
Gemma's life is characterised by routine.
First, there is the 90 minutes of cardio , five days a week in the lead up to competitions. That's on top about half an hour of posing practice, meal prep, and online meetings with her coach.
Gemma and fellow Newcastle competitor Aimee Shearer both placed in their classes at this year's International Fitness and Bodybuilding Federation (IFBB) state and national competitions. Aimee has just flown over to the United States to compete internationally.
They are trained by IFBB professional bodybuilder Shanae DiCicco in Sydney. Having a coach who understands demands, Gemma said, is crucial.
"It's all eyes set on what's next. I'm waiting for feedback [from judges at nationals] to see what improvements need to happen between now and my next show," Gemma said. She will likely take a break from competing until this time next year.
"You've got to be really strong-willed and really, really focussed in terms of putting your goals first," she said.
Gemma doesn't usually eat for joy. She eats for fuel. In the 16 weeks before competition season, food intake is lowered and cardio training is upped.
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"I have protein, oats in the morning and lots of veggies through the day, trying to get in my micronutrients. That might be pumpkin, chicken, rice, broccoli. I know that is sounds very standard bodybuilder diet. Eggs, cereal - things you can easily change quantities of."
Gemma said she "couldn't even estimate" how much she spends on food each week. It is governed by competition schedules.
"The last four to five weeks are where it gets hard," she said. "Once your calories start dropping and you start to get fatigued, their is a lot of room for mental health to [become bad]. Your sleep gets pretty crappy."
Gemma usually prepares her food several days in advance to stay organise, but in the weeks just before this year's competition, she prepped daily.
"When food intake was low, it was a joy to have fresh food," she said.
Despite the joys she finds in competing, Gemma is vocal about the mental health dangers of a hobby where "your body is being judged".
"[The lifestyle] is not something I or Aimee endorse as being sustainable," she said of a sport that she only encourages people with a love for training and no prior history of eating disorders to consider.
"It's exciting to get lean and look good for a show, but it's certainly not something you can do long-term.
"The lifestyle should not be glorified like it is on social media in a lot of cases. That's something I'm super passionate about," Gemma said.
"You get up on stage and - I joke about it - but you're being moved around like cattle in a cattle yard [according] to who's got the best physique.
"If you don't have thick skin in being able to take that the person next to you is being judged at a higher calibre, then this sport isn't for you," she said. "It can be an incredibly journey but you've got to be in the right headspace."
If this story has raised difficult topics, contact Lifeline on 13 11 14 or online via lifeline.org.au.
