😃 During a difficult period a few years ago, a nurse told me to “be kind” to myself. I had to really think about what this meant; I realised it meant doing whatever small thing might feel nice – lying in bed if I wanted to, not doing much if I felt like it, and definitely taking a break from work. I started to really tune in to that, which meant I could identify tiny feelings of “relief” – for example, the feeling of putting my cheek on a pillow – and from there I was able to build myself back up again.
Faith Liversedge, 47, Edinburgh
😃 My friend told me to focus on the thing that you’re doing, rather than the next task. Basically, get up and shower but don’t start thinking ahead to what will happen later at work, just the next half an hour. It sounds obvious but, ultimately, it is about being present and mindful.
Jo, 39, Stockport
🙁 I was unhelpfully told during a depressive episode to “eat the rainbow”. At this point I could barely be bothered to make toast, let alone prepare a colourful meal. However, I did smile at, and subsequently demolish, the packet of Skittles left in my post box by a colleague.
Helen, Bristol
😃 My super health visitor picked up on my worsening postnatal depression. She recommended that I seek therapy for the trauma I had experienced as a child, and also that I be open to trying antidepressants as “a kindness to yourself”, to help me cope with day-to-day life, since therapy is not an instant fix. I am so grateful for her advice. I had no idea how heavy the weight I had been carrying around my whole life was until I went through therapy. Same with antidepressants: I just didn’t think they were an option. It is important that people know they can be used as a temporary measure to help you get through a tough time.
Anonymous
🙁 Ten years ago I experienced a life-changing period of depression, during which I needed inpatient care for a good six months. The worst advice I received was “have a bath”. I literally wanted to die – and hated baths. It was utterly ridiculous. The most useful advice came from my sister: “When you’re going through hell, keep going.”
Jude, 48, Devon
🙁 In August 2010 I had severe depression caused by work, which led to a breakdown. The worst advice I was given – “Throw yourself into work to take your mind off it” – was from my employer. The next worst thing was the online CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) course prescribed by my doctor. I had to go to a local health centre and sit in a cubicle, alone in front of a PC, answering multiple-choice questions about how I was feeling and how I would react to different scenarios. The best thing I did was to get a puppy. That ball of energy and love got me outside again and interested in life. Without that focus I’m fairly sure I would not be here today.
Anonymous
😃 I was recommended exercise, especially running, and told by a doctor that it was imperative because antidepressants would cause me to put on weight. Not only did I find that concern to not be the most pressing thing at the time, it also made me anxious about not doing exercise. Eventually I became much more active as a result of joining a tag rugby team. The community spirit lifted me up much more and has been important to me feeling better.
João Sousa, 33, Glasgow
🙁 When I was suffering from severe postnatal depression in the 1980s, I was told by my GP to “pull yourself together, you’re not the only woman to have had a baby”. Of course this didn’t help at all and only made me feel much worse. It really upset me when my daughter received the same “advice” from her GP in 2010.
Anonymous
😃 For me, most advice from mental health professionals has been pretty unhelpful. Lots of variations on journalling, mindful activities and other things that would probably be more effective for less serious cases. Weirdly, the most helpful thing was giving up gluten, which my sister suggested. It has had more impact on my mood than more than five different antidepressants I’ve been prescribed, although I still take medication.
Rachel Vallely, 24, Sheffield
😃 The best advice I received was from a therapist who told me you need to maintain your Shed (Sleep, Hydration, Exercise and Diet) to keep depression at bay, as well as minimise caffeine and alcohol. It made me realise the times I’d had my depression under control were when I’d been exercising regularly, which involved staying hydrated and maintaining a healthier diet, which led to a better night’s sleep.
Dave Torsney, 39, Armadale
🙁 The main problem I faced was that most of the advice I was given required me to expend energy. Someone with severe depression has no energy to spend – or at least, this is his/her belief. I always felt ridiculed by these suggestions: force yourself out of bed, go for a walk, exercise. Even going to the doctor or to the pharmacy for antidepressants often felt like climbing Everest.
Anonymous
😃 CBT changed my life. It was like climbing out of a deep, dark hole. It had a terrible impact on my relationship with my mum, as it became clear where my issues started, but it liberated me from a life of low self-esteem and the need to say yes. Saying no comes easy now; sometimes a little too easy.
Mark, 56, Cranleigh
🙁 The worst advice I ever received was from a Harley Street doctor who started randomly listing good things in life, Sound of Music-style, one of which was baked potatoes. I didn’t see him again. A few years later, when I was being ricocheted between services, an NHS mental health worker told me: “You’ll grow out of it by the time you retire.” I was in my late 20s at the time.
Natalie, 41, Somerset
😃 While trying to recover from my illness I was spending a lot of time at my local beach. I found being outside and close to the water very calming. One day I was chatting to the owner of a local surf school and my condition came up. “Go surf,” he said, “it will put you right.” Best advice I have had. I spent about 12 months trying to teach myself to surf, finally becoming better at it. It has given me focus, mindfulness and therapy all in one.
Steve, 60, Devon
🙁 “Just be happy.” Three unhelpful words. An edict that succeeds only in volumising feelings of inadequacy, alienation and failure. If three words really are your limit, I’d probably go for “Let’s get help”, “Thanks for sharing”, “I’m so sorry”, “It’ll get better”, “You’re not alone”, “I’m always here”. I would have even taken “Cup of tea?” over the unconsciously brutal “Just be happy”.
Elizabeth O’Mahoney, Cornwall
😃 I’ve had depression for 20 years. During treatment with the NHS, I was taught to have a safe place in my mind, to remember a time when I felt happy and was alone. For me, it is an orange orchard in California.
This has really had a long‑term benefit for me. When I get overwhelmed, I find somewhere to sit, close my eyes and think about my safe place. I remember what the sky was like, the birds, the space around me, and why I was happy.
Paul Turner, 52, Toulouse, France
😃 Go. For. A. Run. It works. It is very hard to get dressed and go out there. But once I start running, my brain switches off, which is so good. When I run I am just focused on the running. Not on the problems, the kids, the family. Just me and my breathing and the beauty surrounding me. The endorphins kick in after, and for a few hours I have a mental break.
Cecile Jacques, 47, Surrey
😃 I was listening to a podcast that mentioned Wim Hof and his breathing exercises. I found his cold-water exposure and breath-retention exercises very helpful. They gave me the “get up and go” to do things instead of just moping around the house. I start every day with a cold shower now.
Bill Byrne, 48, Ely
😃 I had depression in my late teens and my GP signed me off work for four weeks. He requested an account of all the museums in our local city and I was so scared he’d quiz me that I visited them all. I am in my 60s now and I can still remember those visits: they removed me from the things that crowded my mind so destructively.
Anonymous
