The prosecution: Lucy
My tea towels mean a lot to me, but Brent ruins them by clearing up spilt tea and baked beans
Before my boyfriend Brent moved in with me two years ago, I had a nice collection of fresh white tea towels. Many were given to me as gifts. But since Brent moved in, most of them have been ruined.
Whenever he spills tea or coffee or baked beans, he will wipe up the mess with a tea towel. To me, a tea towel should only be used for drying up clean dishes. Only using them for that meant that they stayed the same colour for years. Until Brent moved in, that is.
Before that, I’d go to Brent’s flat and see the state of his tea towels there. I was aware of his habit and pointed out that he shouldn’t be using them to wipe up food. I think I suggested not doing that with mine when he moved in, but obviously that didn’t happen.
Brent does the cooking in our relationship, and I do most of the cleaning up afterwards. He’s very enthusiastic and creative in the kitchen and I really appreciate that, but I just think: leave my tea towels alone. Brent says he has a system in which he has two tea towels on the go when he’s in the kitchen. He says he sets aside one for cleaning and the other for drying, but from what I can see there is no system. He just uses all the tea towels for wiping up spills.
I like using kitchen roll to wipe surfaces. Brent has pointed out that it’s very wasteful and that I should use J cloths for wiping up. I actually agree and have asked him to do the same, but he never does. Brent also doesn’t like washing things on a high heat, and I think that’s another reason the stains in my tea towels don’t come out.
The tea towels are quite personal to me. Some of them were souvenirs from friends abroad. My mum also got me a few to match my new colour scheme when I got the kitchen redone.
One of my favourites, which had a joke about grammar on it and used to be white, is now grey all over, plus a few food stains. Brent says I’m too sentimental about them. I just believe they should only be used to dry wet items – that’s it.
The defence: Brent
I do most of the cooking so there’s bound to be mess. And we can just throw them in the wash
There is one tea towel that Lucy loves – the one with a grammar joke on it – and I’ve stained it forever, so perhaps that is what she is most annoyed about. But when I moved in, I wasn’t aware that tea towels can be objects to be sentimental about.
In my defence, I’m an enthusiastic cook and do almost all the cooking in our flat, so really I think it’s fair enough if the cost is a bit of mess. I keep two tea towels close to me, one for drying stuff up, which stays clean, and the other for wiping surfaces in a hurry. When one gets too dirty, you chuck it in the wash and get out a clean one. That’s the system that’s worked for me and I like it.
My dad was an army chef and taught me to “clean as you go”, and I always do. But I often grab a tea towel to wipe up as I’m usually in a rush. Lucy has asked me not to use her tea towels for this, and I’ll say, “yeah, of course, no problem.” But in the heat of the moment I grab what’s nearest.
Maybe this habit is a reflection of my life in general. I’m a photographer and my life is very chaotic and last-minute. Lucy is tidy but she always uses kitchen roll to wipe up, which I think is a bit wasteful. Tea towels can be washed and reused so it makes sense to use them to wipe up.
Lucy also says I don’t wash the tea towels on a high enough setting, but I don’t think that’s true. I wash everything at about 40C. It’s the quality of soap that determines whether things come out clean. Some tea towels, unfortunately, are just stained forever now.
Tea towels are a functional item which are there to be used, not hung on the wall for decoration. Lucy has suggested keeping some tea towels in a separate area, to use for drying only. I think that idea has potential, but when I’m cooking I would need to put in a lot of effort to keep them in a different part of the kitchen and not forget and reach for the wrong ones. Our kitchen isn’t massive, so logistically I might get them muddled up, but we’ll see.
The jury of Guardian readers
Should Brent stop misusing Lucy’s tea towels?
Tea towels are a functional item as well as an environment-friendly alternative to kitchen roll. They’re fair game for getting stained and worn. If there is a requirement to keep them clean, they shouldn’t really be out for use.
George, 41
Tea towels are for drying up clean items and J cloths for wiping up spillages. Having said that, keeping tea towels in the kitchen is asking for them to be used, so although Brent is wrong, Lucy can’t really complain. If it is that important that special ones are kept pristine, she should keep them somewhere else.
Stephen, 55
Brent is guilty, by a hair. People collect different things, and for Lucy it’s tea towels. Brent should be more considerate. However, the issue can be solved by Lucy putting her treasured tea towels in a drawer and getting some cheap ones for everyday kitchen use.
Bahram, 55
Baked beans! I’m afraid I’m with Lucy on this. Tea towels aren’t designed to mop up spills. Lucy has made her position clear and is being perfectly reasonable. They should invest in some decent (machine washable) dish cloths to curb the kitchen roll use (I’m with Brent on that) and keep the tea towels for drying clean things.
Rosie, 34
Kitchen roll is wasteful and tea towels are for cleaning up; Lucy should put the ones she feels sentimental about away – or frame them – and get some she doesn’t care about.
Emily, 37
Now you be the judge
In our online poll below, tell us: should Brent stop using Lucy’s tea towels?
The poll closes on Thursday 26 January at 10am GMT
Last week’s result
We asked whether Ama should use the dishwasher less, as it annoys her father, Michael.
25% of you said yes – Ama is guilty
75% of you said no – Ama is not guilty.
