The prosecution: Jarcinda
The discs clutter up the house – and I can’t recall the last time he made use of his collection
I’ve been with my boyfriend Jerryl for almost two years, and 15 months ago he moved into my place. I’ve discovered that he loves to keep outdated clutter. We’ve got hundreds of DVDs and CDs around the house. He doesn’t like to chuck stuff out, but I think he should get with the times and use streaming services.
He prefers physical copies of things and says it feels special to have a DVD with a bonus feature you can’t find online. Jerryl has this romantic idea that he’s always browsing through his DVDs, then chooses what to watch, but that’s nonsense. In reality, I can’t recall the last time he made use of his vast collection. His DVDs also take up a lot of space: a whole row on the TV stand, which leave my plants squashed, and his CDs take up bookcase space, so I’ve had to move my books.
I’m saving to buy a house, which will be smaller than the one we live in now. There’s no way I’m moving 200 DVDs and loads of CDs in there.
My loft is also full of Jerryl’s rubbish, like old suitcases and a stack of NME magazines from the 1990s. He also keeps clothes from the noughties in our spare bedroom – outdated things like cable-knit jumpers and striped brown scarves. About a year ago Jerryl found a chandelier in the street and wanted to put it up in our house, but it’s been sitting in the spare room ever since.
The house is quite big, and I’m used to having lots of space. Perhaps I still think of it as my place. Jerryl put an old poster of John F Kennedy up in the spare room the other day without asking me and I didn’t like that.
We are good at agreeing on practical things, like decorating and kitchenware, but I do think Jerryl is like an old lady with all his bric-a-brac. He has all this superfluous stuff and just looking at it makes me feel stressed. When we eventually have a clear-out, it will be me who has to drive it to the tip, as Jerryl can’t drive. He should start sorting stuff out now, so in the future it’s easier for us.
The defence: Jerryl
My CDs date back to when I was a teenager and carry a lot of sentimental value
I lived abroad before moving in with Jarcinda and had my stuff in storage. Since I moved in to her place, she’s said she’s had to compromise more.
This is the first time I’ve kept all my belongings in one place, and now she wants me to throw some of it away. Some of the CDs date back to when I was a teenager, and they carry a lot of sentimental value. I don’t see why I should have to give them up as I’m not hurting anyone by holding on to them.
Admittedly, I’m not adhering to some minimalist existence, but I don’t want to. I’m less emotionally attached to my DVDs, but I get lost in streaming services and find the choice of films debilitating. There’s also a finite number of films on Amazon and Netflix; you can’t always find rare ones.
Sometimes I want to watch the original version of Solaris or Drive, with bonus features and the director’s interview. The last DVD I bought was a month ago – the third film in Richard Linklater’s Before trilogy. Jarcinda says, “You don’t listen to your CDs or watch the DVDs regularly enough to warrant keeping them around.” But how regular is regular? I’d love to lounge around all day, but life’s not like that. When she’s out, I’ll watch an old film alone, and it’s nice to know my collection’s there when I need it.
I’m a nostalgic person, part of the CD and DVD generation. So is Jarcinda, but she thinks I should modernise. She says she’s had to move her books two levels up on the bookshelf, but it’s just one. And I only have one little shelf of DVDs beneath the TV. The NME magazines and excess clothes I could get rid of, but I won’t put my CDs in plastic wallets. I’ve done that before and they get scratched and ruined.
I can throw more stuff away when we buy our house. But it makes me happy at the moment, so why worry? Jarcinda and I are both tidy; we just disagree on what deserves space. I see the therapeutic benefit of her having loads of her plants around, so she should let me keep my stuff. That’s good for my mental health after all.
The jury of Guardian readers
Should Jerryl throw out his CD and DVD collection and start streaming?
Unless Jarcinda is also willing to “get with the times” and move all her books to digital format, Jerryl is not guilty. I’m quite worried for their future if Jerryl says “when we buy our house”, whereas Jarcinda is saying “I’m saving to buy a house”. Ouch!
Paul, 49
Jerryl, let go of those obsolete CDs and DVDs. I’d understand if it was a record collection, but those plastic discs have no place in a modern home. Also, those old clothes would go to good use in a charity shop. You need a clearout so you can build a home that works for both of you.
Jason, 34
Streaming is OK for day-to-day use, but it’s ephemeral and could disappear overnight. So it’s understandable that Jerryl wants to keep physical copies of music and films that he loves. But, as Jerryl acknowledges, his general hoarding needs to be dealt with before they move.
Amanda, 55
Jerryl isn’t a kid; he lives with a partner now and it’s their space, not just his. He should keep a capsule set of DVDs and paraphernalia out of sight, so that he and Jarcinda can create a living space that is enjoyable for them both.
Nicola, 59
All that clutter sounds like a nightmare – though I’m more concerned about the brown scarves than the CDs. Jarcinda should count herself lucky that Jerryl’s not wearing them.
Katya, 31
Now you can be the judge
In our online poll below, tell us: should Jerryl clear out most of his CDs and DVDs?
The poll will close on Thursday 22nd December, 10AM GMT
Last week’s result
We asked if Samantha should stop wearing her winter coat all-year round.
97% of you said no, Samantha is innocent
3% of you said yes, Samantha is guilty
• This article was amended on 16 December 2022. An earlier version mixed up the results of the poll about whether Samantha should wear her winter coat all year.
