And that is that, for today’s fever dream: Tonight’s ceremony from Washington boasted a quite surreal and apparently interminable prelude of faffery, which began with Andrea Bocelli performing a typically stirring rendition of Nessun Dorma before proceedings went quickly downhill.
In the long build-up to the draw, the ever obsequious Gianni Infantino presented the giasnt man-baby Donald Trump with the inaugural Fifa Peace Prize, Robbie Williams and Nicole Sherzinger walked off the stage to the sound of their own feet after performing a power ballad, and Lauryn Hill and her sons fared little better as they rapped enthusiastically in the face of a great Fifa wall of indifference.
Taking over from hosts Heidi Klum and Kevin Hart, Rio Ferdinand and Samantha Johnson did a reasonably decent job of hosting an astonishingly complicated World Cup draw, assisted by a team of bewildered sporting legends made up of Wayne Gretzky, Tom Brady, Aaron Judge and Shaquille O’Neal.
Once the draw was concluded, the evening ended with Donald Trump and assorted dignitaries shaking their collective booty to a live performance of YMCA by the Village People because of course they did. It was that kind of night. Anyway, thanks for your time, here once again is the draw and I can’t be the only one among us who needs a stiff drink after all that weirdness. Bottoms up!
Updated
Thomas Tuchel: "Difficult group, difficult opener"
“Difficult group, difficult opener [against Croatia],” says Thomas Tuchel, in an interview with the BBC. “Difficult group with Croatia and Ghana, two regulars in World Cups and two proud and strong nations. Panama, I don’t know much about Panama at the moment but we will find out about it before the tournament starts, of course.
“For me, I’m only experienced group football in Champions League formats and the way to approach it was to always give it the biggest respect and to put all the focus into winning the group. It always seems difficult like our group now but we are confident and we will be well prepared when we arrive.”
