In an ironic twist of fate, a Reddit user, Pickyickyicky, recently shared a story on r/antiwork about their boss. The boss once showed no sympathy for a coworker grieving his dying mother, but he now faces the heartbreak of watching his own mother suffer from a terminal illness. The story has resonated with many, shining a light on workplace empathy and the power dynamics at play.
A Cold Response to Grief
According to the Reddit post, a coworker was grappling with his mother's terminal illness, and understandably, he would occasionally leave work to be by her side. Instead of offering support, the boss responded harshly, criticising him for not "being a man" and prioritising family over work. The implication was clear: professional responsibilities and financial stability should always come first, even in the face of personal tragedy.
The boss's lack of empathy stunned the coworkers and others in the workplace, who struggled to reconcile his callous behaviour. Little did the boss know, a similar fate awaited him.
Tables Turn: A Lesson in Empathy
Fast forward a year, and the boss was in the same situation as his report. His mother was diagnosed with cancer and placed in hospice care. The once stern and unsympathetic leader began to unravel emotionally, with noticeable outbursts, misdirected blame, and an evident decline in his leadership abilities.
Despite the temptation to remind the boss of his previous lack of empathy, Pickyickyicky chose not to stoop to his level. Instead, they focused on their work and supported their colleagues, even as the boss's erratic behaviour made the office environment increasingly challenging to navigate.
The Struggle for Accountability in the Workplace
Other Reddit users, such as Moleday1023, shared similar experiences. They recounted a difficult conversation with a coworker who had treated them poorly during their time of grief. "I understand what you're going through. I went through this a few years ago. I'll do what I can to help, but I wish you hadn't treated me like rubbish when I was going through it," Moleday1023 wrote.
Despite offering support, they never received an apology, and while they continued to work together, the relationship remained strained. One user pointed out in the comments, "Why is acknowledging wrongdoing so hard for people?" Another responded, "Because they think it's a sign of weakness."
This dynamic is not uncommon in workplaces, especially where management fails to recognise the importance of empathy and accountability. Many employees are left to navigate these emotionally charged situations without support, further complicating their professional relationships.
The Importance of Compassion in Leadership
The lack of compassion in the workplace is not just a personal failing but can also have broader legal implications. The Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA) allows employees to take unpaid, job-protected leave for family and medical reasons, including caring for a seriously ill parent. According to the FMLA, eligible employees can take up to twelve weeks of leave within twelve months for these circumstances. This law ensures that workers are not forced to choose between their jobs and their families during critical moments of personal hardship.
In some cases, companies have faced significant backlash for denying employees time off during personal crises. For example, one business drew public ire after refusing to grant sick leave to an employee who had just lost their home in a fire. The law is clear, and employers must understand that showing support in times of personal tragedy is not only a matter of human decency but also a legal obligation.
Bereavement Leave: Supporting Employees During Loss
Beyond medical leave, many companies also offer bereavement leave, allowing employees time to grieve the loss of a loved one. The U.S. Department of Commerce recognises that "losing a family member, close friend, or colleague can be challenging" and encourages employers to provide support through leave options. Under various legal authorities, employees can take bereavement leave for the loss of immediate relatives, including parents, spouses, and siblings, as well as close friends or individuals whose relationship is equivalent to that of a family member.
Eligibility for bereavement leave can vary based on the relationship between the employee and the deceased. Still, in many cases, it allows individuals to take the time they need to process their grief and return to work when ready. The Office of Human Resource Management advises that managers generally accept an employee's attestation of their relationship to the deceased without questioning its validity.
