Chinese single mother Cally Fan never imagined that posting about her divorce on social media would change her life in a positive way.
"I just wanted to have a social media account to write about my own thoughts and feelings during the whole divorce process," Ms Fan said.
Betrayed by her ex-husband, the 35-year-old shared all her experiences — from finding a lawyer, to talking to her children about divorce, to convincing her conservative-minded parents.
"When I made the decision to divorce no-one supported me, including my own family," said Ms Fan.
"[My mother] said that divorce is a family scandal in Chinese tradition, a private matter that cannot be told to outsiders."
Two years after ending her 10-year marriage, Ms Fan is glad she made the change.
She has more than 15,000 followers on Chinese social media platform Red and has built a marriage counselling service on her rapidly rising popularity.
Ms Fan said she was trying to empower Chinese women to consider marriage sensibly, rather than "encourage women to get divorced".
Since she qualified as a counsellor and opened her business in 2022 she has provided services to more than 700 women.
"My initial intention was to help women through my own divorce experience, so that those women can feel that they are not alone, that there is someone who understands their difficulties and empathises with them."
In China, divorce is still a social taboo that is not expected to be discussed publicly.
Divorce rates in the country peaked in 2019 then dropped slightly, but data from China's Ministry of Civil Affairs shows they are again on the rise.
More than 3 million couples divorced in the first nine months of 2022, according to the most recent figures.
Compared to data for the same period the previous year, that number rose by about 200,000.
What are women sharing on social media?
Negative perceptions of divorced women in China can include that they are immoral, promiscuous, and have failed to keep a family together.
But more women are now taking to social media to challenge those stigmas and shift the narrative.
Women are posting about their happy post-divorce lives, with some even referring to divorce certificates as "certificates of happiness".
There are online discussions on ways to fight for custody of children, how to gather evidence on infidelity, and dealing with trauma.
In response to the social media trend, some Chinese photographers have started doing "divorce photography", while wedding planners are providing services for "divorce ceremonies".
On the Red platform, one video posted by a woman of her divorce ceremony attracted more than 150,000 likes and over 7,000 comments.
In the video, social media influencer Neishuang Wushuang reads divorce vows while wearing her wedding dress, as her parents and friends stand by her side.
"The failure of a marriage does not mean the failure of our lives," said Ms Neishuang in the video while crying.
"It is important to always have the faith of love and the courage to be single."
For Delia Lin, associate professor of China studies at the University of Melbourne, seeing women sharing their experiences of divorce is "an excellent trend".
"That just shows that women are more comfortable with sharing some negative experiences, if you call it 'negative experiences', in a marriage," she said.
"So that idea of 'perfect marriage' is not something they are striving for."
History of divorce in China
Women in China got the right to initiate a divorce in the late 1930s.
Then, in 1950, the Chinese Communist Party government introduced the first marriage law that clarified and further legislated the right of women to divorce.
But despite this, men have always dominated divorce initiation in Chinese society, while divorced women have faced stigma.
During the cultural revolution, divorce was seen as the embodiment of capitalist decadence, and was typically used as a political instrument to help a person get away from a counter-revolutionary partner.
Even when the cultural revolution ended, divorced women were still perceived to be problematic.
In the 1980s there was a well-known incident that reflected these societal views involving famous writer Yu Luojin.
An article published by China's state media, titled A Degenerate Woman, attacked Ms Yu for divorcing her husband, a decision she took because there was "no romantic love" in their marriage.
However, as China's economy has developed, and with the implementation of the reform and opening-up policy, perceptions of divorce have gradually changed to be less extreme.
After the 2019 record high divorce rate, the Chinese government announced a cooling-off period for divorces, requiring all divorcing couples to wait 30 days before proceeding with their separations.
Beijing depends on marriage for social stability
While divorce rates are on the rise, the number of people getting married is declining, according to an analysis of China's Ministry of Civil Affairs marriage data by Hong Kong-based data company CEIC.
Zhou Yun, an associate professor of social demography and family sociology at the University of Michigan, said this was a problem for Beijing which views heterosexual married families as key to social stability.
"The state continues to emphasise and incentivise a sense of a heteronormative family," Dr Zhou said.
"A married heterosexual couple with children is viewed very much as integral or fundamental in the eyes of the state for social stability."
As a result, women still suffer social and legal obstacles to divorce.
"They're still expected to marry men or have children," she said.
"In many ways, the sentiment that we have observed online — this idea of women supporting each other — is also a response to the prevalent societal-level stigma and legal obstacles that a woman continues to confront."
According to data released by China's Supreme Court in 2018, 73.4 per cent of divorce litigation in China was filed by women, but it can be extremely difficult for women to find legal representation.
Ms Fan said she approached nearly 20 lawyers to get help with her divorce, which put an enormous emotional and financial strain on her.
But Dr Zhou said women's courage to discuss divorce openly was helping change China's social values and was part of a broader "girls help girls" trend that has emerged online in China in recent years.
"On the personal level, this trend also reflects how ideations and ideals about families and women's position in the world, and women's selfhood, have evolved," she said.
"On the societal level, there is socio-economic development, rising women's employment, and educational attainment.
"So, what is considered an ideal family or acceptable behaviour for women has also gradually shifted."
Liu Qunyu, 48, who lives in Shandong province, began sharing her divorce experience on the Red platform in February this year.
"Now women [in China] are awakening, and I am one of them," Ms Liu said.
"I hope that my posts can provide strength and an example to people who are in the middle of a divorce and are torn."
