A Redditor’s confession about a wedding issue was met with countless commenters debating whether she was justified.
On 27 December, @Girlwantstoknow1029 posted in the popular Reddit thread Am I The A**hole to figure out if she was in the wrong for not allowing her niece to wear white on her big day. The woman started by explaining how she and her partner are set to tie the knot in February. However, in the last week, an issue arose, threatening the picture-perfect day they were planning.
“On Christmas Day my soon-to-be sister-in-law asked if her 5-year-old daughter could wear a white dress to the wedding,” the original poster wrote. “She told me it was in a shop front in our local shopping centre.”
Stunned by the announcement, the Reddit user didn’t argue with her soon-to-be relative. Instead of giving them the green light or telling them the little girl can’t wear a white gown, they asked their partner to take care of it – obviously, implying she didn’t want her to be in the same colour dress.
“Afterwards I told my partner and he said he would speak to his sister,” she proclaimed.
The Redditor went on to say she ended up going with her extended family to preview her niece’s proposed gown. Though her niece is much, much younger than she is, the dress was too reminiscent of a bridal ensemble.
She remarked: “Today I saw the dress and it is basically a wedding dress, big and white tulle with a detailed floral lace body.”
“This is after she asked us to order her daughter a flower crown so that she can have flowers to match mine,” the upset bride added. “She isn’t a flower girl, we aren’t having any bridal party as part of our day.”
Following her explanation, the fiancé asked the anonymous users if they thought she was a bad person for not wanting her niece to be wearing something so similar to her. While most seemed to support her wedding wishes, a few found her worries absurd.
“No reason for the niece to be dressed up in a mini wedding dress with a flower crown matching OPs bouquet,” one Reddit user pointed out.
Another agreed: “No, a 5-year-old won’t ‘upstage’ the bride, but that’s not the point IMO. Letting her wear white and a flower crown to a wedding where she’s not even the flow.”
“This happened at my wedding 25 years ago. We didn’t want a flower girl but a relative’s child showed up in a white dress. It had no impact on the wedding at all. You are NTA if you say no to this,” another person said, meaning they didn’t think the woman was a bad person for being honest about how she felt.
That said, one opposer noted: “I don’t think anyone is going to confuse her for the bride if she wears white.”
Meanwhile, another added: “Well, this gave me a bit of a giggle as my niece is 5 and she wore the cutest white poofy dress and flower crown that matched my bouquet to our wedding, and we didn’t have a bridal party nor flower girl(s).”
“I don’t really have a judgement, but it’s certainly a weird hill to die on, she’s 5,” they continued.
A third said: “No one is going to mistake your 5-year-old niece for a bride because she’s wearing white. But it DOES seem apparent that SIL wants her daughter (and by extension, herself) to get attention on your wedding day.”
