Destination weddings are a popular choice for couples who want to tie the knot in a beautiful location with guaranteed good weather. But they're not cheap to organise or attend, and couples should understand that some invited guests may not want to make the trip overseas for their big day.
And one mum is risking a fallout with one of her closest friends after it became apparent she wouldn't be able to travel to attend her wedding later this year - because the bride and groom have failed to consider childcare for all the guests who have kids.
The woman said she expected a creche to be set up at the wedding venue but when she asked about childcare plans, her friend looked "scrambled" and told her she'd organise a "local nanny" to take care of the children.
However, the mum has insisted she doesn't want a stranger looking after her son, so is now considering dropping out of the wedding completely - which could ruin her friendship.
In a post on Mumsnet, she said: "My friends are having a destination wedding in a European country where one of their parents has a house. The house is practically in the middle of nowhere. The nearest airport is about two hours away, plus an hour's drive or a bus that comes who knows when.
"Most guests have young children or babies, and so do our friends. One of them has a family with young children coming from far away/not in the UK.
"They didn’t include childcare considerations in their wedding plans. After I asked if they had considered some form of creche at the venue, they looked confused and scrambled, and said they'll arrange some local nanny to look after all the children in the AirBnB where some of the family guests are staying.
"I don't really want to go. It's a hassle to get there, I don't have anyone to leave my baby with (my son has never been left with anyone - always with us) and I am not up for leaving him with some rando he's never met in an AirBnB in the middle of nowhere away from the venue.
"My friends will be very disappointed, they're kind of unforgiving when it comes to social plans (not going to one of their parties tends to result in some form of sulking/silent treatment) but whilst we are close friends, I just don't really want to go."
Commenters on the post were largely on the woman's side, with many of them telling her she isn't wrong for deciding not to go to the wedding - especially if it means leaving her baby.
One person said: "I think it's the people who expect friends and family to drop everything to attend their weddings abroad who are the unreasonable ones. I wouldn't go no matter how much it made her sulk."
While another added: "It's a ridiculous plan and you obviously shouldn't go. I wouldn't be friends with people who sulk in the first place so if they kick off as you anticipate hopefully they'll be so offended you won't have to tolerate their childish behaviour in future."
But some claimed the mum was being "inflexible" by not accepting the bride and groom's attempt at organising a nanny and said she should stop trying to put all the blame on the couple in order to feel better about not attending.
Someone wrote: "I think you sound more inflexible and harder work than they are.
"They actually looked into a nanny to try and make it easier for you to attend, yet you have given a stroppy reply about how kids might as well not be invited. There is a world of difference between accommodating kids and centring them.
"You know there are actual solutions, like going alone, or your husband going back [to the hotel] for your son's bedtime, but your answers to these posters are aggressive and sarcastic. If you don't want to go, own it, but don't place all the blame on their plans when they appear to be trying to help you when you've asked about childcare."
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