Regardless of your stance on relationships, the vast majority of people would probably agree that infidelity is not something to be celebrated. It’s a breach of trust, which often leaves one person feeling miserable. So it perhaps shouldn’t be surprising that the victim of cheating might harbor ill will for years afterwards and could even consider getting even.
A man shared his self-inflicted tale of woe, detailing how his ex, who he cheated on, got revenge on him years later and ended his current relationship. We reached out to the man in the story for comment via private message and will update the article when he gets back to us.
Cheating tends to kill relationships and leaves people with trust issues for years
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One man shared how the woman he cheated on ended up ruining his life with some well-planned revenge
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Image credits: Timur Weber (not the actual photo)
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Infidelity is one of those nearly unforgivable issues
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Cheating is a notoriously touchy subject. There is some evidence that, historically, it has been even more regulated then the often lambasted premarital sex. While there are alternatives to monogamy, most people see it as the “standard” form of a relationship. Even folks who are fine to broaden their horizons admit that cheating is as much about the physical act as it is a breach of trust.
So it might then be a bit surprising to learn that researchers believe that infidelity is actually a lot more common than most people would like to admit. Different studies have non-uniform findings, ranging from a whole third of the population, to just 12% of men and 7% of women, but that is still a relatively high number. It’s important to remember that measuring infidelity is pretty hard, as most people would never admit to it, even in private with a researcher. So the real number might be higher than studies indicate.
Just the fact that cheating is difficult to measure already reveals how most people feel about it. There are, of course, some exceptions. A person cheating on an abusive partner or a partner who is already cheating on them, for example. But even in these cases, most folks would agree that it’s best to end the relationship first anyway. In rare cases, this can cause the couple to actually make up and work it out, but it’s not a surefire solution.
Being cheated on has lingering mental effects
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This is because infidelity absolutely does affect the victim. There are a lot of factors at play, but the most common result for the victim is lasting trust issues. This actually can make it harder for a person to maintain and pursue other relationships, which can cause a negative relational spiral. After all, human relationships are key in maintaining mental health, so if a person starts to think that they can’t trust anyone, they close up and limit themselves.
People who have been cheated on have reported a whole host of symptoms, from depression to a lack of self-confidence. Beyond general mental issues, it can cause a decline in life-satisfaction, as long term relationships are characterized by comfort with each other. Being alone again after a betrayal is often hard to deal with.
However, one study found that one way to help prevent these issues was to take action. For example, if your spouse has cheated on you, being the one to initiate the divorce is correlated to fewer reports of depression compared to people who remained passive. This would suggest that “doing something about it” isn’t just plain, old vengeance, but an actual effective psychological coping mechanism. Cutting ties on your own terms is one way to take back this part of your life.
This man doesn’t have any options but to think about what he did
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This leads us to “Annie’s” actions that seem like they are straight out of Gone Girl. Her revenge was, ultimately quite cruel, perhaps even excessive, given that she is separating a newborn from a father. However, at the same time, she was the victim of his infidelity, no two ways around it.
It is quite rare that we get the revenge story from the victim’s perspective. Most people in this situation would probably want to put the entire situation behind them. As the man himself said, he has lost friends and even a job over this situation. Being caught “again” has probably thrown his entire life into the garbage.
The man gave some more details
But many readers were hardly sympathetic
