A woman has revealed that she has no intention of leaving any of her inheritance to her husband’s three kids, and people are coming to her defence.
In a recent post shared to the Reddit community, “Am I The A**hole,” @u/throwaway02202022a detailed how she and her husband, Jack, got married when they were in their 50s. And while Jack had three kids before they got together, his wife didn’t have any. However, apart from Jack, she does have her former stepson, Thomas, with whom she has stayed close.
Before getting married, Jack had his own business that he wanted to give to his children. The plan, along with a few other financial details, was put in writing.
“We signed a prenup before our wedding that basically said we each get to keep what we brought into the marriage,” she explained. “We kept our finances separate though we both contributed to a joint account for household expenses – which we split 50/50.”
Jack agreed to leave “everything to his children” while his wife would leave everything of hers to Thomas. However, when Jack’s business “went under about 4 years ago” he dug into his savings to keep it going.
“The business had been his grandfather’s and then his father’s, and he was determined to be able to hand it down to his children,” she continued. “He ended up losing almost everything. He was completely devastated.”
“Standard of living wise, not much changed, except that I am paying 100% of household expenses,” she added. “I love him and I am fine with this.”
When the Reddit user had a health scare a few weeks ago, she revised her will. She set aside a third of her assets for Thomas’ two children, a third for Thomas, and another third for Jack. She had intended to set it up so Jack “would receive a generous monthly check” and after he died, this money would go to Thomas.
She noted that she organised her will this way so that her finances would go to Thomas’ kids, not Jack’s. And Jack was quite unhappy about this.
“Jack is furious that his children aren’t going to receive anything,” she wrote. “He kept pointing out that I have 3 step-children, not just one former one. Why are his kids getting nothing and Thomas everything?”
She specified that she met Jack’s children when they were already grown up and that other than “the occasional holiday”, she’s never lived with them nor is she close with them. And while Thomas isn’t “biologically” related to her, he’s her “son in every way that counts”. However, Jack didn’t exactly see it this way.
“Jack is threatening to leave me over this,” she explained. “He keeps saying that if I don’t care about his kids that means I don’t care about him. I’ve told him that is nonsense and that I don’t respond well to ultimatums. We had planned to leave our assets separately before we were ever married, but now that he doesn’t have money suddenly he wants me to leave my money to his kids.”
This Reddit post has more than 15,200 upvotes so far, with readers in the comments noting that the wife in this situation isn’t the a***hole, as the couple made their money rules clear at the start of their marriage.
“He knew of the deal,” one wrote. “Now he is changing because his financial situation changed. He was the one making more in the first place, so he did not care about your money. But because now he has less, he cares about YOUR money.”
“This man is showing his true colours by threatening to leave you,” another wrote. “You both made a deal and he’s the one that’s trying to push your boundary?? I don’t get it.”
Many other Reddit users emphasised how Jack threatening to leave his wife because of this was a bit out of line.
“He sounds selfish,” one said. “Maybe he is too worried about his finances, but threatening for divorce is way too extreme. I’m guessing his kids are adults and should not be relying on any inheritance for anything.”
“The fact he’s threatening to divorce you over this says it all,” a comment reads. “Your husband is the [a**hole]. do not give in. Your money is for Thomas who you helped raise.”
The Independent has reached out to @u/throwaway02202022a for comment.
