A woman has sparked a debate about honesty in relationships after revealing she and her boyfriend broke up because he was upset when he found out she’d had plastic surgery.
The woman questioned whether she had been wrong not to disclose the procedures she’d had done in a post shared to the Reddit subreddit AITA [Am I the a**hole], where she revealed that her boyfriend of four months walked out on her when he found out about her nose job and breast augmentation.
In the post, the 26 year old explained that she had had a rhinoplasty procedure when she was 22 because of a bump on her nose caused by an injury when she was younger. According to the Reddit user, when she was 23, she then had a breast augmentation, with the woman revealing that both procedures helped with insecurities she had faced her entire life.
“These were life long insecurities that I was bullied over, and it was really relieving to get them done,” she explained.
However, according to the woman, who noted that she met her boyfriend through a friend and that things had been “going great,” the subject of her plastic surgery became an issue in their relationship after she’d commented on an acquaintance’s recent plastic surgery results while scrolling through social media.
“Last night, I was strolling through my social media while on the sofa with him. I stopped at an old classmate’s vacation photo, where she wore a bikini and frankly, had very obvious implants (she looks great, happy for her! But you can tell), she wrote.
The woman then revealed that her boyfriend reacted negatively to the subject of plastic surgery, and alleged that the procedures are a “turn off” to men. According to the Reddit user, her boyfriend also claimed that the surgery made his girlfriend’s former classmate seem “insecure”.
In response to the comments, the woman said she “couldn’t help but laugh,” and that she’d then asked her boyfriend whether he was “turned off” by her.
“He got very confused and asked what I meant. I informed him I had procedures done before. He kept denying it and saying I was joking until I showed him old photos of me,” she continued, before adding: “He got quiet and left shortly after. I got a text saying I should’ve disclosed this on the first date, how I led him on and that he needs to reconsider things.”
The woman then noted that, at the time of writing, she hadn’t heard from her boyfriend, and was “bewildered” by his response.
In a follow-up, she revealed that she ultimately decided to end their relationship, but wasn’t sure whether she should disclose her surgeries to potential partners during first dates in the future.
“So yeah, I’m single now, kind of confused if I should mention this to future dates before were official to weed out any more like him? How do you even bring this up?” she asked.
In another follow-up, she revealed that, in a final text, her now-ex-boyfriend said he was glad she “finally revealed” her surgeries before he “got too involved”.
“Goodbye, good luck finding someone cause no real man would respect someone who can’t even respect their own body,” he added.
The post has since been upvoted more than 15,000 times, with hundreds of Reddit users assuring the woman that she did the right thing breaking up with her boyfriend over his “childish” and “misogynistic” reaction.
“You lucked out that he showed you this side four months in. You could have been married before you found out he’s this shallow/misogynistic,” one person commented.
Another said: “[He] just did you a favour. This is incredibly weird behaviour. Why on earth would you tell someone something like this the moment you start dating them? [He] sounds controlling and shallow and weird.”
Others assured the poster that she does not need to tell potential partners about her surgeries in the future, and that it was “appalling” that her former boyfriend expected her to.
“I wouldn’t expect to know anything about someone’s medical history unless it’s relevant in the moment, or I’m an emergency medical contact. It’s absolutely not an expectation to disclose medical information on a first date,” one person commented, while someone else said: “Oh my what. You should have disclosed it on the first date?!
“I laughed, that’s how appalled I am by the nerve of this guy. How narcissistic to think that he has a RIGHT to your personal life and info about it. Girl, even if you were MARRIED you wouldn’t have to disclose such information.”
A recent report from Statista found that the number of surgical and nonsurgical cosmetic procedures in the US has increased from around 1.6 million procedures in 1997 to more than 5.5 million in 2020.
