The world is not a very fair place. Many factors impact where we end up in life, and unfortunately, a great deal of them are completely out of our control, no matter how much we wish it were otherwise.
A great example of this is the foster care system. As one Redditor shared, when he and his sister were given up by their biological parents, they happened to be separated from each other. While he was fortunate enough to be quickly adopted by some wonderful people, the girl never found a new family. When they met up some 20 years later, she couldn’t hold back her understandable jealousy that quickly made things uncomfortable for everyone involved. Scroll down to read the full story!
More info: Reddit
Life is not fair, but demanding others to make up for your troubles even though they deserve no blame is not right either
Image credits: Jessica Rockowitz (not the actual photo)
A guy was placed in foster care when he was two and got quickly adopted by a nice and loving family who gave him a great life
Image credits: Anna Shvets (not the actual photo)
Around 20 years later, he was sought out by his bio half-sister, who never got adopted despite being placed in the system at the same time
Image credits: Andrew Ly (not the actual photo)
The sister got very upset that her brother got it so much better than her and started making uncomfortable requests and complaints, telling him that he owed her
Image credits: u/throwaway45282258
The guy rejected her, saying that he was sorry for how her life turned out, but neither he nor his family were responsible for it, making the sister extremely mad
The OP began by sharing that he was placed in the foster care system when he was just 2 years old, but he got adopted by a relatively rich and generally really nice family who loved him and gave him every opportunity for a great life.
His biological half-sister, in the story referred to as Opel, was also placed in the foster home, but due to having a different last name and being brought up by a different person, she was not registered as his sibling and, thus, was separated from him.
Some 20 years later, the woman reached out to the poster, revealing to him who she was. However, when she discovered that while she was never adopted, her brother had a life most can only dream of, she got quite upset.
The sister started making frequent calls to the author, asking to hang out with him and his parents, requesting favors, and other similar things. The OP explained that since he didn’t really know the woman, things became uncomfortable rather quickly.
One night, Opel called her brother, complaining about being excluded from the get-together some women in the family recently had, to which the poster replied by saying that she should understand as she’s not really family to them.
This kind of response sent the sister screaming about the unfairness of all this and how her brother owes it to her to make sure that she’s as included in the family as he is because of how much better he turned out.
The OP replied that he was very sorry for what happened, both now and in the past, but neither he nor his family owed her anything. After he hung up the phone, Opel began blowing it up with texts, calling him an evil jerk, which made him doubt his decision.
The commenters unanimously agreed that contrary to what his sister said, the OP was not a jerk. They were very empathetic about her situation but also said that this type of behavior was not okay regardless, with many theorizing that she might have additional psychological problems she should start working on.
Image credits: Remy_Loz (not the actual photo)
Growing up in a foster home is by no means easy, and if you never had to spend time there, you can probably consider yourself lucky. As Three Circle Fostering shared, children growing up in foster care are quite likely to encounter many challenges and experiences that will reflect on them physically, mentally, and emotionally later on.
This type of life experience can also negatively impact a child’s education through the instability and disruptions that they may deal with quite often. At the same time, the impact might be not only academic but social, too, as growing up in the system can make it a lot more challenging to succeed in school and relationships and achieve goals.
Lastly, when it comes to leaving the foster home and transitioning into adult life, things can be just as complicated, as the children might not be sufficiently prepared due to all the previous challenges they went through.
While, according to BetterHelp, neglect is the leading cause of children ending up in the foster care system, there are many other reasons why this might happen. For example, other contributing factors may be abuse, family crisis or tragedy, or guardians ending up in jail. It may even be the case that the family member gives up the child voluntarily or the kid chooses to enter the system by themselves.
To give you a better perspective on the matter, here are some statistics:
- There are roughly 424,000 children in foster care in the US at any time.
- About 250,000 kids end up in group homes yearly.
- Most children enter the system at the age of 8.
- On average, a child spends 23 months in foster care awaiting adoption.
- Around 20,000 of those children never get adopted before aging out of the system.
And so, ultimately, the outlook here is pretty grim because, just like the OP’s bio half-sister, not everyone manages to turn out alright. Fortunately, things can be done to change that, at least in some way. There are people and initiatives out there that seek to help children and young people in similar situations, providing all the material and support needed for their success. So, if you ever feel like pitching in but don’t feel ready to commit to adoption, why not start by helping out there?
What did you think about this story? Have you ever had any similar experiences? Share your thoughts down below!
The commenters agreed that the poster was not a jerk while also voicing concern for his sister’s mental well-being
