A nurse who lost four of her closest loved ones in the space of three years says her son has been her "rock".
Gill Bennett, from Ystrad Mynach, went through a "devastating" time between 2018 and 2021 with the deaths of her mam, cousin, sister and brother. Speaking to WalesOnline, she has paid tribute to them and spoken about her charity fundraiser in their memory.
The Ysbyty Cwm Cynon Hospital nurse, 59, lost her mam Isabel Jones in November 2018. Gill described her as "very quick-witted", and someone who "would do anything for anyone".
When Gill's 23-year-old son Taylor was a child, he would call Isabel 'Isbo', a name which stuck for the rest of her life. Isbo helped take care of Taylor in his early years and they became extremely close. "They would wind each other up and have playfights," Gill recalled. "My son was very much a chip off my mam's block. They had the same wit."
In the late '90s Isbo overcame breast cancer after going through chemotherapy and a mastectomy. The illness returned when she was 82 and she lived only a couple of months after her diagnosis. The suddenness of the deterioration was difficult to take for Gill, who says her mam had been "very fit and strong" despite her age.
Gill was by Isbo's side almost 24/7 during her final weeks in hospital, often joined by Taylor. "I took time off to be with her and didn't want to leave her side," she said. "We said how much we loved each other. My boy would stroke her hand and they'd have a bit of banter.
"Two days before she died it was Taylor's birthday. It had just gone past midnight into his birthday and my mam said, 'Happy birthday Tay.' She died two days after. I'm convinced she held out because she didn't want to pass on his birthday."
Gill's cousin Owen Bennett died at the age of 20 in July 2019. A star hooker for Caerphilly and Nelson rugby clubs, he was a close friend to Taylor.
"Owen was a fantastic boy, the life and soul of the party," said Gill. "He loved a laugh and always made everyone feel happy. He used to play football with my son before switching over to rugby. The night before Owen died they were together at the pub with their friends.
"Taylor was devastated when he heard the news. I told him we would be there for each other. We had both been each other's rock and had each other's back. I didn't want him to bottle it up."
Two days after Owen's funeral, Gill's sister Wendy Shaw died at the age of 61 from a brain haemorrhage. "She was a loving person with a great sense of humour," said Gill.
Wendy lived in Stockport, which meant she and Gill did not see each other as often as they would have liked. "Life gets in the way, but we would talk on the phone. It was lovely to see her at mam's funeral, and give her a cwtch and a kiss before she went back up to Manchester. I don't think there were any regrets that we didn't say what we meant to each other."
Gill's brother Andy Jones died in September last year following a battle with chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD). He was 63.
"My brother was well-known around Caerphilly because he used to work on the doors," said Gill. "Andy was very good with people, he could handle them in a way that didn't resort to violence. He and my son were really good mates. If Taylor had an issue about 'men things' he used to talk to Andy.
"We were always close. When he worked the doors at the Camelot Club he would say to punters, 'Buy me a pint and I'll give you her number.' And he'd point to me. He used to get a few pints but they'd never get my number," she laughed.
"I met him in Caerphilly for coffee a few weeks before he passed. He was not in the best of health but it was still a shock when he died so soon afterwards. He'd had a few infections over the past couple of years, and when he had the last one I don't think his body could fight it anymore."
Gill says she kept her mam in mind when navigating her grief alongside Taylor. "She had always been my role model, always been there for me. That's what I'm trying to do for my boy."
The nurse has instilled in Taylor the importance of celebrating the happy memories of their loved ones' lives. She added: "I wanted to show him you can do positive things to get through grief. I love being out in nature. We're fortunate to have it around us in Ystrad Mynach. I find nature and exercise has got me through some of the darkest days."
Gill has also put her energy into raising funds in honour of those she has lost. In the months after Isbo, Owen and Wendy died she spent her days off raising £1,750 for Holibobs Children’s Cancer Charity by selling cakes and silk bows in the reception of her workplace.
And in October this year she will trek from Lukla airport to Everest base camp and back, a round trip expected to take 12 to 13 days. Gill, who has run marathons in the past, says preparation for the Everest trip has given her a goal to focus on while she has been grieving. She is raising funds for the Cardiac Risk in Youth charity, after being moved by the story of Jack Thomas from Caerphilly, who was only 15 when his heart suddenly stopped while he was watching a rugby game.
"It's going to be so emotional to finally get to the base camp," said Gill. "Taylor is 100% behind me. I couldn't have done this without his support."
You can donate to Gill's fundraiser here.
