Knowing how many attendees you will have at your wedding ceremony is crucial in order to budget accordingly for seating, catering, and other logistics of your big day.
Dealing with disrespectful guests who don’t respond to your invite can, therefore, result in a headache when making these calculations.
Nishma Mistry, the 39-year-old creator of Asian Bride Sorority, has shared a tip for those about to tie the knot. The former bride crafted a message that people can send when their guests have failed to respond to their invitations by the deadline.
A woman has shared a message future spouses can use for their wedding planning
Image credits: asianbridesorority
“I see the frustration of not getting RSVPs back. I thought, ‘Let me draft something,'” Mistry explained.
The message reads, “We’re sorry you can’t make it to our wedding. Our RSVP deadline has passed, and you unfortunately did not respond.
“We would have loved to have you attend, but final numbers have now been turned in and your presence will be missed.”
The message can then be signed by the spouses.
“RSVP” is an initialism of the French phrase, “répondez s’il vous plaît,” and it is colloquially used to describe the action of replying to an invite.
The “missed RSVP” cards can be sent when guests fail to respond to invitations by the deadline
When planning her nuptials in the early 2000s, Mistry invited 550 guests to her ceremony. Consequently, the Georgia-based mom of two understands the importance of establishing the final headcount for the event.
“I had to call everyone and ask, ‘Are you coming?’ It was such a waste of time,” she recalled.
“You have a list the size of your arm to get done and you’re trying to appease everyone.”
Others, however, have disapproved of her approach, deeming it too impolite.
“I got criticism for being too harsh. People are saying it is a bit tacky,” Mistry, who works as the marketing manager for an online bridal community, told SWNS.
“But people have the invite for four months … It’s inconsiderate.”
“We’re sorry you can’t make it to our wedding. Our RSVP deadline has passed, and you unfortunately did not respond,” the message begins
Elaine Swann, wedding etiquette expert and founder of The Swann School of Protocol in California, said that Mistry’s message is “acceptable.”
“I did advise my brides to send a note to folks when they missed the cutoff, so I do believe that this response is acceptable,” she told Fox News.
“I did have a bride do this, and the party who received it was sorely disappointed, but they had to accept it as their truth,” she added.
The bride in question had planned an intricate meal for her ceremony, so she needed to know how many people she could count on.
Nishma Mistry, who invited 550 people to her wedding in the 2000s, created the cards to make the planning process easier
Mistry explained that culturally, South-Asian weddings usually have many ceremonies across the span of a week, making her cards necessary
@asianbridesorority If i got this, i would be sure never to forget to RSVP – and yes i think its valid after a couple reminders. #weddingguest #weddingtiktok #weddinginvitation #weddinginvites #southasianweddings ♬ original sound – Nish – Asian Bride Sorority
“Oftentimes people feel as though if they’re not going to attend, they should not respond, but you should,” Swann said.
“And then, of course, utilize the response method that the couple has provided, whether it’s mailing a card back or responding online.”
The only part of the RSVP message she would modify is the section that says “You unfortunately did not respond.”
As she explained, this could make the guest feel guilty about not attending the wedding.
“We certainly don’t want to kind of rub it in by saying [that].”
“I wish I would have thought of this when I got married,” a woman wrote
