Friendships are essential to our well-being, offering a source of support, joy, and companionship. But when those friendships involve our spouse’s friends, things can get messy, especially when boundaries become unclear. This Redditor finds herself in a sticky situation with her husband’s best friend after convincing her to give her own baby a unique name which she didn’t expect her to take seriously.
More info: Reddit
Selecting the right baby name is quite hard, you are not just naming a baby but a person
Image credits: CHUTTERSNAP (not the actual photo)
The poster had to deal with an annoyed friend of the family after she gave her baby a very “unique” name
Image credits: Kampus Production (not the actual photo)
She named her son DeLonquious after the OP jokingly suggested it
Image credits: nappy (not the actual photo)
Credit: u/Equivalent-Ice9948
Hubby’s BFF claimed she was tricked, her husband and the OP’s hubby back her up
The author started on quite an interesting note, claiming that her husband is not romantically attracted to his best friend, who, however, often gives the vibe that she might be interested. The author got pregnant around the same time as the BFF, whose husband goes to great lengths to fulfill her every need.
While discussing baby names, the author mentioned she had a list, which the BFF said she wanted to see. The author initially refused, but eventually allowed the BFF to pick any name she wanted on the condition that she wouldn’t give her child the same name.
This deterred the friend for a while, until she asked for the most likely candidate. The author told her that her husband wanted to name their son after a deceased college friend, “De’Lonquius,” as a joke. The author didn’t expect the BFF to take it seriously, yet she ended up giving her son the same name. The friend seemed pleased because the author’s husband confirmed it reminded him of his friend.
When the author’s son, Daniel Alden, was born, the husband’s best friend wanted to know why they chose that name. The author explained that they named him after one of her grandfathers.
The BFF was furious, feeling tricked by the author into giving her white son an African American name. The author’s husband thinks she is a jerk for allowing this to happen, but is also upset with his best friend for wanting to steal a baby’s name.
Image credits: Yan Krukau (not the actual photo)
The OP’s husband lets his best friend do what she wants, clearly not establishing clear boundaries and refusing to prioritize his wife, as one of the commenters pointed out. Setting boundaries is essential for keeping relationships healthy and fulfilling. “Healthy boundaries with friends ensure that the sanctity and intimacy of the marital relationship are preserved, allowing both partners to thrive together,” according to Marriage.com.
In an article by Kevin A. Thompson, it is noted that married men and women can have friendships with one another and with their single counterparts, but those friendships should be fundamentally different than the ones they have with people of the same sex or the relationships they had with others before they were married. Friendship is built around shared time and/or attention. Two or more people focus on something outside of themselves, and this creates a connection.
Dr. Sara B. Moore, Associate Professor and Chairperson of the Sociology Department at Salem State University, spoke to Bored Panda about the importance of clear communication and respecting boundaries in any friendship. She notes, “Conflict in any friendship is unavoidable, but clear communication and a willingness to apologize can go a long way in helping to mend broken fences.”
“Without knowing all the details, it sounds like this woman could have been clearer about not wanting to share her list and reiterated that the continuous pressure was threatening their friendship.” She continues “At the same time, there were likely plenty of opportunities for her clarify the “joke” she was playing, so it sounds like her willingness to let her friend give their baby a unique name was a bit mean-spirited. It sounds like both women need to apologize for their part in the conflict and decide whether this situation is going to strengthen or end their friendship”
AlloHealth writes that “Boundaries are essential to safeguard your relationship and ensure that your opposite-gender friendships don’t cross a line.” Boundaries can include things like not engaging in physical contact with your opposite-gender friends or avoiding spending alone time with them.
However, it’s important to note that setting boundaries doesn’t mean you have to cut off all communication with your opposite-gender friends. It’s possible to maintain a platonic friendship while still respecting the boundaries that you and your partner have established.
One of those boundaries could be baby names as the OP clearly didn’t like the husband’s friend’s interference while he never noticed anything wrong. That left redditors concerned about his reaction. Many stated that he really needs boundaries and seemingly don’t understand why he would react that way since he was also part of the naming process of his child.
People in the comments agreed she was not the jerk
