If you’re part of a friend group, chances are, you all pitch in for gifts and take care of the matter together. And while that in itself is a team effort, there’s usually one person who takes the reins and makes the purchase.
In her friend group, redditor u/MaxxxJac was said person, as she would usually collect the money from all of the people involved and buy the gift for the celebrant. The problem was, one person would always be difficult to get the reimbursement from, which eventually led to the OP publicly shaming her, after she took credit for a gift she didn’t even pitch in for.
People in friend groups often pitch in for gifts for their buddies on significant occasions
Image credits: micens/Envato elements (not the actual photo)
In this friend group, one person was constantly late with covering their share
Image credits: LightFieldStudios/Envato elements (not the actual photo)
Image credits: MaxxxJac
If repaid in a timely manner, small loans can make the lender feel good
Image credits: Pixabay/Pexels (not the actual photo)
You don’t have to be the person in the friend group collecting the money to know that it can be a rather difficult task to do. Taking your friends’ word for it and covering for them might not be a big deal, especially when the money is returned in a timely manner; however, if all friends started doing that and waited for months to pay one back, the organizer’s goodwill might leave them eating nothing but rice until the next pay day.
The possibility of scenarios such as the month-long rice diet might make one wonder, why would anyone want to show initiative and take matters into their own hands, in regards to buying gifts for the friend group? Well, while the answer is likely to be that they simply like to take initiative (or have the “If I want it done right, I have to do it myself” kind of mindset), they also get a slight rush of endorphins out of all of that.
Research suggests that if—and only if—the person on the receiving end is not exploiting the friendship and repays what they owe in a timely manner, small loans can make the person lending the money to a friend feel good. That’s because a short-term lending arrangement provides the lender with an opportunity to show care for a close friend and helps them meet the social expectations that are typically associated with fostering a friendship.
The receiver, on the other hand, does not typically have the same feeling, as, despite receiving the financial benefit, they place a burden on their friend; the borrower might link said burden with exploiting the friendship and hence feel uncomfortable about it. Though, the OP’s example clearly shows that the extent to which the person feels uncomfortable being indebted to a friend is not the same with each individual.
People spend large amounts of money on gifts each year
Image credits: Matej/Pexels (not the actual photo)
Whether or not covering for everyone (if they haven’t collected the money in advance) makes the organizer feel good, they might have to do it either way, if they want the gift giving to happen; and quite often, the burden of the entire operation—or the purchasing part, at least—falls on their shoulders alone.
While that can be annoying or frustrating at times, it might not be better if all in the group were equally as proactive, or similar in other ways, either. A study published just a couple of months ago found that having a diverse friend group—consisting of people of different age, ethnicity, income, education, and other characteristics—can have a positive effect on one’s social cohesion and their wellbeing.
Be that as it may, said well-being might not be positively affected by someone in the friend group delaying—or forgoing—covering their part of the expenses. And unfortunately, the latter can add up to quite a significant amount, bearing in mind how much people tend to spend on gifts every year. (According to Gitnux, back in 2019, for instance, the global gifting market was valued at $1.2 trillion dollars.) That’s why it’s crucial to repay one’s debts in time or at least not to say you will chip in when you are not planning to.
Netizens shared their thoughts in the comments, many didn’t think the OP was being a jerk
Others believed the situation might have been better handled differently
