Good friends are hard to find and keep. With all the stress of life and the responsibilities that come with age, it may be tough to make time for old friendships. But, when people really care about one another, they do their best for each other during great and difficult times.
Unfortunately, this mom got a reality check about her long-term friends. She had always cherished their bond until the day they dropped her like a hot potato. They devised a fake reason for doing so, but she eventually uncovered the truth.
More info: Mumsnet
Mom is heartbroken after a 13-year friendship ends and realizes too late that she had fairweather friends
The poster shared that she was going through a tough time after having undergone surgery recently and learning her husband had a serious life-limiting disease
One day, she ran slightly late for her friend’s birthday event and texted beforehand to inform everyone, but when she arrived, she realized everyone was in a bad mood
Her friends told her that it was bad form to be late and that she should be more organized, the woman felt like her friends were suddenly ganging up on her
She later sent a message on their friend group chat saying she wouldn’t be attending future events and chastised them for being unkind while she was already dealing with a lot
The author shared a heartbreaking story of seeing her friendships in a new light. She first explained that she had been dealing with a lot in her personal life. Having recently undergone surgery, she was already feeling fragile. On top of that, her husband had been diagnosed with a rare, life-threatening illness. All of these situations were weighing heavily on her.
But, despite all that, she still made time to meet her friend group. Her close friends had come together to celebrate one person’s birthday. When the poster arrived late for the event, everyone seemed to attack her for her tardiness, and she burst into tears. After the event, only a few friends checked in on her, while the rest ignored her completely.
Despite the friend group having been together for 13 years, one small incident led to such a big fight. The woman shared that she never wanted to see any of them again, and it almost felt like a friend breakup. When close friendships fall apart like this, it can evoke intense emotions like grief, anger, and sadness. The strong emotional connections and shared experiences make it tougher for people to let go.
Most people don’t think the end of a friendship is that big of a deal. But, it can have a significant impact on one’s mental health and even lead to increased levels of anxiety and loneliness. The poster mentioned that she felt devastated and blinded by the behavior of the group. That’s why it’s important to take such feelings seriously and open up about them to someone. Talking to a family member or going for therapy can help the person deal with this sudden void in their life.
At first, her friends seemed angry about her tardiness, but later, she received a text on the group chat, which made her realize the truth. She said, “I am being dropped because [my husband] is ill, and we are not a ‘fun couple’ anymore, I guess. We have suddenly found out that they are not real friends, and their friendship is conditional on us being available for ‘good times’ only, I have no doubt birthday friend has engineered this change, as she has not even acknowledged me since the dinner.”
That’s when the poster realized that she had fairweather friends. This term refers to people who are always present during one’s good times but seem to disappear as soon as the going gets tough. It’s disappointing to learn that one’s friendships are so shallow. Once you’ve recognized this fact, it’s important to set clear boundaries with the people and try to move on.
Therapists explain that some fairweather friends thrive on chaos and love creating conflict. It’s possible the birthday girl from the post spearheaded the entire drama. The poster also stated that when she sent a message on their group chat, a few friends understood her point of view, but “birthday friend and two others have completely ignored my message altogether (so far).”
Nobody wants to lose a good friend, but if they behave like this, maybe they aren’t all that good to begin with. The poster might be dealing with distressing feelings now, but in the long run, losing such superficial relationships might, in fact, be good for her.
How do you think the woman should have handled this dramatic situation? What would you have done in her place?
Most commenters sided with the woman and said that she should drop her fake friends and only consider repairing the relationship if they apologized
