A woman has been branded "rude" for asking her mother-in-law to help clean up after inviting her over for lunch. The woman took to Mumsnet to find out if she was in the wrong.
Mumsnet is a forum where parents discuss issues relating to their children. It is popular amongst parents of all age groups and posts can collect hundreds of comments from other parents.
The woman took to the 'Am I being Unreasonable' section of the internet forum to ask other parents for their advice on the situation. Commenters were divided, with some berating the mum for her actions, while others sympathised.
Read more: Mum hurt after grandparents offer to pay disabled grandchild not to attend party.
She explained the situation on Mumsnet. She said: "I need some help, am I being unreasonable, do I need to apologise or do they? So, over the Easter holidays I invited my partner's parents to come and celebrate Easter Sunday with us, to which they did.
"We had cooked a roast dinner and all sat outside to eat. At the end of eating and everyone getting on well, I asked my partner's mum to help me bring the plates inside along with everyone else. ( some info - his mum normally sits there and expects everyone to wait on her, she's not elderly and is a young mum).
"She decided to then run off and go for a walk, my partner said to her when she returned did you not like the idea of helping out? To which she replied with a sarcastic comment on how she put a bottle in the bin.
"Unfortunately, I had enough of her not helping (as last weekend we went away and when it came to everyone clearing up she went and sat in her bedroom for a rest) so I said 'Are you joking? We only asked you to bring some plates in to help out.' She didn't think I was serious and asked if I was serious which I replied 'yes I am serious, it would be nice if you helped out'.
"She obviously went mental at me and started screaming at me calling me names and then his dad then joined in and I stood there for about 10 minutes of them shouting at me, slating me how I can't do my job, how they hate me, how I have put a wedge between their son and them and was very nasty to me. I just kept replying with 'ok', and 'that's fine' as I did not want to hurt their feelings and regret anything I said.
"They continued to shout at me and asked why start an argument if I can't finish it. I asked them to leave, which they did and continued to shout names at me whilst they drove off.
"My OH (other half) just stood there and said 'stop' twice and didn't stand up for me. We're suppose to get married in 4 weeks and I cannot think of having his disrespectful family by me.
"I am hurt that he didn't stand up for me, in which he thinks he hasn't done anything wrong and just says he's upset by the situation and wants me to apologise. The whole situation was blown out of proportion over some plates, but I am at a loss as to what to do. I don't want to talk to his parents after the comments/name calling towards me.
"Am I in the wrong? How do I resolve the situation?"
The post was branded "rude" and she was told she was "looking for an argument" by other Mumsnet users. Thestagshead said: "Why didn’t you ask his father? Is he disabled? And no I don’t ask my guests to clear and have a go at them when they don’t. How very rude of you."
ExcaliburBaby agreed. They said: "I hate to say it but it does sound to me like you were looking to start an argument for some reason. I wouldn’t invite someone for a meal and expect them to help clear up. I would have asked my OH to help clear up! I’m not saying they are in the right for the way they reacted - shouting etc. No idea how this will be resolved as there’s clearly bad feeling on both sides for whatever reason and your partner is stuck in the middle!"
Most users agreed that you should not expect guests to clear up after dinner. Chely said: "I always clear up after guests. Nice if they offer help but it is never expected."
Nicknacky added: "I never expect guests to bring plates in, nice if they offer but even then I would say no thanks. I certainly wouldn’t cause and argument about it. Why did you ask your mother in law, rather than your partner or his dad?"
Some Mumsnet users stuck up for the poster. Bunnybingesoneggs said: "Nasty people aside I would reconsider a marriage to a man who stood by and let you be verbally abused.. Imagine your DC (darling children) having these people as DGPs (darling grandparents)?"
AllFreeOwls added: "It's not like you're expecting a guest to do a top to bottom clean of your house. I wouldn't be rushing into marrying this man and tying myself to this family."
What do you think? Let us know in the comments section.
