Starting a family and having kids is universally celebrated. However, the occasion often overshadows the non-zero chance of there being complications that might just turn a joyous event into a flat out sad one. And it might not stop there.
A woman recently turned to Reddit to find out if she’d be wrong to name her soon-to-be-born daughter the same name that her friend chose for her kid who ended up being stillborn. Something she did not know until almost everything was said and done.
Trauma in a family might not stay concealed within it—it might just start seeping through the cracks and affecting other people
A pregnant woman was wondering if her friend’s trauma should affect her choice of name for her daughter
Opinions varied, but one thing commenters were sure about—that it’s probably best to choose a different name
Image credits: Aditya Romansa / unsplash (not the actual photo)
In a nutshell, this one woman has a friend who experienced a stillbirth and it has only now surfaced that the name she had chosen for her daughter is the same that OP chose for hers. This in turn led to a request to change the name, but OP refused, prompting a post on Reddit.
Folks were mostly divided between ruling that nobody is wrong and that OP is not wrong in her decision. While the friend can’t claim ownership of a name, it’s also not worth losing a close friend over it.
Whatever the case, people suggested to go with a different name, and, what is more, to seek therapy. For everyone, to be honest.
For context, the issue is strictly based on social relations and is not reinforced by the law
Image credits: Yuya Hata / unsplash (not the actual photo)
In this particular case, social ties and personal experiences between the two friends do not constitute reason for a name change, which in any case would only ever be eligible for objection if it was actually legally given.
Naming laws and regulations mostly deal with the contents of the names. So, no special characters or numbers, derogatory terms or offensive names, unique names and titles, that sort of deal.
Naming rules also state that, at least in the US, many states require a minimum of 2 names on a birth certificate, which are the family name and a given name. As long as they follow the rules above, they can choose any name, really.
Now, can someone object to names? Minus what the law says, not really. At least not when naming a kid for the first time. Now, when it comes to changing names, that’s a different deal.
In a nutshell, it is possible to object to name changes. This generally applies in two cases: the person objectifying knows that the name change is done for illegal or fraudulent purposes, or if parents disagree on the last name once it has already been given and one of them attempts to petition for a change.
So, legally, OP can choose the name she wants, but morally, ethically, and socially that might put her at odds with her friend, so there’s that.
But what are your thoughts on any of this? Should OP’s friend just let it go, should OP cave, or [insert third option that you’re more than free to suggest]? Share your takes and stories in the comment section below!
Those who ruled the mom-to-be not in the wrong argued that she was neither wrong nor could she have known the name beforehand
Many folks said they don’t see anyone doing anything wrong as all sides have some valid arguments
Yet, some did play devil’s advocate and pointed out why the woman ought to oblige
