Despite being a moment of joy and celebration, emotions are always high when it comes to tying the knot. The pressures of creating the perfect moment can often cause cracks in relationships between family members and friends, particularly when someone attempts to steal the limelight from the bride or groom.
Couples who are tasked with organising the big day often say that wedding planning brings out people's true colours, as arguments over plus ones, bringing children along and limited guest lists can taint relationships forever. It's no wonder that one woman has shared her hesitancy over announcing her pregnancy at a family wedding, knowing that it could go down terribly with the bride and groom.
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Taking to Reddit to ask for advice over the moral dilemma, the 31-year-old, who remains anonymous, explained why she was contemplating her options when revealing her big news.
"My boyfriend (34m) and I (31f) have been dating for 12 years and just decided to start trying for a baby. We have not announced that were trying for a baby because it will result in our families lecturing us about getting married and having a wedding. We do not want a wedding and marriage isn't important to us," she shared.
Detailing how she came to find out her big news so close to her cousin's nuptials, the woman explained: "We have a family wedding to attend this weekend, therefore I took a pregnancy test, just to double check, before a weekend of heavy drinking.
"Well it was positive and we are so excited. I do not want to announce that I am pregnant until we go to the doctor or after 12 weeks."
As a self-professed big drinker, the woman admits her concern over not consuming alcohol at the wedding as turning a boozy drink down would immediately give her news away.
She said: "This happened so quickly I am not sure what to do. The bride has been dreaming about her wedding day her whole life and all the attention should be on her. I do not want to take her spotlight."
Equally, she stressed that "this will be the first grandchild in the family and I assume that everyone will be so excited."
While those who don't drink heavily could potentially get away with rejecting alcoholic beverages at a family event without being questioned, the Reddit poster revealed how her drinking habits are influencing her decision.
"The problem is that I drink alcohol and get drunk at every family event. My family loves to party and we take shots together, shotgun beer together, and randomly challenge each other to chugging contests. I am fully involved in the festivities and instigate a lot of the drinking."
She added: "Basically, it will be very noticeable that I am not drinking and refusing shots. I am planning on pretending to drink beers by replacing it with water but I don't think this will actually fool my family."
The family dilemma was causing so much stress for the mum-to-be that she contemplated ditching the wedding all together: "I know the bride will be angry if there are rumors about my pregnancy during her wedding. My cousin will be annoyed that I made his new wife angry, but he's reasonable and would not actually be mad at me."
With just days to go before the wedding, the woman's partner came up with a last-ditch attempt to solve their dilemma: "My boyfriend suggested that we should call everyone and announce that we are pregnant today.
"Therefore, it does not happen during her wedding. I don't think making the announcement a few days before her wedding will actually help."
In another layer to the conundrum, the woman is also concerned about announcing her pregnancy too early. She said: "I am uncomfortable with this because I've only taken at home pregnancy tests and have not been to the doctor.
"I do not know how far along I am. Plus, I am more terrified of the possibility of having to announce a miscarriage to the whole family."
Reddit users raced to the comment section to offer advice on the difficult scenario, with many scheming to create false excuses the woman could use for not drinking at the wedding.
One person who had experienced a similar predicament shared their tips for pretending to drink alcohol while pregnant. They said: "I ordered sprite with cranberry and ice. It looks exactly like vodka cranberry (someone asked me what it was and I said vodka cranberry and they were excited to go get a glass for them too).
"When someone put a drink on my hand I would accept it, either pretend to drink or give it to my husband. Nobody noticed anything. I still partied like crazy and everybody thought I was tipsy".
Many others urged the woman to tell her family that she was on a course of antibiotics so couldn't drink. One said: "Make sure to come up with a condition as well. When I did it I went with UTI".
Other ideas for excuses included taking a blood test, having an stomach ulcer or wanting to stick to a strict diet.
After encouraging the mum-to-be to come up with an excuse not to drink, one commenter said: "Don't be an a** and try to co-opt someone else's millstone celebration."
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