You couldn't design two more different people if you tried.
Dolly Parton, with her immaculate makeup, glamorous hairdos, glitzy jewelry and country girl outfits enrobing one of the sweetest, most down-home, never-met-a-stranger American icons of all time.
Not to mention a musical genius who is one of the smartest businesswomen in the music industry, retaining both the rights to her original catalog and the grace and dignity and sass that goes along with a nearly seven-decade career.
Then there's Mark Zuckerberg.
An almost militant follower of Silicon Valley fashion trends, the tech mogul behind Facebook is inevitably found in either a hoodie and jeans or a really uncomfortable looking suit.
The latter is worn most often when he is being grilled by elected leaders in Washington, D.C., usually over some sort of privacy kerfuffle that his social media business has landed him smack in the middle of again.
Oh, he also sometimes wears a wetsuit if he is surfing.
We will avoid the topic of his hairdos entirely.
Normally, there would be no way that these two would ever appear in the same lane, let alone Venn diagram, of success.
But compare them we must, for Dolly, in the headlines once again for graciously declining her nomination the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame, has hopped those pretty little stilettos squarely into Zuckerberg's territory.
That's right, y'all. Dolly Parton is joining the metaverse.
How Did This Happen?
The simplest explanation for how we all found ourselves at this junction is that the metaverse, an alternate reality likely going gangbusters on your child's tablet right now, is beginning to take shape as an increasingly popular place for brands, celebrities and actual people to stake their claim.
Zuckerberg has been particularly keen on the metaverse, saying that he sees it as the most likely direction for the future of Facebook.
He's been rapidly snapping up properties and goods and virtual real estate to create a place for users to buy new houses, find cool clothes and, of course, spend, spend, spend.
It's become an ever-popular way for brands like Disney, Gucci, Hyundai, Nike, Microsoft, Balenciaga, Luis Vuitton and Coca-Cola to push their brand names even further and get in on the ground floor.
Some of these companies have also paired with celebrities to create non-fungible tokens, or NFTs, to announce their entrance into the metaverse, effectively throwing down the gauntlet for both competitors and consumers alike.
So That's Why Dolly Is There?
Followers of Miss Dolly know that she is nothing if not prolific.
She's written hit songs that are still making millions years later ("I Will Always Love You" is all Dolly), she founded a book club that sends free books to children in economically distressed areas, and she hasn't stopped making original music for even a year or two.
She also saved this random kid's life on a movie set a while ago.
This, coupled with her longstanding feminism and salty rejoinders to life and its vagaries, has made her so popular that many of her fans started calling her Saint Dolly.
That's success you can bank on.
Not to be outdone by literally anything else happening at SXSW, a popular music festival in Austin, Texas, that is now as much about selling things as it is about music, Dolly basically did the biggest mic drop possible
She introduced three new products: The Dollyverse, a new novel she's written titled "Run, Rose, Run," and just to be sure y'all are listening close, she debuted an NFT in collaboration with FOX Entertainment’s Blockchain Creative Labs.
The novel she penned with the insight of the New York Times best-selling novelist James Patterson, but knowing Dolly, she probably didn't need much help.
What Does This Have to Do With Mark Zuckerberg?
So far, Zuckerberg has seen middling traction on his metaverse vision. Yes, brands are getting involved, but the intensity and enthusiasm he has for a place that isn't even built yet has made some classic tech investors wary.
Meta also tanked its stock 26% after reporting it spent $10 billion on its metaverse business during its last earnings report, a tangible example of what can happen if you don't have the market quite on your side yet.
Zuckerberg has faced some substantial criticism about putting the cart before the horse when it comes to how the metaverse will actually work.
One common complaint is that Facebook has a lot of work to do to fix the social harms it has already caused.
Those include spreading misinformation, causing measurable harm to developing child and teen brains, and sometimes actively stoking political tensions and then abruptly stopping — like this weekend, when it was briefly possible for the entire world to post ways to kill Vladimir Putin.
Mmhmm CEO Phil Libin even called the metaverse idea 'stupid,' 'uncreative' and 'an old idea' that 'never worked.'
You've never heard that said of Saint Dolly.
Dolly and Mark: The Ultimate Matchup
If anyone ever had a fanbase loyal enough to follow them literally anywhere, it is Dolly Parton.
And if anyone ever had a passion for a project so intense that it made people buy houses and clothes that don't actually exist, it is Mark Zuckerberg.
So the synergy of these two could turn out to be a good thing, if Zuckerberg plays his cards right. In the meantime, keep your eye out for Dolly's new universe, dropping March 18.
“I’m almost always up for trying something new and different,” Parton said. “I'd say releasing NFTs at my first ever appearance at SXSW, with James Patterson by my side, definitely counts as new and different.”
