We should all agree that when it comes to the way of giving birth, a woman must make a decision that’s the best both for her and for the baby. But where should the line be drawn when it comes to a father contributing to this decision?
Well, that’s what the couple in this story was trying to figure out, too. The woman thought that it was only her decision, while the man argued that since it’s also his baby, he should have a say in the birth plan. What’s your opinion on this question? Share your answer with us in the comments after reading the story!
More info: Reddit
Should a pregnant woman be the only one who’s responsible for making decisions about the way the baby’s going to be born?
Image credits: lucas mendes (not the actual photo)
Woman plans on having birth in a natural birthing center, but her husband is a fan of the idea of her getting immediately hooked up to Pitocin
Image credits: MART PRODUCTION (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Timur Weber (not the actual photo)
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The woman tells her husband that he doesn’t have a say in how she’s going to have a baby since he becomes an equal partner only after the baby is born
A 25-year-old woman, who is today’s OP, is 7 months pregnant with her first child. She’s expecting the baby with her 27-year-old husband. The story that drove this pregnant woman to become the OP happened mainly because of her husband’s stubbornness and his tendency to be a know-it-all.
The OP plans on giving birth in a hospital-based birth center. The birthing center is a place that provides a home-like environment for a more natural birth, with less medicine and monitoring. It is based on the belief that most women require minimal intervention when giving birth. Usually, a midwife leads the care or takes guidance from obstetricians when necessary. And since the OP, so far, had a very easy pregnancy, she chose this way of giving birth.
And so, when she was discussing her birth plan with a nurse, her husband kept interrupting or answering questions with his opinion. His idea for the birth included the woman being immediately hooked up to Pitocin in a hospital room and getting a C-section if it doesn’t speed things up fast enough.
Pitocin is a synthetic version of the hormone called oxytocin. This medicine is typically used to induce labor, as it stimulates the uterus and causes contractions during labor. It should be noted that Pitocin can cause contractions to be stronger and faster than naturally occurring ones, which can cause stress for the uterus (increased risk of uterine rupture) and the baby (for example, a change in heart rate). It can also increase the chances of needing a C-section.
So, before opting for this synthetic hormone, a birthing person should think about these side effects, and it’s best to consult about it with a medical professional. Still, Pitocin is considered to be a safe medicine and has been used for over 50 years.
Image credits: Vlada Karpovich (not the actual photo)
Pitocin usage was the exact opposite of what the OP wanted. So she stopped her husband by stating it was a conversation between her and her nurse — a patient (mom and the baby) and a medical professional. This made the man stop interrupting, but he was annoyed for the rest of the appointment.
After the appointment, he told his wife that he had to have a say about the birth because it was his baby, too. And the woman agreed that he has a say in how the baby will be raised, but this will be after the birth. Up until that time, the decisions are in her hands. After all, she’s a patient, and it’s a medical procedure. What he has to do now is support her and advocate for her if needed. Well, and watch their baby come into the world, of course.
This response did not please the husband. He called his wife selfish for saying all that. In his opinion, the pregnancy isn’t only about her and she isn’t a more important parent than he is. So, his response was to give his wife the silent treatment. That prompted the woman to come on Reddit to ask if it was OK for her to not let him have a say about the way she’ll give birth.
And most of the people in the comments were assuring her that it was OK. In fact, quite a lot of them were terrified of the husband’s point of view and even questioned his stance on other scenarios in life. At the same time, there were a few who were partially able to understand his stance — he wanted to take care of his child. Still, even these people acknowledged that the woman wasn’t wrong to say what she said. After all, it’s her body, so most of the weight of the decision is in her hands.
Most people online supported the women’s stance, but there were a few who were able to view the situation from the man’s point of view
