Whatever path of life we walk on, some ups and downs are inevitable, and the way we react to and deal with all of these things is different for everyone. But while most people know and understand this, there are some who simply can’t take it when someone’s reaction doesn’t meet their expectations.
A great example of this is a story that one Redditor recently shared online. The woman was approached by her husband, who told her that he loves someone else and wants a divorce. Yet, when the woman took it very calmly and agreed to his request, he was the one to flip out and start calling her names. Scroll down to read the full story!
More info: Reddit
Breakups and divorces are hard on all parties involved, but some people take it to whole different lows
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
A woman was served divorce papers by her husband, who wanted to marry his co-worker, and instead of fighting, she calmly agreed, packed up, and left
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
A couple of weeks later, the guy contacted his wife to complain about her underreaction, and when she told him that she takes time to process, he started throwing insults
Image credits: u/ThrowRACalmincrisis
During the hearing, the man learned that the wife hired her colleague to represent her and flipped out even more, fat-shaming her and accusing her of infidelity
Everything began about a month ago. The OP, a 26-year-old woman, was served divorce papers by her 27-year-old soon-to-be ex-husband, who told her that he was in love with his co-worker and wanted to marry her.
After learning this, she started packing and left not long after. Since she worked as a clerk at a law office, she also asked one of her colleagues to represent her in this tedious process and was soon ready to proceed with the divorce.
A couple of weeks later, the husband contacted the OP, livid about the woman moving out and, more importantly, about her not showing much of an emotional response or “fighting for him.” When she explained to him that she takes time to process things, he started throwing insults, calling her cold, unfeeling, and other things.
Things only got worse when, some days later, the soon-to-be ex-couple had their first hearing, and the man flipped out after seeing that the poster had chosen her colleague to represent her. He began accusing the wife of sleeping with her attorney, and when she denied the claims, he proceeded to further insult her, digging his hole even deeper.
The commenters were very supportive of the OP, complimenting her for her actions and bashing her husband for being a man-child. The poster was quite active with the responses, too, and she shared about how she grew her confidence and theorized that her soon-to-be ex was most likely jealous of her attorney for being everything that he’s not.
Image credits: Sora Shimazaki (not the actual photo)
Going through a divorce is rarely a pleasant process, and the OP did indeed handle the situation with a level of confidence that not many can boast of. And yet, when situations like this come, they don’t wait until you’re ready.
Fortunately, there are always people who can help, so to get some advice on how to better deal with divorces and what comes after, Bored Panda reached out to Vanessa Marie, who is a certified women’s life coach. She seeks to help her clients by “instilling a positive mindset and reprogramming subconscious beliefs to foster a holistic approach, empowering women in every facet of their lives.”
The expert began by explaining that a choice between divorce and trying to save your marriage rarely has a better option. According to her, it is often “more about what’s healthier for individuals in their unique situations.”
“If you find your self-worth diminishing and your safety and happiness compromised, it might be time to reevaluate,” said Vanessa, adding that, in the end, people should base their decision on their personal well-being and positive growth outside the marriage’s potential.
Depending on both people involved, the process can turn out just as calm and smooth as it can be chaotic and bumpy. However, if your partner acts similarly to the OP’s husband, the expert suggests to try and remember that the only behavior you can control is your own.
“The best approach is to stay calm and not engage so as not to get sucked into their negativity. Let your lawyers handle the legal aspects and focus on managing your own responses and emotions,” said the life coach, explaining that all the insults and hurtful actions usually come from a person’s own insecurities.
Image credits: RDNE Stock project (not the actual photo)
Of course, with the legal matters aside, one is still left to deal with the emotional stuff, which can be even more challenging. “To ease the process of going through a divorce and rebuild afterward, anchor yourself in self-worth and a mindset geared towards growth, not resentment,” advised Vanessa.
It is wise to seek the help of friends, family, or professionals, to surround yourself with a strong support network, and get emotional and practical guidance. At the same time, it’s crucial to set yourself on a good path for the future, focusing on new and exciting goals and keeping your energy focused on your growth.
But even when all is said and done, regret might not always be avoidable. “Navigating regret after a necessary divorce is challenging, yet this is why it’s so important to make each significant decision with confidence and thoughtful consideration,” explained the expert, adding that we should prioritize our long-term well-being. Therefore, even though it’s tough, facing the hardship of divorce is usually a more beneficial choice than enduring an unhappy marriage indefinitely.
Most endings usually seem neither happy nor pretty at the time of their occurrence. However, instead of throwing tantrums over them, like the OP’s husband, it’s good to remember that every ending is also the beginning of something new, and the sooner you make peace with it, the quicker you’ll recover and be able to continue your journey.
What did you think about this story? How would you have handled a partner like that? Tell us all about it in the comments below!
The commenters supported the woman, complimenting her for her confidence and bashing the husband for his child-like behavior
