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Daily Mirror
Daily Mirror
National
Jessica Taylor

Widow recalls husband's tender final moments as she held his hand at Dignitas clinic

A widow who travelled to the Dignitas clinic in Switzerland so her husband could end his own life has recalled holding his hand while he slipped away.

Novelist Amy Bloom met architect Brian Ameche when she was in her mid-50s and says she was attracted to his "warmth and energy."

Now 68, Amy told PEOPLE magazine Brian had a zest for life and was always up for trying out new things.

But she added that, over the years, she began to notice some unusual things about his behaviour that concerned her.

Brian repeated himself a lot and talked almost entirely about the past. In 2019, he was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease at just 67 years old.

She has penned the memoir after Brian asked her to write about it (Amazon)
Amy wants to open up the conversation about the end of life (Corbis via Getty Images)

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As soon as he was diagnosed, Brian made a decision to end life on his terms and "control his death" - and he asked Amy for her support.

In fact, Amy recalls in her new memoir, In Love, that just 48 hours after his diagnosis Brian had decided to explore assisted suicide options and "never wavered" after that.

Amy recalls how her husband had watched a close friend suffer with Alzheimer's and how she told him she'd be with him until the end if that was what he wanted.

But, in a "kind and clear" manner, he told her how he wanted to deal with his death - in his own way.

The couple, from the US, realised it would be tricky to carry out his wishes in their home country, where doctor assisted suicide for patients with more than six months to live is only legal in 10 states.

So Brian asked his wife to research options for him - and she did.

She also bought Snoopy stationery for her ailing husband, so he could write goodbye letters to his granddaughters.

Through her research, Amy discovered the assisted suicide clinic Dignitas in Switzerland. But by the time she found the clinic, Brian was already declining and he'd already started to forget the names of his granddaughters.

The pair were caught in a race against time to clear all of the clinic's hurdles before Brian lost the cognitive function to consent to his death.

But the pair finally got the go-ahead in January 2020 and travelled to Switzerland to end Brian's life. They packed disposable hand luggage bags for the flight so Amy wouldn't have to bring home her husband's suitcase without having him next to her.

The couple booked a four-day stay in Zurich before Brian was due to die on 30th January.

Amy recalled: "I very much wanted to make those days stand still. It was painful, and sad. There were moments of connection and moments of real distance because I could feel that he was really moving away."

During their stay, Amy and Brian ticked off restaurants and tourist sights they wanted to visit, and enjoyed pastries in a tea shop near their hotel - which Amy likened to "passing time before this monumental end of the world."

However, while she admits she was "working on being ready" to say goodbye to her husband, Amy says Brian was very much ready to die.

On the day of Brian's death, he and Amy travelled to an apartment where he was administered a lethal dose of a drug that sent him into a peaceful death.

Bloom writes in her book: "He falls asleep holding my hand. His breathing changes, and it's the last time I will hear him sleeping, breathing deeply and steadily, the way he has done lying beside me for almost 15 years."

She adds she could "feel him passing" and knows it was peaceful and how he wanted it to be.

When Amy travelled home, she wore Brian's wedding band on her forefinger in a beautiful tribute to her late husband.

She's writing about the experience at Brian's request, to get people talking about the end of life and the taboos surrounding the conversation.

Amy recalls a lovely memory she had with Brian as they walked past an elderly couple drinking lemonade in their front garden one afternoon - and raised their glasses as they strolled by.

She recalls they said: "That'll be us. Watching the world, having lemonade. Happy."

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