Think about the person you love. Maybe they are very different from you. You may be quiet, while they love talking to everyone. You may like making plans, while they just go with the flow. You may take things seriously, while they are always making jokes. And somehow, you still like them. This happens to many people. Sometimes, we are attracted to someone because they have qualities that we do not have. Their different nature can make them interesting and exciting. But there is something important to remember. Being different does not always mean that two people will have a good relationship.
Their differences can attract you
A quiet person may like someone who is very confident. A person who worries a lot may feel good around someone who stays calm. You may even feel that the other person brings something new into your life. This is one reason people talk about opposites attract in relationships.But being different is only one part of love. Both people still need to understand and respect each other.
You may like a quality you do not have
Sometimes, we like people because they have something we wish we had.For example, you may be shy, but the person you like can talk to anyone. You may be scared to try new things, while they are always ready to try something new. Being around them may help you become more confident. That can be nice. But you should never feel that you have to change your whole personality just to keep someone.
Stop chasing someone who does not make an effort
This is where many people get hurt. You always send the first message. You always make the plans. You wait for their replies. You keep hoping that one day they will start caring as much as you do. But love should not feel like a one-person job. A recent therapist discussion also explains that constantly chasing someone's attention can make people forget their own needs and ignore signs that the relationship is not equal.
Different is okay, disrespect is not
You do not have to be the same as your partner. Maybe you like different music. Maybe you have different hobbies. Maybe one of you loves going out and the other likes staying home. That is okay. But a healthy relationship needs some basic things. There should be respect, trust, honesty and care. If someone keeps hurting you, makes fun of you or does not care about your feelings, being "opposites" is not the problem.
Look at what they do
Instead of asking, "How can I make them love me?" Ask yourself, "Are they making an effort too?" Look at their actions.
Do they make time for you? Do they listen to you? Do they care when you are upset? Can you be yourself around them? These things tell you much more about a relationship than strong attraction alone. Finding the right partner does not mean finding someone exactly like you. It also does not mean finding someone who is completely different.
It means finding someone who respects you, cares about you and wants to make the relationship work. So, if the person you love is your total opposite, do not worry just because you are different. But if you are always the one chasing, waiting and trying, take a step back. Sometimes, stop chasing love does not mean giving up on love. It simply means knowing when to stop running after someone who is not running towards you.
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