As a 70-year-old involuntarily childless woman, I can only say that the chasm between mothers and childless woman has always been there – and it only gets wider as mothers become grandmothers. I find it beyond belief that women are told to “get over it”. Are women who suffer miscarriages given the same advice? My grief is always with me, and it is only in the last few years that I have not wept on Mother’s Day.
Nicola Slawson (The chasm between mothers and childless women is widening, 7 April) says that the real culprit is the patriarchy, but the truth is that I have found men more willing to talk to me about my childlessness. The sisterhood still seems to measure you on your status as a mother, not on your intrinsic value as a woman. Very few women have ever discussed my childlessness with me. Too often in life, the subject of grief and loss is avoided. However, everyone experiences it at some point. Maybe a little more empathy about this particular loss would not go amiss.
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