“Lazily riffing on recent question of the shortest-distance hat-trick. What is the longest? Surely a dead-ball specialist, maybe even a hat-trick of free-kicks?” tweets Rob Phillips.
Let’s start with a couple of brilliant effort at the Dell in the 1990s. In more innocent times, Matt Le Tissier scored a mesmeric hat-trick against Norwich in February 1990. With the caveat that we failed our GPS GCSE, we reckon the combined distance of his three goals was around 53 yards. And yes, that is Richard Keys on commentary.
In March 1995, Ronnie Rosenthal turned imminent defeat into glorious victory for Spurs in an FA Cup fifth-round replay at Southampton, coming off the bench to wallop a spectacular hat-trick. We’d estimate the total distance of Ronnie rockets at around 55 yards.
All three of Wayne Rooney’s goals against Fenerbahçe on his Manchester United debut came from outside the area – so that’s at least 54 yards, and probably closer to 62. More recent hat-tricks from Celtic’s Ryan Christie and Cardiff’s Harry Wilson were scored from approximately 63 and 70 yards respectively.
Next up, possibly the greatest hat-trick ever scored: Rivaldo’s astonishing skin-saver in June 2001. On the last day of the season, Barcelona and Valencia met at the Camp Nou knowing only one could qualify for the Champions League. Twice Rivaldo put Barcelona ahead from distance; twice Rubén Baraja equalised. Then, in the 89th minute, Rivaldo settled the argument with a mighty overhead kick. The first two goals were from an almost identical spot around 30 yards out; the third was from the edge of the area. That makes Rivaldo the clubhouse leader with a combined distance of roughly 75 yards.
In the original question, Rob mentioned players who have scored a hat-trick of free-kicks. We’ve covered this before, though we didn’t look into the cumulative distance of each hat-trick on that occasion. Here, with the aid of entirely inadequate, naked-eye distance-measuring system, is an estimate:
Ray McKinnon 69 yards
Marcus Assunção 73 yards
Kostas Frantzeskos 75 yards
Sinisa Mihajlovic 80 yards
Cristiano da Silva 84 yards
The last two are worth dwelling on. A few of you suggested Mihajlovic’s party piece for Lazio against Sampdoria. Here it is. But even he was a goalhanger in comparison to the next hat-trick. During his spell at Japanese club Kashiwa Reysol, Brazilian Cristiano da Silva attacking midfielder scored thrice against Vegalta Senda from what looks to be a combined distance of 84 yards.
Can anyone beat that? If so, drop us a line.
Small clubs on the big stage
“Penybont (third in the Cymru Premier) are playing FC Santa Coloma (third in the Andorran First Division) in the Europa Conference League,” writes John Bailey. “Who are the two ‘smallest’ (eg ground capacity/amateur status/honours) clubs to ever play a competitive international fixture? And who is the smallest, or least successful team to ever actually qualify for the group stages of a European competition?”
A rare two-part question is always welcome. Let’s start with part one, about the two “smallest” clubs to play a competitive international fixture. Size is in the eye of the beholder, so we’re going to use the convenient shorthand of attendances. According to Wikipedia, the aforementioned two-legged tie between Penybont and FC Santa Coloma was watched by a total of 1,773 people. Pretty small, but it barely registers on this particular minnow-o-meter.
“I like to follow the early rounds of Uefa competitions,” writes Jaime Ortega, “so I know that teams from San Marino often play against similarly small opposition. For example, Tre Fiori have played against these teams:
UE Sant Julia (Andorra), 2009-10 Champions League first qualifying round. Combined attendance: 1,364
Valletta (Malta), 2011-12 Champions League first qualifying round.
Combined attendance: 2,160Bala Town (Wales) 2018-19 Europa League preliminary round.
Combined attendance: 1,122Fola Esch (Luxembourg) 2022-23 Conference League first qualifying round.
Combined attendance: 1,285
San Marino's Tre Fiori have celebrated only their second European win against Luxembourg’s Fola Esch in the #UECL pic.twitter.com/a35OPC7ALR
— VBET News (@VBETnews) July 7, 2022
Thanks to Jaime’s steer, we found a tie with an even smaller combined attendance. In the preliminary round of the 2018-19 Europa League, the Faroese side B36 Tórshavn beat St Joseph’s of Gibraltar on penalties after two 1-1 draws. The drama was reportedly watched by 536 people, with around 200 at the first leg. Assuming those figures are correct – yes, yes, we know – that’s a combined attendance of 736. That’s the best we’ve got for now.
And so to part two, and the smallest team to reach the group stage of a European competition. Jaime and Martin Davies both nominated F91 Dudelange of Luxembourg. “They made the Europa League group stage twice in 2018-19 and 2019-20,” writes Martin. “They lost most of their games but did manage a draw with Real Betis and famously won 4-3 in Nicosia.”
Dudelange also had notable wins over Legia Warsaw and CFR Cluj in the qualifying rounds. Their attendances during those cup runs were between 737 (v FC Drita) and 7,983 (v Milan).
The TV’s on (your shirt)
There have been various clubs sponsored by bands over the years, but is this the first time a TV show has been a shirt sponsor? @TheKnowledge_GU @FootballCliches https://t.co/UtZzA4grti
— Ian Symes 🌹🇪🇺 (@ianiansymes) June 24, 2023
Taskmaster’s sponsorship of Chesham United means a welcome addition to the list of cult kits that will go eye-watering amounts of money only in 20 years’ time, but it’s not quite a first. Last season, for example, Hackney Wick FC were sponsored by the Netflix show Top Boy.
There was another case in the Netherlands in the late 1990s. “Between January and June 1997, Dutch team NEC Nijmegen were sponsored by ‘BNN’ (Barts News Network),” writes Dirk Mass. “BNN was a television program about the world of Dutch television, with a wink to CNN.” And here’s the proof.
Plenty of you got in touch, including Ian Williams, to point out that as part of an oh-so-90s sponsorship deal with L!VE TV, Millwall had “The Weather in Norwegian” emblazoned on their shirts. “The ‘show’ involved a 6’ tall, bikini-clad lady reading the weather … in Norwegian,” reports Ian.
Knowledge archive
“As someone who hates seeing players with 59, 88, 27 etc on their backs, when was the last time a team played with the shirt numbers of 1-11?” asked Stuart from Corby in 2020.
Denis Hurley writes: “Good timing from Stuart. On my blog I recently covered Mansfield Town beginning the new season with a starting 11 featuring the 1-11 on their squad list. Southampton underwent a big change in their numbering and for a period against Crystal Palace they had 10 of the 1-11 on the pitch. Number 20, Will Smallbone, was the exception, with 7 missing. But the fact that striker Shane Long wears 7 means a 1-11 will likely be elusive.
“The last two teams to wear 1-11 in the Premier League were West Brom in 2015 and Manchester United in 2008, but these were commemorative occasions for Jeff Astle and the Munich air disaster, respectively. The last instance of a Premier League team using the first 11 squad numbers was newly-promoted Charlton at the beginning of 1998-99 – 1-11 was still in force in the Football League at the time – and the last example of a team already in the Premier League doing so was Queens Park Rangers in early 1995-96.
“Incidentally, along with the England and Scotland national teams (apart from major finals), Dutch side Sparta Rotterdam are one of the few hold-outs against squad numbering, still opting to use 1-11 for each game.”
Can you help?
“When was the last time a team didn’t warm up before a game?” writes Neil Stacey. “I do recall that prior to the 1990s you never saw any of the players until five minutes before kick-off. So which team started this trend?”
“Last week, in his first game for Perth Glory, the goalkeeper Oli Sail scored an own goal after 66 seconds,” writes Rohan Back. “Has anyone scored a faster own goal on their debut?”
From the internet, Arsenal’s lineup could be ‘Ramsdale Holding White Rice’. Was there ever a lineup consisting of more than 5 players that when puts into a sentence, makes sense?
— Makoto Takami (@takamimakats) July 18, 2023
“Blackburn will meet Leicester in the Championship on 30 September,” writes Peter Skilton. “Both have been champions of England in the past 29 seasons. What’s the record for the shortest time between two teams being champions and then meeting in the second tier? The best I can find is Napoli v Juventus in Serie B in 2006-07; both had won Serie A in the previous 17 years. But I’m sure somebody can beat that.”
Has a fourth official ever signalled for 0 minutes of stoppage time?
— . (@hectorthebat) July 25, 2023
“At the start of July, Giorgi Moistrapishvili, the Georgian U21 international, scored the winning penalty in two different shootouts in the space of four days: one for his country at the European Championship, one for his club in the Super Cup. Is that a record?” asks Giorgi Pirtskhelani.
Mail us your questions or tweet @TheKnowledge_GU.
