Cumbernauld
In the 1996 essay Tierra del Fuego – New York, French cultural theorist Jean Baudrillard juxtaposes Ushuaïa with Manhattan. “After the ends of the earth, the centre of the earth,” he writes. “But each gives the impression of being on another planet.” The UK’s forgotten towns have an analogous relationship with its celebrated, over-touristed ones. They copy big-city retail concepts but fall short. They emulate tourist honeypots but can’t deliver the goods. Many lesser-loved places are botched simulacra of London, while also existing in opposition to it – for the capital’s prosperity is rooted in their broken dreams, dashed hopes, spent retail and extinct services. Scotland is the Tierra del Fuego of the UK and has many Ushuaïas. Ayr, Stranraer, Thurso and Montrose all qualify as “ends of the earth”. But Cumbernauld, more even than these, has found itself the butt of nasty jokes, snidey mock-prizes, and general putdowns for half a century.
