When you come out as gay, your family’s support makes all the difference

‘Now we live in a culture where film and television give textbook examples for parents in how to respond when their child comes out.’ The Channel 4 sitcom Big Boys. Photograph: Channel 4 / Matt Crockett

I was moved by Sam Dick’s article that detailed his coming out to his family and, in particular, the letter that his father wrote to the Guardian about their pride in and respect for him (A moment that changed me: I was 16, gay and bullied for it. Then my father wrote to the Guardian …, 5 March). Sam’s experiences were very familiar to me, in that they were a reminder of my brother coming out more than 20 years ago.

My brother is younger than me and, although our family home was a loving one, I guess that my brother will have viewed our dad and I as being very “male”. We both enjoyed our football, enjoyed socialising, and had groups of like-minded friends; my brother was the polar opposite. As a result, he was terrified of coming out.