Inspired by Anna Kendrick’s Netflix true-crime thriller Woman Of The Hour, one TikToker has prompted a global social media movement, where followers are sharing all the ways they’ve felt unsafe in the presence of a man – and what they do to protect themselves.
In the film, the real-life story of one woman’s encounter with America’s most notorious serial killer – Rodney Alcala – plays out for the whole of America to see on a 1978 episode of the popular seventies tv show, The Dating Game. During the clip, contestant Cheryl Bradshaw is shown selecting Alcala out of a concealed line up of three men, following a series of questions.
Although Alcala was chosen by Bradshaw as her pick of the bunch, as soon as the potential suitor was revealed, the contestant quickly changed her mind about following through with the date.
Real-life contestant coordinator Ellen Metzger revealed in an episode of 20/20, that she remembered Bradshaw asking the show’s producers if she had to go out with Alcala. “She said. ‘Ellen, I can’t go out with this guy. There’s weird vibes that are coming off of him. He’s very strange. I am not comfortable. Is that going to be a problem?”
“And of course,” she continued, “I said no.”
While Bradshaw narrowly avoided becoming one of Alcala’s victims in both real life, and in the fictionalised version depicted on Woman Of The Hour, viewers immediately identified with the familiar instinctual experience of feeling like something isn’t quite right.
It was this response that sparked creator Rachel Lovely to share a series of videos about she personally ‘stays safe’ when placed in threatening situations.
At present time, the TikTok has 1.6 million views and has received over 260,000 likes and 602 comments from people around the world sharing their own experiences.
Captioning her post “Please stay safe!!! Love the safety of my girls”, Rachel explains how Woman Of The Hour brought up certain thoughts she had about interacting with men in public.
“I also want to preface this by saying if someone really, really wants to set out to hurt me and that’s their primary goal, they absolutely will,” she says in the video. “These are just some things that I have utilised to try to either delay that from happening or get out of the situation in general.”
Lovely then goes on to outline various scenarios where she’s personally had to consider ways to protect herself, including being alone in a lift with a man.
“Making eye contact always makes me feel more in control of the situation,” she explains. “I never let the person stand fully behind me.” She states how she encourages the man to “go ahead” once she gets to her floor, suggesting she’s “forgotten something”.
“I’m not having this guy follow behind me,” she continues.
Lovely also suggests that if someone gets into the lift without pressing a floor number, to block the buttons with your body before directly asking the person what floor they’re going to. And, she continues, if the person happens to see your level lit up, press the button either above, or below and wait for them to get out on the floor they selected.
In a scenario many will be familiar with, Lovely also shares how she navigates situations with men who ask for her phone number, when she doesn’t feel comfortable giving it to them.
“When he asks for it, I will change my number by one digit,” she explains, adding that if the person is persistent with calling the number to “check”, she’ll give him her correct details, then immediately block the number when she walks away.
“Women are conditioned to be polite and accommodating, but your gut instinct is going to be screaming red alert,” she continues. “Your only job is to listen to that.”
Hundreds of viewers flocked to the comment section in agreeance with Lovely, sharing a range of responses that prove just how pervasive the threat (whether real, or perceived) to women’s safety is.
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This article originally appeared on Marie Claire Australia and is republished here with permission.
