What’s to fight over in the Aldi middle aisle this week – chainsaws or wicker chairs?

Aldi store in Sydney. ‘They must be providing products at an affordable price because you’d assume otherwise shoppers would simply go to a speciality retailer that permanently sells a much wider range of skiing equipment/televisions/children’s clothing/camping gear/motion-activated toilet bowl nightlights.’ Photograph: Bloomberg/Getty Images

This week millions of people in North America took to the streets to witness a total solar eclipse, a rare event that won’t be seen again until 2044. Some drove miles to experience the show, with people of all ages and backgrounds gathering to feel awe, fervour, delight. There is only one other phenomenon that brings people together in such a way: an Aldi Special Buy [™].

Rather than protective sunglasses, shoppers are better off arming themselves with helmets and shin pads, such is the excitement and panic of the Aldi middle aisle. I’ve always been fascinated by the middle aisle of this store because, unlike in the US, Australia doesn’t have the one-stop-shop culture of Walmart where you can pop in to buy milk and return home with everything under the (eclipsed) sun. Unlike a standard retailer, you never know what you’ll find in the mystifying and ever-changing Aldi middle aisle, which stocks … miscellaneous items.