We’ve often heard people say that men don’t understand women and the other way around. But sometimes, it can be difficult to relate to people of the same gender as well.
For instance, a Reddit thread explored the topic: things gay men don't understand about straight men. It all started when a user sparked a lively discussion by asking, "Gay men of Reddit, what’s something about straight men that doesn't make sense to you?" And the responses were both intriguing and eye-opening. Below, we’ve compiled some really impressive answers for you, Pandas.
#1
I really don't understand the, "I hate my wife trope."
thedean246:
I’ve worked with some older generations and most of them treat it the same way. They’ll sit there and complain about their wife and being married. I’m recently married and I’ve had several older dudes try to joke with me about it. Like… no. I actually love and enjoy my wife.
Image credits: SpartanJT6
#2
How certain things make you "gay" or less manly.
Quazakee:
One of my goals in life is to dress well enough that people think I'm gay.
Image credits: Dire-Dog
#3
Sports, they are just mind bogglingly boring to me, I’m what most people would consider a manly man gay/bi man and I still can’t imagine getting excited over them, UFC is slightly more entertaining but I still can’t be arsed to care about it.
Image credits: FemboyHooters-
As humans, we ought to make an effort to comprehend other perspectives since it enhances our social and personal interactions. When we accept and value different points of view, it fosters our own development and also helps us build more inclusive communities.
These posts reflect how straight men and gay men have their own unique views due to their distinct life experiences and societal expectations. In order to learn more, Bored Panda contacted one of the post's commentators, who agreed to share their opinions but requested anonymity.
#4
Wearing sunscreen. I offer people sunscreen when I’m going to be outside with them for more than an hour. A surprising number of people turn it down. Like, man, it’s free. You’re not too tough to get skin cancer, and you’re sure as sh*t not stronger than the sun.
Image credits: Sethrial
#5
I don't get how they can't grasp the idea of a woman being equal to them and not an object like a sportscar that they brag brag with.
Image credits: Michi181298
#6
I've had so many "straight" men try to get me to fool around with them that I believe if we didn't make such a big deal about s*x, more men would be at least bi.
Having said that, just because I am gay does not mean I want to fool around with every guy I see. I won't even consider s*x until a few dates in.
Image credits: Samisoy001
It’s quite common for women to have elaborate skincare routines, but here’s the thing: men don’t have 'magical’ skin; they also need to take care of their faces and bodies. The commentator believes, “It’s quite perplexing as to why straight men don’t prioritize grooming. We all want to look good, and that requires effort. You can’t expect your skin to glow if you don’t even have the time to apply sunscreen before going out.”
Expressing your emotions is definitely not a sign of weakness. “It’s okay to feel sad; it’s okay to say it out loud. It's all right to tell your family and friends you are going through a bad phase. While I understand how difficult it is to open up, you shouldn’t bottle up your feelings,” he adds.
#7
The ABSOLUTE hatred for tiny dogs, I swear to god it’s still a dog man just smaller, showing affection or walking a small animal does not make you gay.
Image credits: FemboyHooters-
#8
My male family members make fun of me for taking skincare seriously. Bro, you don't want nice skin?
HeartAttackMemeGuy:
I'm straight and my brother expects me to look like a frickin caveman or something? I put anything other than deodorant on me and they call me gay unironically.
Image credits: anon
#9
The overwhelming fear a lot of straight guys have of being thought of as gay. I had a friend that, while we did get along really well and he didn't mind my sexuality personally, felt like he couldn't be seen around me anymore. It was quite painful to lose the friendship in that way, and since then I've noticed how big that fear is for a lot of people.
Image credits: anon
When we are not able to speak our hearts out, our brain frequently enters a fight-or-flight response. The University of Kansas Health System points out, “This is a physical reaction to stress that sets off a chain of events throughout our bodies. It increases our heart rate, slows digestive functions, and makes us feel anxious or depressed.”
#10
Their denial of wanting nice things because they might not be “manly”.
I know straight men who flat out refuse to buy cocktails, because they’re “girly” and will straight up just order beer even though they’ve said they hate the taste.
Image credits: anon
#11
Their contempt for women. They mansplain to them, they troll their socials, criticize their looks, downplay or even oppose their views despite their validity, and they feel like you are owed sex just because she is nice or dresses sexy. And to always associate girly stuff with weakness.
Toxic masculinity is just so exhausting. Men live shorter lives not because women stress them out, it's because of toxic masculinity.
Image credits: YazzGawd
#12
I don’t understand why straight men don’t want gay men around. Gay men aren’t after women, so the more there are the less actual competition there is for the straight girls.
Image credits: anon
Speaking about dressing sense, he says, “In my opinion, straight men have a more utilitarian approach to fashion. They choose clothes for practical reasons and don’t experiment much. I believe they can do better than the classic white shirt and blue pants.”
#13
I have never and will never understand why so many (obviously not all) straight men obviously want to have s*x with women, but have issues with women who want s*x. Why on earth would you s**t-shame women for having or wanting s*x... if you want to have s*x with women? It’s a complete double standard that forces women to have to avoid being both a s**t and being frigid. Crazy to me.
#14
Why do they have to assert their masculinity every second with literally everybody? It must suck wanting to be silly and have some fun and be reminded all the time that you have to be an epic alpha male.
I know it's not every straight man but still.
Image credits: Chasm987
#15
If you're gonna brag about your s*x life you probably shouldn't get offended if I brag about mine. It's a double standard. If you don't want to hear about mine, consider keeping yours to yourself.
Lastly, the commentator also highlighted how men should not stick to the ‘traditional’ roles that society expects from them. “Learn cooking; clean the house by yourself. It’s confusing why men are not expected to learn basic life skills. I know many men do it now, but I have a few colleagues who absolutely refuse to do basic chores.”
#16
Why can’t you guys cry to one another?
Image credits: eab33305
#17
What's the obsession with buying trucks?
Image credits: Snarfsicle
#18
At the risk of sounding like a stereotypical shallow gay - so many men just aren't even trying when it comes to their appearance. So many are overweight (seriously, cut back on the beers and go for a jog). Dress sloppily, don't manicure their hair, look after their teeth and in some cases actually stink. Like it or not - your body is just as much a part of you as your personality. Women would probably find you more approachable or treat you with more value too and they aren't automatically gold diggers or "whores" just for finding a more attractive man more, well - attractive. Women actually have to try pretty hard to make themselves aesthetically "worth it" to both the opposite and same sex, I kinda feel men should be held to the same standard too. It's amazing how many cases I see of "hot wide married to average looki'n Joe" - men should be grateful that women generally aren't as physical-motivated as they are otherwise a lot less straight guys would be scoring without a skincare routine and some time at the gym.
Image credits: anon
#19
The anger.
Its definitely just the bias of my experience, but straight men tend to be angrily violent depending on the day/situation. Whether its getting frustrated at a video game, or its a bad day and i happen to be "acting" a little bit too effeminate and it catches their attention. But often times it ends with them lashing out and I've never met someone of a different persuasion than "straight male".
Image credits: ACalcifiedHeart
#20
A lot of straight men think gay guys want to have s*x with every male they encounter. Do they feel that way around females, so they just assume we do as well?
As a gay male, I just assume any other man I'm around probably *isn't* gay, so my thoughts never even go there. Maybe that's not an issue with females because the odds are more in their favor or something?
#21
I don't get why they always ask us if we secretly have a crush on them. Like duuuude are you that stupid...?
Image credits: anon
#22
Being friends with other guys for decades and never talking about their feelings....ever....unless you're hammered?
Are you guys just like, not interested in what your friends are thinking or feeling outside of shared activities like video games or sports?
Image credits: MaybeAlzheimers
#23
I've known too many straight men that just cannot think straight when a woman is involved.
Puppy love happens with gay men, sometimes with disastrous results since we don't all have the support of a loving family. So I understand that.
But the whole "Romeo & Juliet" / "the whole world is against us" mindset is just too prevalent with straight men.
No, everyone isn't "against" your girlfriend. She seems fine. But you're my friend. I want to hang out with you. Getting a new girlfriend shouldn't mean all your friendships die.
Image credits: 26_Charlie
#24
Why being gay is seen as the butt of jokes a lot of the time. Even people who claim they're not homophobic still tend to lean on "HAHA, YOU'RE *GAY* AND THAT'S *FUNNY*" as a go-to joke/insult. What's the punchline? Why is it seen as funny or insulting to be gay or considered gay by straight people who claim they have no problem with gay people? I must be missing something, clearly.
#25
The 'no homo' bit! Like if you really felt the need to add that, you probably need some introspection time.
Image credits: TheAmmiSquad
#26
The "I stay with my wife even tho my life is hell, just because we have kids" reasoning.
I get it. You don't want to harm your kid. But dear god if you and your wife scream at each other constantly anyways, I wonder what will be more damaging for your kid.
Throwing away probably 10+ years of your life is so stupid and don't get me started on how bitter these guys become. 2 of my work colleagues go through this now. Both say "I will move out in an heartbeat as soon as my kids are out of the house." Yeah... That's still 10 years away for you. And thats only when they move out the second they turn 18. What they won't. So add another 2 to 4 years on that. So you tell me, that your s****y mood will stay for the next decate, where you scream at colleagues because you made a mistake and they pointed it out to you? Nice one dude...
#27
Obligatory not gay, but I as a straight man have never understood the appeal of lesbian p*rn. I realize how strange it must be to hear that, but whenever I see two lesbians going at it, I feel like I'm intruding. I've just never understood why other straight people are so turned on by gay people. I mean from a biological perspective it's completely counterintuitive.
#28
I know not everyone does that, but not showing any feelings to try to look "manly".
Image credits: everynameisusedlol
#29
Don't get why they use gay as an insult but we can't use straight as an insult. I think both insults are childish but still. Pretty damn hypocritical...
#30
How they can act even gayer than us sometimes. Asked a straight friend of mine if j*ck-off circles were a real thing and they said
“Yeah, I’ve been in a Few.”
Like...yeah sure you’re straight.
#31
The norm of paying for every date rather than splitting the bill equally or occasionally doing it as a surprise act of love for them.
Image credits: yeeetstreet
#32
It’s my understanding that many straight men don’t wash their a**es because they think touching down there is gay; that many guys just let the water run down and hope that it does what needs to be done. Seriously? If so, that’s way gross. And just what do you think your sexual partners are encountering when they’re down in that neck of the woods?
#33
Why on earth would you let anyone influence your interest in feeling great during sex, even with a woman. You have a ton of pleasure nerves in your butt, why neglect it??
#34
The constantly touching each other for no reason. The guys at my job are always poking and grabbing at each other and giggling like crazy. I don’t get it. Like at all.
#35
I don’t understand the whole bass pro shop hat thing I see sometimes on tiktok. I get people who wear hats for a team but this is a weird part of masculinity to me.
#36
Not gay, but bi, I don’t understand the fear of seeming to be in a relationship with a girl because you are close friends. It makes no sense to me, I would think that most people would assume that two people walking together aren’t in a relationship as their first thought.
#37
The obsession with grass and lawns. Lifes too short for that b******t.
#38
Straight men seem to think they're not allowed to:
Be emotionally/physically vulnerable with their friends (crying to / holding hands w friends)
Put effort into their appearance/clothes
Cook??? Like healthy food???
Y'all what? I take a particularly bad s**t and I need a hug from my roommate to console me. It's healing. Are you guys okay?
#39
I am bi and a dog groomer but this still applies either way, straight men in general absolutely loathe poodles looking like poodles even if its their wifes dog. Its like it somehow detracts from how straight they are or something which imo has lead to the popularity of the stupid teddy bear style clip. If any straight guy is reading this then google german poodle breed clip its masculine, clean, utilitarian and if you pay for it then even if your wife hates it then its still an easy to clean style and its a bonafide official breed clip.
#40
How homophobic they can be... like... b***h you should be happy because your ugly a*s got less competition with the ladies (they ain't gonna choose you anyway tho).
#41
Assuming every relationship you enter is monogamous by default and then cheating. Why not just have an adult conversation early on? Also, do you know the ratio of mating events to births in our species?? Monogamy is just so unnatural for humans, but to each their own I guess.
