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The Guardian - UK
The Guardian - UK
Science
Dhruti Shah

What’s it like when your job involves wading through others’ suffering? I was left weeping and hopeless

Shocked woman looking at laptop screen
‘Sometimes the job meant exposure to pornography and graphic images of human remains’ (posed by model). Photograph: Jay Yuno/Getty Images

If I had been told that my dream career could end up affecting my mental health, I might have thought twice about pursuing it. Or perhaps I wouldn’t have. After all, trauma is not new in journalism – “if it bleeds, it leads” is the adage.

But while crime and war correspondents know the risks they run, I fell into covering harrowing stories accidentally. I spent more than a decade on and off in the BBC newsroom, mostly in the user-generated content (UGC) hub team, dealing directly with the audience – finding case studies and trends, and tackling disinformation early by verifying stories before they were broadcast. Sometimes it was the best job ever, when the stories we covered could change people’s lives. Other times, the job meant scouring through racist and xenophobic missives, and exposure to pornography and graphic images of human remains. I would weep and feel hopeless about the world we inhabit, as we found ourselves mapping the geographies of murder, deconstructing images of beheadings, or cross-referencing atrocities on social media videos and open-source intelligence from far-flung places.

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