It wouldn't take you long to come up with a list of cushy gigs to appeal to a bog-standard middle-aged man. Monica Bellucci's mirror holder would be up there. Sofa tester, perhaps.
But at the top of the list would surely be 'judge at the British Pie Awards'.
That's why, when he was invited to become a judge by the organisers of British Pie Week, this bog-standard middle-aged man bit their hands off. And why he found himself on a freezing cold railway platform at stupid o'clock in the morning on one of the coldest March days since records began.
