You might have noticed the influx of box fresh creps on the tube this January — if not, just look down because the gleaning stocking sneakers really are out in force.
But before you think, to shamelessly cite Miranda Priestly, “that you’ve made a choice that exempts you from the fashion industry,” in 2024 your trainers say a lot. Not only has the market boomed (the preloved sneaker business is worth a whopping £2.9bn a year alone, per eBay), but the signifiers attached to your each step are increasingly obvious.
Are you a Spurstowe Arms loving E1-ner or one of the more dowdy Marlborough College exports? Here is a scientific, absolutely not generalised, guide to what your trainers say about you:
New Balance 530s
Hugely popular Christmas day treat were the New Balance 530, better thought of as dad shoes or tourist trainers. Like Hackney and Battersea, consider the style gentrified by the blonde blow out set (and their well-to-do boyfriends). Often paired with vast, molting wool scarves, The Frankie Shop puffers and spotted under a heat lamp of The Royal Oak.
Golden Goose Super-Stars
I once met a girl who fired the family cleaner for polishing away the on-purpose scuff-effect dirt from her pair of Golden Gooses (geese?). This tells you all you need to know.
On Cloudflow 4s
A relative unknown a year ago, you now can’t open the door without being stepped on by a squishy On sole (net sales hit £1.57bn last year). Key culprits include sporty South London types who reside on the Northern line (alighting between Kennington and Balham) as well the 1% who still go to the Kings Road. Notable mentions also go to the Primrose Hill power pram pushers and corporate, Fintech daddies.
Loewe Flow Runners
One for the very smart art girls — the VIP opening of Frieze 2023 saw a barrage of Flow Runners (where they came paired with Birkins) and we can expect the same come October. They look best dressed with Row tailored suits somewhere between the Saatchi Yates and the Gagosian galleries, but are also often worn with oat milk latte-shade Zara sweats and Pret cups (best avoided).
Veja Esplars
Thankfully having arrived in darkest, wettest winter, we are subjected to the platypus-footed Veja far less. The Princess of Wales remains a loyal fan (see her rave girl summer, Houghton Festival look). So too do are some of her less cool fellow Old Marlburian London imports, not to mention a handful of the East London dwelling former Etonians. Good on anyone keeping the 2016 trend going, sustainability wise — but I expect it challenging to get picked up at the pub wearing these in 2024.
Nike Air Force 1s
The Switzerland of sneakers; you’re either an Air Force 1 person or not (something seemingly decided at birth) and no one can say anything. Committing saves you the cold-sweated panic of changing trainer tribes, but does make Nike in excess of $800 million a year. You have to pick between white or black carefully, as you’re stuck with the decision for life, and do be wary of spin-off collaborations. Any limited edition pair costing more than grand cannot be argued in favour of.
Vans Old Skools
Save for die hard fans (read: people who own skateboards) these have been quite off grid for the past half decade. By the end of last year (whisper it) they did start cropping up on select members of the fashion pack. Does this mean a Renaissance coming? Realistically, we are looking at 2025 for that. And I am, of course, only talking about the classic black and white variety. All black says West End backstage theatre crew; colourful pairs are plain kooky.
Adidas Gazelles
Just as your mother (and mother’s mother) bought a pair, driving the style to a knife's edge of the black bin, designer Grace Wales Bonner brought the retro-style kicks beloved by Freddie Mercury clattering back into 2024. Forget trying to find her sold-out leopard print or metallic silver guest-made versions, but send her thanks (I for one, am) for allowing everyone from Camden to Croydon to continue wearing theirs (feeling quietly confident) for a little while longer.
Axel Arigato Dice Lo Sneakers
After an unprecedented boom amongst the 23 to 28 year old, male heterosexual population of London, these are a must have for yuppie marketing, graphic, and sometimes even recruitment types. Can find new buyers grasping logo bags with new purchases proudly at The Blue Posts, next to Arigato's Soho outpost.
Salomon XT-6s
No longer the sole reserve of local hockey teams or Snowdonia types, you would be hard pushed to make it in and out of the De Beauvoir - Hackney Wick catchment area without spotting a pair cycling past you. Beloved by social media managers city wide, these are a ripe signifier of the @socks_house_meeting following, The Spurstowe Arms visiting bunch. Most likely to be coupled with Arc'teryx.
