A West Lothian mum has spoken of the heartbreak she is experiencing ahead of the first Christmas without her stillborn son who sadly passed away in October.
Cloe Murphy, 17, found out she was pregnant in February 2022 and was ecstatic to be a first-time mum as it was everything she ever wanted.
Her first baby was due in on September 28 and throughout the pregnancy, everything had been fine but when she went into the hospital for a check-up following contractions in October, she was left heartbroken when medics couldn't find a heartbeat.
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On October 9 tragically the teen found out that her baby boy had died and he was born a day later on October 10.
Sadly, Richard Murphy was stillborn and his mum who was dreaming of all the magical first experiences they would share together as a family has told of the distraught and grief she is filled with this festive season and wants to remind others going through difficult times that they are not alone.
After the unimaginable pain Cloe experienced at losing her first son, the 17-year-old has shared how important local support groups and charities such as Sands are when dealing with grief.
Speaking to Edinburgh Live Chloe said: "In February I found out I was pregnant really happy but nervous being a first-time mum and me being 16 at the time as time went on and I went to a midwife’s appointment I couldn’t have been happier finding out it was a boy.
"It's everything I always wanted everything was going fine went to my last midwife’s appointment on Thursday I heard the heartbeat and everything was great.
"Then I woke up on Sunday 9 at roughly half-four because of contractions.
"I tried to sleep it off and I later phoned St John’s at around midnight and they decided to get me in for a check so they tried to get my baby’s heartbeat and couldn’t find anything.
"I was so heartbroken to the point I didn’t know what to do and wish I could go back in time and do something about it."
With the special day coming up Cloe said: "I feel like the grinch I now hate Christmas I loved it as a child but now I just don’t want to celebrate it anymore but we do it for my little sister.
"It won’t ever be the same it’s so hard being the first Christmas but it’ll never get easier.
"We just decided to go and choose a teddy of Richard's to bring and we got pictures that were taken with my sister and the teddy so it still felt like Richard was there.
"His grave has been done up for Christmas with a tree and ornaments, we plan on doing this on Easter, Halloween, and so on for him but we still need help with the headstone and the costs."
She continued: "We are going to make it a tradition each year to buy a teddy for him as a present for his Christmas and put it up at his grave because every stillborn baby deserves to have one."
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The young mum has found solace in local support groups that allow her to speak to others who have been through the same experience.
She said: "Being able to talk to people I don’t know helps a lot more than anyone thinks it will and being able to talk to other people who are experiencing the same pain on some kind of level make you feel not alone."
Working through the grief, Cloe has done charity work and shared her story to help others in similar situations.
You can find support for topics mentioned in this article here. Cloe is still fundraising to pay for the headstone for her little boy which you can also donate to here.
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