It’s been a day of ebb and flow. England lost Zak Crawley for a duck and batted like snails for the first half of the day, but Alex Lees got his first decent go, Dan Lawrence produced his finest knock, and Joe Root, as usual, showed them all how it’s done – with a little help from a dropped catch. A top order that looked ropey a week ago now has some substance (Lees), some style (Crawley and Lawrence) and someone who oozes both (no need for his name). We’ll be back at 2pm GMT tomorrow to see if they can cash in. Thanks for your company, your correspondence and your stout defence of opening batters with a stout defence.
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Close: England 244-3 (Root 119)
89.5 overs: England 244-3 (Root 119) Holder had dished up a weary half-volley, which Lawrence cover-drove for four. The next ball was a better length, and he still off-drove it, on the up, for four more! Intoxicating stuff. And sure enough, he drove without due care and attention. So Jason Holder gets a late victory, but the day belongs to Joe Root, who just carried on where he left off in Antigua.
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Wicket! Lawrence c Brathwaite b Holder 91 (England 244-3)
Lawrence goes four, four... out! An uppish drive to cover, and that’s a simple catch for Brathwaite. What a shame: it would have been a terrific first Test hundred.
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89th over: England 236-2 (Root 119, Lawrence 83) Another over from Roach, another single to Lawrence. On the England balcony, even Jonny Bairstow has laid down his pen.
88th over: England 235-2 (Root 119, Lawrence 82) The day is ending as it began, with the runs trickling at about 1.5 an over. Holder keeps it tight, though Lawrence works a wristy single that takes him to a new Test best. He has moved through the gears: slow, quick, quicker still, slow.
87th over: England 233-2 (Root 118, Lawrence 81) The new ball brings Kemar Roach back. He’s as accurate as ever. but not threatening.
Here’s Em Jackson, reviewing the day. “Certainly more positive than my lateral-flow test being positive, is the fact that England have actually got over 200 for 2, even if West Indies are, with the greatest of respect to them, neither India nor Australia. I appreciate you can’t tell a wicket until both sides have batted and bowled, but if England are 350+ for 6 or fewer come sometime tomorrow then it’s looking good - and Root batting higher up the order (whether he likes it or not) will have worked.” Sorry to hear about the Covid, though that’s a neat way of telling a few people about it.
New ball!
86th over: England 232-2 (Root 117, Lawrence 81) And they do! The new ball comes out at last and is handed to Jason Holder. Bowling to Lawrence, he gets some shape away towards the slips, and some healthy bounce. Curtly Ambrose said earlier that this pitch was just as bad as the one in Antigua, but to my inexpert eye the carry is much better. Lawrence bides his time, then off-drives for four, not going at it too hard. He equals his Test best and brings up the 150 partnership – 152 off 249 balls. Slower than it was, but still very impressive.
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85th over: England 228-2 (Root 117, Lawrence 77) Seales continues in the evening sunshine, glistening intently. Can he take out his frustration on the batters? He can’t. Surely they’ll take the new ball now...
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84th over: England 226-2 (Root 116, Lawrence 76) Another tidy over from Permaul, just a single to Root.
83rd over: England 225-2 (Root 115, Lawrence 76) Still no new ball, and Lawrence is dropped! He flashed at Seales and the edge flew to Alzarri Joseph, chin high. He got a hand to it but was surprised by the pace – one fast bowler letting down another. Seales is furious, kicking the scorched turf.
“On Bairstow’s journaling,” says Andrew Benton, using a subject line never seen before in the whole history of email. “I’m sure the whole England team are writing out 10,0000 times, ‘I will not throw my wicket away’. So far, so hopeful.” It’s a Simpsons credit sequence waiting to happen.
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82nd over: England 221-2 (Root 115, Lawrence 72) Permaul continues! And concedes only a single. The rhythms of Test cricket remain a mystery. It’s 145 years old yet it behaves like a baby – wide awake one minute, fast asleep the next.
81st over: England 220-2 (Root 115, Lawrence 71) We have a new-ball bowler, Jayden Seales, but not as yet a new ball. As usual in this partnership, the greatest threat comes from the running between the wickets: Lawrence sets off for another silly one, Root sends him back, and he only survives because the throw, once again, is wayward.
80th over: England 219-2 (Root 115, Lawrence 70) Permaul bowls the last over before the new ball – presumably – and he too restricts Lawrence to a single.
79th over: England 218-2 (Root 115, Lawrence 69) Holder stays wide of off, maybe seventh stump. Lawrence tries to counter this by using the crease, dancing this way and that, but only collects a single. The run rate, which doubled from the morning to the afternoon and doubled again for the first half hour after tea, has now halved again, to three. What does it think it is, a pandemic?
78th over: England 217-2 (Root 115, Lawrence 68) Permaul has permission to bowl now, and doesn’t get mauled: just a single to each batter.
“Lots of grumbling, seemingly, over Lees,” says Rich in Swansea. “But surely he has one objective at the moment? Bat as long as you can and help build a base. So... tick! The issue is, if after 20-odd Tests he has a Dom Sibley average of 28-or-so, then it’s not enough. But surely Lees can’t be judged too soon on this? England weren’t 32-4 today which was a nice novelty.
“Separately... Jarrod Kimber on Talksport points out that of the last 12 centuries for England, Root has 8. That’s.... great... and worrying?” Point taken! In both cases.
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77th over: England 215-2 (Root 114, Lawrence 67) Jason Holder is bowling wide of off stump, in the Jacques Kallis tradition. “I do like this line from Holder,” says Mark Butcher. But so does Lawrence: he picks the right ball to ease through the covers, all timing, no force. He’s closing in on his Test best, 81 not out against New Zealand at Edgbaston last June.
The cameras find Jonny Bairstow, writing something on a pad, just as he was about half an hour ago. Has he taken up journalling?
76th over: England 211-2 (Root 114, Lawrence 63) For his next trick, Brathwaite wants to bring back Permaul – but he hasn’t been back on the field for long enough after going off for a bit. So Brathwaite is stuck with someone he doesn’t much fancy: himself. Root plays the reverse sweep again and gets hold of it this time. It goes skimming away for four like a pebble on the beach.
75th over: England 205-2 (Root 109, Lawrence 62) Roach is taking a break, as expected, so it’s down to Jason Holder to fill in before the new ball. Root pulls him for a single. Lawrence gets a nick – but the ball drops short of Alzarri Joseph at a wideish first slip.
74th over: England 204-2 (Root 108, Lawrence 62) Another over from Brathwaite, four runs from it. Root livens it up by playing a reverse sweep, for a single.
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“Just supposing,” says Anthony White. “Evening (S of France) monsieur Delisle or monsieur deLisle, with monsieurs Lees and Lawrence making determined efforts, monsieur Foakes a likely lad, if Mahmood and Matthew come up trumps (excuse the bad language) could we be at the threshold of an English cricketing renai, rennaiss, renn... rebirth?” Ha.
“In which case, do you and your comrades foresee commentary lessons where words like ‘collapse’, ‘jinx’, ‘not again!’ are not only forbidden but punishable with fines?
I admit to a faint optimistic streak, sometimes leave the car unlocked in supermarketer parks, send birthday cards to ex-wives ... but wouldn’t it be ...”
It would.
73rd over: England 200-2 (Root 107, Lawrence 59) More thrift from Roach, keeping Root quiet this time. Another maiden. “Kemar Roach,” says Sir Curtly, “as always, trying his hardest.”
And that’s drinks, known in these parts as “the Bluewaters drinks break”. Whatever you call it, England are still on top – so much so that you feel they must be about to collapse.
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72nd over: England 200-2 (Root 107, Lawrence 59) It’s back to spin as Kraigg Brathwaite turns to himself. He comes bearing gifts: a long hop, which Lawrence greets with a beautiful back-foot cover drive for four, to bring up the 200. The Barmy Army celebrate with a chant of “Barmy Army”, much like Public Image Ltd, back in the day, singing Public Image.
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71st over: England 195-2 (Root 106, Lawrence 55) West Indies desperately need to put the plug in. Roach answers the call, varying his pace and his position on the crease, and managing a maiden to Lawrence. But with the new ball due in nine overs’ time, Roach will have to come off in a minute.
70th over: England 195-2 (Root 106, Lawrence 55) In the whole of the morning session, there were 47 runs. Since tea, we’ve already had 59. This over from Seales is mostly milked for singles to the leg side, but somewhere along the way there’s a wide. Extras, miffed at being stuck on 0 for so long, have now come to the party.
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69th over: England 190-2 (Root 104, Lawrence 53) Permaul gets a breather at last as Kemar Roach returns. This makes no dent in the run rate: Root square-drives for three, Lawrence glides for two.
“Is this the first Test match in Barbados,” asks Andrew Benton, “since the country became a republic late last year, would you know?” It is.
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68th over: England 184-2 (Root 100, Lawrence 51) So far, the change of ball hasn’t made a great deal of difference. Root’s hundred, by the way, came off 199 balls – the first quarter of it painfully slow, the rest effortlessly quick.
A hundred to Root!
Yet another one. Root hooks Seales for a single to reach his 25th Test hundred and his second in a. row. He gets a hug from Lawrence and smiles that great big smile of his. You can smile and smile, it seems, and not be a villain.
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Fifty to Lawrence!
A swivel-pull for a single, and that is a fine fearless fifty by Dan Lawrence – the fourth, and the fastest, of his Test career, coming off only 62 balls.
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Hundred partnership!
67th over: England 181-2 (Root 99, Lawrence 49) Permaul is still on, which is fine by Root. He’s just been shown to be England’s best player of spin in Tests this century, averaging 67, and he shows why by milking Permaul for two twos and a single. The second two brings up the hundred partnership – 101 off 134 balls. After the first half of the day, it’s been astonishing.
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66th over: England 175-2 (Root 94, Lawrence 49) Root eases into the 90s thanks to a misfield from John Campbell at deep square, which is enjoyed rather too much by the thousands of England fans.
“Got to say, loving this,” says Pete Salmon. “In my other life I’ve spent most of the day watching the seven-hour epic German surrealist film Our Hitler: A Film from Germany (don’t ask, but it’s for something about Hegel, really don’t ask), which moves so slowly you can get up from the couch and have a pizza and the actors are still pausing... and slyly following this Test. Head full of Hegelian history - and Test cricket seems to be fitting. Since Our Shane passed, cricket seems to have ground to a wonderful halt. Everything happening very slowly, Australia v Pakistan, and this Test.
“it’s what we need I think, perhaps what humanity needs. A taking of stock. The dullest period of Test cricket was the 50s they reckon, a post-war drawing of breath. So let’s do this. Run rates of 2.2 for a year or two. Who’s in? Hegel would be.” I’ll take your word for it.
65th over: England 170-2 (Root 89, Lawrence 49) The keeper, Joshua Da Silva, makes three attempts at a catch, snaffles it in the end – and then finds the ump not interested because Lawrence has played and missed.
“Good evening Tim.” Evening Kim Thonger! “I like the phrase under the batsman’s name on your full scorecard, Yet to Bat,and suggest it be an annual award, like an MBE but better, to the Test cricketer most likely to lose their wicket without troubling the scorers. For example, in years gone by it might have been Phil Tufnell YtB. PS the link has your email address wrong.” Ah sorry, fixed now. We do pride ourselves on our typos at The Grauniad.
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64th over: England 165-2 (Root 87, Lawrence 45) When not running between the wickets, Lawrence has been superb today. Facing Joseph, he square-drives the first ball of the over for four, then, when third man has gone round to cover sweeper, late-cuts the next for four more. That second delivery turns out to be a no-ball, and so is the third – also a full toss, though Lawrence can only pat it to mid-on. A single or two, and then Joseph goes round the wicket – whereupon Lawrence steps across to the off side and pulls, imperiously, for four more. West Indians protest about the ball, and the umps take their point. That’s 15 off the over, which took about nine minutes.
With Lees at the crease, England made 80 for two off 45 overs. With Lawrence in his place, they’ve rattled up 89 off 19. But maybe one played a part in the other.
63rd over: England 153-2 (Root 87, Lawrence 36) Lawrence cuts Permaul’s slow left-arm for a couple. Permaul has bowled much better than in Antigua, yet he’s still gone for four an over in this spell (10-0-40-1).
62nd over: England 150-2 (Root 87, Lawrence 33) Even Root gets an edge once in a while. A lifter from Joseph doesn’t lift as much as expected, so Root gets a bottom edge. It goes between slip and keeper for four more. And then Lawrence takes another of those kamikaze runs of his, and for a moment both batters are at the non-striker’s end! But Root makes a dash and the fielder makes a hash. Root is in more danger from his partner than from the bowlers.
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61st over: England 144-2 (Root 82, Lawrence 32) Lawrence tries a shot from the Root Playbook – a late cut off Permaul. You can tell it’s a knock-off because there’s a hint of a top edge, but he gets away with it as the ball flies over slip for another four.
60th over: England 138-2 (Root 81, Lawrence 27) Alzarri Joseph replaces Bonner, who was just getting the token over before tea. Root plays a pull, Lawrence a push, both pick up a single.
Tea: England on top
59th over: England 136-2 (Root 80, Lawrence 26) A single to Root off Permaul and that’s tea, with England still on top. West Indies had one triumph in the session, when Permaul deceived Alex Lees, but they may have regretted it as Dan Lawrence came in and transformed the tempo. He’s been good, but Joe Root has been in a league of his own. Time for me to check on my M&S paella – see you in 15 minutes.
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58th over: England 135-2 (Root 79, Lawrence 26) It’s spin at both ends as Nkrumah Bonner comes on with his part-time leg-breaks. The batters calm down, as the kettle goes on for tea, and settle for three singles.
57th over: England 131-2 (Root 76, Lawrence 25) The runs are flowing now. Permaul drops short, Lawrence cuts with a flourish, that’s four and also the fifty partnership, rattled up off only 69 balls. It’s almost as if Alex Lees, when he was out, rolled the pitch up and took it with him.
56th over: England 126-2 (Root 76, Lawrence 20) Root works Holder to fine leg, running hard to get back for two, because he has plans for his next stroke: a gorgeous late cut, Root at his very Rootiest. “No fault of Jason Holder,” says Curtly Ambrose, “Joe Root is in sublime form.”
A six!
55th over: England 120-2 (Root 70, Lawrence 20) Root sweeps Permaul for four, well in front of square. “I see your majestic sweep,” says Lawrence, “and I raise you a dance down the track and a lofted on-drive for six.” Lovely stuff. But Permaul bites back, finding the edge outsisde off in classical fashion. Trouble is, the pitch is so slow that it doesn’t carry.
“Pedants’ corner,” warns Christian Miners. “Whilst citric acid gives a nice sour tang to sweet and savoury foods, the stuff that makes really sour sweets sour is malic acid. Like citric acid, it’s derived from some fruits.”
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54th over: England 109-2 (Root 65, Lawrence 14) Holder is himself again, conceding two singles, both on the leg side.
53rd over: England 107-2 (Root 64, Lawrence 13) Those back-to-back fours from Lawrence have done Charles Bannerman a big favour: Root has crashed from 68pc of his team’s runs to 60. On the plus side, England’s run rate has gone above two an over.
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52nd over: England 106-2 (Root 64, Lawrence 12) Correction: Holder has turned into Father Christmas. He hands over a half-volley, which Lawrences drives down the ground for four. And then another! More of an on-drive, same result. Then Lawrence nearly blows it by taking a most ill-advised single to mid-on. He makes it, just, but only by running straight down the pitch and ending up in an inelegant heap as John Campbell misses with a shy at the stumps. It’s all happening! Sorry Daniel.
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51st over: England 97-2 (Root 64, Lawrence 3) Dan Lawrence, learning from Alex Lees’ mistake, is getting well forward to Permaul - except when he drops short, and there’s a cut for two on offer.
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50th over: England 94-2 (Root 64, Lawrence 0) Seales gives way to Jason Holder, who’s been in his miserly mode today. Root gives him the first half of the over, then walks across his stumps and flicks to leg for two. If he carries on like this, Root will end up toppling Charles Bannerman from his perch after 145 years.
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49th over: England 92-2 (Root 62, Lawrence 0) Root is such a good sweeper, among other things. He goes hard at Permaul’s first ball, a dud outside leg stump, and smacks it for four. Then, knowing the next ball will be outside off, he reaches for it and sweeps more delicately for two more. He now has more than two-thirds of England’s runs. Do we feel a Bannerman coming on?
48th over: England 85-2 (Root 55, Lawrence 0) Root works Seales away for a couple and then swivel-pulls, handsomely, but only for a single. Scores on the doors so far: Root 55, The Rest 30. Extras, usually among England’s best performers, are still stuck on 0.
47th over: England 82-2 (Root 52, Lawrence 0) Permaul continues and there’s another comfy single for Root, followed by some watchful dots from Lawrence.
46th over: England 81-2 (Root 51, Lawrence 0) Jayden Seales returns and offers Dan Lawrence a long hop, which he can only cut to the man at backward point.
Alex Lees faced 138 balls and hit three of them for four. Chris Silverwood would approve.
45th over: England 80-2 (Root 50, Lawrence 0) So Permaul strikes for the first time in the series.
Wicket! Lees LBW b Permaul 30 (England 80-2)
The breakthrough! Lees goes back when he should be forward, plays a tuck to leg across the line, misses and is given. He thinks about a review but Joe Root says something to the effect of “Sorry, mate, that’s hitting middle”. Still, Lees has done his job – and made a career-best.
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Fifty to Root!
On comes Veerasammy Permaul, and Joe Root punches a single to reach his second successive fifty, and his 78th in Tests.
Thanks Daniel and affternoon everyone. Give that man a medal for covering half a day and only having 79 runs to describe. Still, England have accelerated since lunch – they’ve managed to hit 26 off the last nine overs.
44th over: England 79-1 (Lees 30, Root 49) Lees bumps a single to backward point, then Root guides another to fine leg. England are accumulating, slowly but nevertheless, and winning that toss might prove crucial on a ground where they’re routinely victimised.
“For my ninth birthday treat, my father took me to Newark to watch Gary Sobers line up for Notts against Somerset,” says Chris Harrison. “A friend of the family, Arthur Jepson, was standing as umpire. Dad was exhilarated and full of anticipation, telling me at length about the great Sobers, his 365*, and his varied bowling styles. But it was his batting we were there for. In the first innings the great man was caught behind, third ball, off Fred Rumsey for a duck. In the second, he scratched around for a few balls more and edged a four before falling LBW to Bill Alley. Unbelievably, 20 years later, Sir Garfield called my number, to talk with a Bajan friend who was staying with me in the Netherlands. I pulled his leg about having disappointed the nine-year-old me. “Never trust your heroes, son,” he chuckled. “Especially when they have to wear three sweaters in the middle of the summer.”
That is tremendous, and what a gent, too. Anyhow, that’s drinks and accordingly, my watch is over so here’s Tim de Lisle to guide you through the remainder of the day – thanks for your company and comments. Peace out.
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43rd over: England 77-1 (Lees 29, Root 48) Root flicks Joseph to midwicket, then the bowler puts in a short mid off for Lees; he goes to play a pull, thinks better of it, then forces to midwicket and runs one.
“Not cricket-related,” says John Daavis on the subject of near-misses, “but when I was at university about 20 years ago, my ex-flatmate texted to ask if I wanted to come and see his band supporting a young local band in the pub. He did warn me they had a silly name – which given that his band were called the New Black was saying something. I politely declined. Anyway, I finally got round to seeing the Arctic Monkeys in an arena a decade later.”
42nd over: England 75-1 (Lees 28, Root 47) Teeth-music time and rightly so – I’m surprised we didn’t enjoy any earlier. Root pulls Joseph for one, Lees does likewise, Root does so again, then Lees turns around the corner for two.
“Daniel, where do you get that sour sugar from?” wonders Phil Sawyer. “Asking for a sour-lipped, sweet-toothed friend. Or do you sit there brushing off individual cola bottles? Asking for a sour-lipped, sweet-toothed friend who’s a bit worried as to where this particular road might lead.”
It also retails as citric acid and shouldn’t be hard to find. But I buy from the greatest recreational eating shop in the world – formerly known as Kosher King and now called Kosher Kingdom – into which I plan to one day take myself hostage, refusing to release myself until I’ve tried everything. This is the one I get.
41st over: England 70-1 (Lees 25, Root 45) I think Pulp wrote a song about this session with – and as I type that can feel a riff coming on – about – and how meta is this? – brilliant riffs. Anyhow, Seales returns and Lees plays a rare drive to mid off, running two, this track about as threatening as Gordon the Gopher in a pair of rubber underpants; even England look safe on it. Of course, as I type that, Lees turns into a bumper, wearing it on the helmet, and there’ll be a break while he’s checked and sorts himself.
40th over: England 68-1 (Lees 23, Root 45) Lees is starting to enjoy himself – he looks way less frenetic than in Antigua – but will know he needs at least double what he’s got now to be any way satisfied, and he cuts Joseph for a single, then Root strokes a cover drive to the fence.
39th over: England 63-1 (Lees 22, Root 41) Root is every bit as bothered by the replacement sphere as you’d expect, turning Holder’s first delivery away for four through square leg. His second raps the pads and there’s an appeal, but it’s a matter of principle - that was outside the line and then some. Otherwise, here’s Dominic O’Reilly with more unlucky bowlers:
Martin Bicknell – even just as a ‘horses for courses’ bowler in certain English grounds; Bob Willis – after Botham did his back and so was carrying the attack for years; Tony Lock – for being the other spinner when Laker got 19 in a match and to be mocked forever more.”
I’m struggling to have Bicknell, but maybe I’m just scarred.
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38th over: England 59-1 (Lees 22, Root 37) Joseph replaces Roach and after four dots West Indies try the ball-trick ... and it works! It won’t pass through the ring, so a vanity case of alternatives is brought out and Joseph welcomes it to the match with one of the better deliveries we’ve seen, just outside off and lifting – Da Silva takes chest-high. Perhaps we’ll see some action now, though in the meantime it’s another maiden.
37th over: England 59-1 (Lees 22, Root 37) Root is finding the area between long leg and square leg to be his most likely avenue for scoring – that’s relatively unusual for him – and he directs Holder for two in that direction, then plays away five dots.
“Just looked up how many tests Gary Sobers played, and was amazed to find it was 93, writes Richard Hirst. “Given how good he was (my all-time favourite player) I would have expected him to have got more wickets – though I suppose playing with the likes of Wes Hall and Lance Gibbs reduced the opportunities.”
Especially on uncovered pitches. But his ability to bowl in different styles might’ve also worked against his overall tally, because he could be used as a stock bowler; if he’d played Joe Root’, he’d probably have managed about 10 matches before his body packed up.
36th over: England 57-1 (Lees 22, Root 35) Five dots from Roach, then a wide eon allows Leech to throw wrists, and he cuts four to backward point. West Indies need something here.
35th over: England 53-1 (Lees 18, Root 35) Another maiden to Holder.
“I was taken by my parents to see my very first cricket match at the Oval,” says Adrian Goldman. “As we entered the ground, a great sigh went up. I never did get to see Sobers bat in person…”
Any other stories of near misses? Here’s one about one of mine.
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34th over: England 53-1 (Lees 18, Root 35) In the 33 overs so far, there’ve been 11, a third. And oh no! Root flicks Roach fine, it’s there for Da Silva, who moves left, gets there ... and grasses it! This game! Roach goes down as if in prayer, and you can only feel for the wickie, who’ll be counting every run Root adds from now – the latest another twizzled around the corner as he meant to do to begin with. Eeesh.
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33rd over: England 53-1 (Lees 18, Root 35) This pitch is deader than death, and that’s another maiden to Holder.
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32nd over: England 52-1 (Lees 18, Root 33) Roach, level on 235 Test wickets with that great son of Barbados and arguably the greatest cricketer of all-time, Garfield Sobers, resumes. He sends down five dots, then Root guides two through cover; he’s in total control here, and a big score looks there for him.
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31st over: England 50-1 (Lees 18, Root 32) In the studio, Watford’s Steven Finn says the pitch will break up so he expects a result here; he’s also seen England bat. Root is finding the flick into the on side a useful strike rotator here, and the first ball after lunch goes to square leg for one, then Lees raises England’s fifty with two down the ground, his first scoring shot in 28 deliveries – as we said, he was determined not to get himself out this morning – and I think those are the first runs sent back past the bowler. On which point, do we think that shot is the most disrespectful a batter can play, effectively saying you’re trying to send the ball this way, so I’m going to make it do the opposite
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Our players are back with us; Jason Holder has the globule.
“Brasserie Balzar in Paris serve their dessert with Saint James Royal Ambre Rhum from Martinique,” enlightens Clément Bode ... Bistro Bofinger not sure. Alain Ducasse lets you choose. My choice would be Clément Rhum from Martinique, though I think I was named after Clement of Alexandria or Clement Attlee rather than Clément Rhum. Do they have a cricket team there? I would even watch pétanque if I had too.”
Extremely tangentially, the best film I saw last year was Clemency – check it out, you’ll not be disappointed. In particular, Aldis Hodge’s performance and eric Branco’s cinematography are revelatory.
“Are they really getting 30 overs bowled in two hours?” asks an incredulous Richard Hirst. “They deserve a bonus wicket, or a rum punch.”
A rum punch sounds like the name of a sneaky, borderline illegal blow. But yes, this is incredible stuff.
I’m going to nip off for a rest; see you again in half an hour or so.
30th over: England 47-1 (Lees 18, Root 31) I know I’m grousing about the pitch, but England’s batsmen will be thoroughly enjoying the slowness of this session – lovers of slapstick tragicomedy less so. West Indies have kept the scoring in-hand so won’t be too aggravated at taking just the one wicket, but will also know that they’re in for a long slog. One from over, Root turning to long leg, and that’s lunch; Alex Lees will be a very happy man.
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29th over: England 46-1 (Lees 16, Root 30) Root twizzles one to midwicket, which causes me to notice that almost all the runs have come between cover and square leg - there’s been almost nothing straight, which probably reflects the lack of juice in the pitch. It needs a Polish Butterfly, basically.
“Re: John Starbuck in the 22nd over,” says Nick Donovan. “Could it be Damoiseau from Guadeloupe? A very kind friend brought me back a lovely bottle of fiver-year-old Rhum Vieux from a holiday over there.”
28th over: England 45-1 (Lees 16, Root 29) Roach returns for a pre-lunch mooch and Root turns him away for one – the only run from the over. This is the turgid side of not turgid.
“Unlucky England bowlers,” begins Gareth Fitzgerald. “Finn and Onions are premier examples – I wonder if Toby Roland-Jones deserves a mention? Had an excellent start to his Test career and then the dreaded injuries.”
Yes, that’s right. I wondered how good he’d be overseas on unhelpful tracks, but there was something about his upright, repeatable action that reminded me of Glenn McGrath.
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27th over: England 44-1 (Lees 16, Root 28) Lees loses patience and tries to flat-bat one from Lees, top-edging but safe. Whenever I see an innings like this, I’m reminded of Andrew Strauss’ career saver in Napier, him constantly reminding himself, “Don’t give it away”. He doesn’t ducking under the kind of bouncer I daresay Root clatters to the fence; that’s another maiden.
26th over: England 44-1 (Lees 16, Root 28) Another maiden from Holder.
“The French variant of the rum baba, at least as served in the cheesy yet wonderful Brasserie Balzar in Paris,” says Adrian Armstrong, “is a high point in dessert history. The baba (au rhum) is a brioche-type slice liberally studded with dried fruit, the shape and very nearly the size of a house brick. It comes with a towering mound of crème Chantilly, plus a bottle of Martinique rum with which the staff allow you to soak the baba yourself. Hence as much or as little of a 45% golden rum as you wish. I assume they reckon the loss made in spirits is more than repaid by the return visits of satisfied customers. In my case they’re dead right.”
This seems to be something of a local trick. Shall I tell you mine? I’ve taken to sprinkling some of the sour sugar you get on astrobelts, cola bottles and similar – that is also abrasive enough to work as dishwasher salt – on a raspberry, lemon, ginger and treacle pudding I’ve got going on.
25th over: England 44-1 (Lees 16, Root 28) Seales has been the pick of the bowlers this morning, and he returns for Permaul, having switched ends. After three more dots, we cut to the balcony and see Crawley sat there in his civvies – he’ll be extremely unhappy with how he got out because he was in perfect position to leave, then for some reason tickled a ball nowhere near the stumps. Back in the middle, Root nurdles one into the leg side, the sole run from the over, and this pitch has a daddy for him etched all over it – if only it actually did, it might be offering the bowlers something.
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24th over: England 43-1 (Lees 16, Root 27) Already, this looks like a very useful toss to win – there aren’t many tracks on which England would get off to so devastating a start (by their standards). West Indies really need something from Holder, and he’s bowling with his usual economy, ploughing through his first maiden of the morning.
23rd over: England 43-1 (Lees 16, Root 27) Yeah, don’t bowl there old mate. Permaul tries a fuller one and Root is onto it so quickly, a big stride – he’s taller than you think, is the England skipper – creating a half-volley that he clatters flat through square leg.
22nd over: England 39-1 (Lees 16, Root 23) In comms Ian Bishop praises Lees’ knowledge of where his off peg is, and I’d expect him to do all he can to hang around ... though as I type that, he chases a wide one on the stretch, taking two to extra cover. He’s got to score somewhere, I guess.
“Re the Trou Normand,” says John Starbuck, “you’d expect that to be followed by a Normandy apple tart, so making the Calvados ( a village variety for preference) highly apposite. Back to rum, I once had, in the Bistro Bowfinger in Paris, a Rum Baba where they left the bottle on the table to augment the dessert as a diners’ option. Now that’s service, and we took full advantage. The bottle came from a French-flavoured Caribbean island too (St James, Martinique?) and I’ve never had it since. Any ideas, anyone?”
21st over: England 37-1 (Lees 14, Root 23) Gosh, there was indeed an edge there! But West Indies didn’t review, and how much might they regret that later on? Meantime, Lees sweeps a single, the only run from the over, and there are scores to be had for anyone with the mind to bat time here.
20th over: England 36-1 (Lees 13, Root 23) Jason Holder into the attack – perhaps his extra height will extract some pace and movement from a track that’s sadly duller than anticipated – and Root clips his fifth ball off the pads for two. The next delivery is a decent one too, drawing Root forward, and is there an edge through the gate ? Holder asks the question, but nothing doing.
“A this Mount Gay talk makes me want to offer a word in favour of Wray & Nephew,” emails Geoff Wignall, “if only because of once finding myself inveigled into their hospitality tent during a WI tour match at Bristol. One of the best memories of which I have almost no memory. Although 63% ABV does stick in my mind.”
That’s a decent quantity, and reminds me of the Polish Butterfly, served with a pint of water to assuage the throat-burn and the specialty of Jerusalem’s Tavern Pub. I think the record is seven and a half which tells you plenty, the person who holds it celebrating making a mess of his A-levels, which does too.
19th over: England 34-1 (Lees 13, Root 21) Root takes Permaul’s first ball for one through square leg, then Lees eases his last for two to the same area.
“15 overs discussing booze and not a word about Purim!?” chastises Zack Dzialowski and rightly so. Only 4 hours to go till the fast ends and the action begins! Desperately trying to think of any Purim cricket jokes or Megillah references...”
For the uninitiated,Purim is the Jewish festival which starts tonight, and during which we are commanded to get so hammered. The actual line in Talmud says the requisite standard of refreshment is “Until he doesn’t know”, which is a beautiful expression.
18th over: England 30-1 (Lees 11, Root 20) Root pulls Joseph to square leg for another single, then Lees defends the two remaining balls solidly. He’s got a start - can he go on?
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17th over: England 30-1 (Lees 11, Root 19) Permaul continues and Root takes a single to square leg, the only run from the over.
“Here’s an unlikely one I was introduced to some years ago,” says Barnaby Jeffries. “Vanilla ice cream, scotch whisky, crushed black pepper. Don’t know if it has a name, but it works.”
That is not uninteresting to me, and I’ll be trying the pepper and vanilla, but with my scotch in a tumbler. On which point, I’m currently enjoying a South Star speyside, a new bottle that I strongly recommend.
16th over: England 29-1 (Lees 11, Root 18) England are nicely settled now, Root taking one to square leg while, in comms, Curtly says West Indies need to get better at preparing Test wickets because this is another that’s too slow. One off the over, and that’s drinks; I fear this may be another match for the purists.
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15th over: England 28-1 (Lees 11, Root 17) Five more dots from Permaul, then Root tries a sweep that he doesn’t execute properly but which gets him one nonetheless.
14th over: England 27-1 (Lees 11, Root 16) Joseph has two slips and two gullies for Root, who under-edges a pull for a single; when Lees comes down the strikers’, that changes to three slips and gully. One off the over.
“In France we have what you could call a halfway house,” says Richard Hirst. “The ‘trou Normand’ is a palate cleanser between the main course and dessert, consisting of a sorbet soaked in Calvados.”
That too sounds alright – every day’s a school day - but again, I’m still thinking constituent parts better alone.
13th over: England 26-1 (Lees 11, Root 15) Permaul, who had a tough time in Antigua, is into the attack and I’m sure he’s glad to have Lees on strike – Root is so deft against better spinners in more helpful conditions. He opens with a maiden, pushing Lees back with decent air and length.
12th over: England 26-1 (Lees 11, Root 15) Josephs’ first over was the most expensive of the morning, and though he delivers five dots this time around, he concedes four when Root goes hard at a wide one, sending a thick edge over cover point for four.
“Could it be the Three Compasses?” wonders Charles Sheldrick of Julian Menz’s pub. Gosh, it’s a real cliffhanger this one; just chill to the next episode, as Snoop and Dre once mused.
11th over: England 22-1 (Lees 11, Root 11) Roach is still trying to get Lees with the ball moving away, and when he tries a straighter one, the batter looks awkward coming around his pad to put half a bat on it before missing the final ball of the over outside off. Another maiden.
“While I tend to agree with you about the booze in desserts thing,” emails John Foster, “there is one massive exception – the sgroppino. Now some purists will tell you that this should really be served as cocktail with all sorts of bits, but they’d be wrong. At its best, it’s simply a couple of blobs of lemon sorbet served with a shot of vodka to pour over the top. Truly the David Gower of desserts – effortlessly simple, perfectly balanced, achingly elegant, with a roguish twinkle in its eye. (And, much like David, has a tendency to make my mum strangely weak in the knees).”
I quite like the sound of this one, but still think I’d prefer the shot on its bill followed by the sorbet on its bill – or vice-versa.
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10th over: England 22-1 (Lees 11, Root 11) Alzarri Joseph takes over from Seales and Root turns his loosener into the on side for two, then after three dots Root chases a wide one and rightly so – that deserved treatment and treatment is duly meted out, a four caressed through point.
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9th over: England 16-1 (Lees 11, Root 5) Nice from Lees, getting forward, waiting for Roach, and guiding four through cover, head right over the ball. For some reason, whoever’s on the PA let’s go the IPL noise klaxon affair, so to restore cosmic balance, here’s a classic Bajan tune to bless your cochleas.
8th over: England 12-1 (Lees 7, Root 5) Another maiden for Seales, who has three from four and is causing the batters more problems than Roach for now.
“Crepe Suzette? Chocolate Gateaux doused in brandy? Are you actually off your chunk?” wonders Nick Lewis. (I’d politely suggest someone who doesn’t like coffee or fruit might refrain from making totalitarian announcements on people’s pudding arrangements). Anyway, going back a tad - handsome devils World XI. Broady and Jimmy have to take the new conker don’t they?”
REVIEW! NOT OUT!
Yup, that was high and comfortably so. Well done Nigel Duguid, who’s standing in his first Test.
8th over: England 12-1 (Lees 7, Root 5) Seales hits Root’s pad with his first ball and there’s a strangulated appeal, then he raps it with his third and there’s a loud appeal. Not out, says the umpire, and West Indies review. It’s a good shout too, but maybe a little high...
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7th over: England 12-1 (Lees 7, Root 5) I wonder if Roach might just go a little straighter. He’s sent down two maidens in his four overs so far - this one is the second - but he’s not making the batters plat often enough, i don’t think.
“I’ve probably tasted Mount Gay, as I used to nip in to the pub on the corner of Ridley Road market opposite Dalston station,” says Julian Menz. “I’m living abroad now, I forget the pub’s name and haven’t been there for years, but it was the haunt of Caribbean folk of the older generation, always had great music, and a top assortment of rum. Maybe a reader or two might know the name of the pub/whether it’s still there?”
6th over: England 12-1 (Lees 7, Root 5) Having retained strike, Root gets right over a wide, bouncy one, hauling a hook to the square-leg fence for four. As Butcher notes, it’s a shot reminiscent of the Gaffer, who made a ton in each innings of the 1994 Bridgetown Test.
“How about jelly made with the vodka, the student party dessert of tradition,” wonders Robin Hazlehurst. “Had the advantage that you didn’t need to bother eating a main course before it. Arguable whether the jelly was improved by the vodka, but the mood of those eating it generally was. Rather suspect England’s openers should have some before going out to face, it could hardly make them play worse...”
My favourite equivalent is the Jamie Vardy favourite of Skittles voddy – it mixes beautifully with champagne (provided you’re not operating heavy machinery or a live cricket blog).
5th over: England 8-1 (Lees 7, Root 1) Lees is on middle-and-off, reckons Mark Butcher in commentary, after his leg before situation at Antigua, and he eases two through cover, then clips to deep backward square for one – he looks much more comfortable out there not having to come around his pad. Root then takes a single to cover, and that’s him away too.
4th over: England 4-1 (Lees 4, Root 0) It really doesn’t matter where Root bats because he’s more or less the opener he was when he first broke into the side at three or at four. Seales is bowling a really testing line here, just outside off with some movement, beating Root with one that leaves him, and that’s an excellent wicket-maiden.
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WICKET! Crawley c Da Silva b Seales 0 (England 4-1)
Goodness me, I fear for inanimate dressing-room objects. A bit of away-swing and Crawley can’t get bat out the road of a delivery that’s way wider than he thinks it is, bunting a catch that Da Silva swallows nicely. He remains a feast or famine player.
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3rd over: England 4-0 (Lees 4, Crawley 0) Roach is warm now, Lees seeing away an effort-ball released with a grunt. Lees then turns away one on the pads which runs down to long leg for four, setting him and England away.
“tiramisu. That’s the only one....” tweets Pat McGinley, but Jo Pridmore is more forthright. “Are you mad??!” she wonders. “What about tiramisu, sherry trifle or rum baba? Some of the best desserts EVER!”
I’m afraid I don’t enjoy coffee or fruit, which puts me at a disadvantage here.
2nd over: England 0-0 (Lees 0, Crawley 0) I like the look of Jayden Seals, he’ll be delighted to learn, and he takes the new meteorite from the other end. He sends down another maiden, also finding movement away, but again, Crawley only has to play as a couple of balls.
“I see your Graham Onions, and raise you a Steven Finn,” says David Horn. “Onions was a lovely bowler to watch and, to be sure, mightily unlucky with injuries. But Finn .. dropped when his strike rate hovered just above 40 because his runs per over was too high, and then systematically undermined by the brains trust. His treatment beggars belief. He’d be a handful today, even on this pitch.”
Agreed. The Graeme Smith stump-hitting thing was the biggest factor in his career, I think – he was bowling beautifully at the time, and never quite recovered. He is, though, also handsome and really good at broadcasting.
1st over: England 0-0 (Lees 0, Crawley 0) There’s decent movement for Roach first up, but Lees only has to play at two deliveries. Still, he’ll be worried about a succession of deliveries moving away before the one that comes in and nails his pad.
Kemar Roach has the ball, he’ll start from around to the lefty Lees, and play...
The players are with us, and lees will face...
“Totally agree that Mount Gay is special,” emails John Starbuck - it’s great that we’re onto the important stuff from the off, setting our stall out for the crucial first hour. “We wouldn’t have anything other than this in the house, except for Navy varieties for culinary reasons, since that peps up chocolate dishes no end. Come to think of it, I’ve just finished lunch so it’s time for a top-up of the golden stuff.”
Spirits and a day in the sun present an interesting challenge – I’m a fizz all day spectator. However I must take serious issue with the chocolate situation – I’ll probably get myself cancelled for saying this, but I’ve yet to come across a dessert improved by the insertion of booze. A taste on the side, absolutely – the dessert wine is a reliable friend to sneak in something extra when one’s partner is tiring of one’s tremendous patter – but in the actual affair? Not in mine.
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“I’ve always thought it rather shallow of me to prefer it when Everton players were handsome devils,” says Nick Lewis on Woakes. “Good to know I’m not alone in this.”
Not at all. I grew up with Bryan Robson, Lee Sharpe and Eric Cantona, and am currently taking solace in Raphaël Varane and Edinson Cavani.
It’s a shame for Craig Overton that’s he’s ill, but I’m much keener to see Fisher than to see him again. I’d always give someone making their way in Tests a decent run before drawing any conclusions, but though his batting and slippering are helpful, it’s hard to see him bowling a side out, and England aren’t currently good enough to carry a Bresnan equivalent, l’havdil.
Ali Martin returns: “Make it Lord’s 2009 versus West Indies the last time England fielded two debutant seamers in the attack – Tim Bresnan and Graham Onions.”
Onions has got to be the unluckiest England bowler of recent times. Any other era, he gets way more Tests than he did.
Our teams
West Indies: 1 Kraigg Brathwaite (capt), 2 John Campbell, 3 Shamarh Brooks, 4 Nkrumah Bonner, 5 Jermaine Blackwood, 6 Jason Holder, 7 Joshua da Silva (wk), 8 Alzarri Joseph, 9 Kemar Roach, 10 Veerasammy Permaul, 11 Jayden Seales.
England: 1 Alex Lees, 2 Zak Crawley, 3 Joe Root (capt), 4 Dan Lawrence, 5 Ben Stokes, 6 Jonny Bairstow, 7 Ben Foakes (wk), 8 Chris Woakes, 9 Matthew Fisher, 10 Saqib Mahmood, 11 Jack Leach.
“Mount Gay is wonderful stuff,” returns Charles Sheldrick, “but at those prices I can’t help but wonder if that could that be the reason North Devon’s finest was ‘taken ill’? A touch of the Jeffrey Bernards?”
It’s an absolute minefield of a track, it really is.
“Big, big Test for Chris Woakes here,” says Kevin Wilson. “Yes, the selection has been poor, but he really has to step up here and support the two debutants. He can’t have an off-day. With the injuries to Wood and Robinson not returning as expected, I’m amazed they didn’t ask the groundsman to turn this into Sabina Park 1998.”
Agree. If I’m honest, my mind’s made up on Woakes overseas – I was really surprised that he made the tour. But as we know, he can be good, bats and fields well, and is both nice and handsome. A heady mix, ultimately.
More on that great Test in Karachi.
Kraigg Brathwaite would’ve batted, but says there’ll be moisture early doors and his bowlers will hope to take advantage. West Indies are unchanged.
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Joe Root talks about how impressive Mahmood and Fisher are, saying it’s a great opportunity for him to show how good he is.
England win the toss and will bat
It looks a decent track, but this is England.
“Afternoon Daniel,” begins Charles Sheldrick. “Your picture of the brains trust makes it look like a perfect day for cricket.” Here’s another from my correspondent.
Pitch report from my correspondent in Barbados:
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I’m looking forward to seeing how Fisher and Saqib Mahmood, also making his England debut do. But it makes the decision to leave Broad and Anderson at home look even more ... er ... avant-garde.
Matthew Fisher makes his England debut after Craig Overton is taken ill overnight
Breaking news from Ali Martin, our cricket correspondent.
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Before we get going on this Test, an absolute monster has just finished in Karachi, Pakistan and Australia playing out a jazzer of a draw. Babar Azam was out not long before stumps on 196 having played one of the best innings we’ll see this year and Mohammad Rizwan completed a brilliant ton of his own just after that.
Preamble
Morning everyone. Once upon a time, a project was something you did in primary school – sugar, Richard III and Jack the Ripper (Sir William Gull imo) over here – involving ring binders, hole reinforcers and, if you were posh, Caran d’Ache coloured pencils.
Nowadays, though, that’s all changed: “project” is modern slang for “trying to be good at sport”, and England’s Test set-up has just been set a new one. For reasons known to their teachers alone, the players have been challenged to do this without the trusty old staples of pen and paper, the Branderson of this tortured analogy. And believe you me that’s not a threat it’s a promise, it’s your own time your wasting, and someone in their class was once swinging on their chair, then fell off and broke their soul.
Anyway, they just about got away with it at Antigua, and it’s fair to assume that, having acclimatised, they’ll be better in Barbados. West Indies, though, will expect to win here having reassured themselves that England are every bit as unreliable and ordinary as they thought they were. So eyes down for what should be a terrific five days.
Play: 10am local, 2pm GMT
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