Ali Martin's day four report
Summing up
So this Test has been a long old slog, frustratingly lacking in actual long slogs (Ben Stokes apart), but we may yet have a tasty finish tomorrow. England have a lead from which they could conceivably carve out a competitive target for West Indies, but conditions, the pitch and captains’ fear of defeat make the draw still the likelier result. The players must be knackered too, but you never know with Test cricket. And here’s hoping for a bit of adventure and unpredictability. Thanks for reading and commenting – now run away and enjoy the rest of your weekends. Bye.
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Saqib Mahmood speaks on the day of his first Test wickets: “It was a long couple of days in the dirt – my first red-ball game since December, so I was glad to get off the field today. I was pretty gutted yesterday [when he was denied a first wicket by a no-ball] at the time thought I’d let myself down and let the boys down.” As for his actual first wicket, of Holder today, “it sort of came out of nowhere from Jase [Holder] and a great catch from Fish. It was just a feeling of relief more than anything after what happened last night.
“Reverse swing came in to play and it’s quite slow so it’s hard to bring edges into play. So I tried to stay disciplined for those fifth and sixth spells – it was a great effort from everyone to bowl them out. We’ll be discussing how we’re going to play it later, but we’re going to have another crack at the tomorrow. I’m a bit sore but these are the days you play for, in Test cricket.”
Stumps: Bad light stops play with England 40-0, 136 ahead
The umpires are having a look at the light, as dusk envelops the ground. Umpire Wilson says it’s too dark for pace, and then they decide it’s too dark for anything. That’s that for the day.
But what a day – nay, week – it has been for round-the-clock sportwatching, and England’s women are starting their crucial World Cup match against New Zealand soon. You can follow it all here:
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15th over: England 40-0 (Lees 18, Crawley 21). Holder replaces Seales at the other end, and tests Lees with his swing-tinged accuracy from around the wicket. But the Durham man is equal to it, playing out a maiden.
14th over: England 40-0 (Lees 18, Crawley 21). Brathwaite replaces Permaul with himself and his off-breaks. The England openers rotate the strike at will. England lead by 136. This match could yet get interesting. Admittedly I’m making the word “yet” put an arduous shift in there.
13th over: England 35-0 (Lees 14, Crawley 20). The lesser-spotted pull shot is produced by Crawley, clobbering Seales to deep midwicket where Blackwood fields smartly and energetically on the boundary to cut out the four. Another single gives Seales a go at Lees, who pulls a short one away for another. Crawley then clips England past 30. Better still, he larrups the final ball of the over in front of square on the legside for a rare and welcome boundary.
12th over: England 25-0 (Lees 13, Crawley 11). Permaul’s sixth over on the spin still induces the odd bout of uncertainty from Lees, but he’s getting a little more confident. Without adding any more runs to his total.
11th over: England 24-0 (Lees 13, Crawley 10). Yet more dot balls in an unremarkable over from Seales, which prompts an unremarkable response from Crawley. One from the final ball of the over.
“Evening from Manchester clubland,” brags Guy Hornsby, “where I’m following the cricket because it’s objectively less depressing than the rugby. I’m actually pretty glass half full here. We’ve stuck at it, have a lead and will surely want to try and attack a target. Hope for the future.”
10th over: England 23-0 (Lees 13, Crawley 9). Lees slices one away square on the offside for one and Crawley finds some width to crack another one square for another single. On we meander.
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9th over: England 21-0 (Lees 12, Crawley 8). Seales replaces Roach from the Joel Garner End. When he gets his line right, he’s a menace with the new ball, and there’s not much Crawley is able to do until his fifth ball, which is wide down legside and Crawley tickles it on its way down to the boundary. England lead by 117
8th over: England 16-0 (Lees 11, Crawley 4). Permaul continues to find bounce and turn, though the odd short one concedes easy singles. Lees is well beaten with the last ball of the over, driving at one that spins in at him outside off, and it careers between bat and pad and under the keeper too for a bye. A risky shot.
7th over: England 13-0 (Lees 10, Crawley 3). Roach, round the wicket at Lees, offers some rare width on the offside, and the batter takes advantage, crunching an emphatic square drive for four. These openers beginning to look a bit more comfortable.
“Can we call this match off a day early and play an ODI tomorrow instead,” wonders Matthew Lawreson, “I know these guys aren’t who the selectors would pick for a List A game, but it can’t be worse than this, surely?” Thing is, such is the beauty of Test cricket that it wouldn’t take much tomorrow – a quickfire Stokes or Bairstow 50, a few quick West Indies second wickets – for this Test to suddenly become Really Gripping, prompting thousands of social media postings serenading the superior majesty of the five-day game. And not all of them would be by me.
6th over: England 8-0 (Lees 5, Crawley 3). Permaul continues, a bit more loosely, and some handy strike-rotating ones and twos ensue.
5th over: England 3-0 (Lees 1, Crawley 2). Roach is searingly accurate – he’s got such a smooth, classy rhythm to his action – and there’s not a lot Crawley can do. It’s no surprise that Roach raps him on the pad with the last ball of the over. He’s given out, but it’s overturned. Excellent over, but no cigar.
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Review: Crawley lbw decision overturned
Crawley reviews. His best hope is that it’s going down leg, which it is. An escape and umpire Duguid has a decision overturned again
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4th over: England 3-0 (Lees 1, Crawley 2). Lees gets off the mark, pulling a short ball from Permaul to midwicket for a single, and Crawley sweeps for another. The spinner continues to confound Lees outside off-stump, with variable pace and bounce in that area. Some encouragement for West Indies, and perhaps for England too if their batters can get a wriggle on.
3rd over: England 1-0 (Lees 0, Crawley 1). I gather they’re aiming for another 14 overs today, light permitting, but they may struggle to get through those. Crawley is watchful against Roach, playing out a maiden. Perhaps he should have more of a go, but that’s easier said than done.
While West Indies fans in the crowd get some percussion going, some words about its more decadent members:
@tomdaviesE17 There is something absolutely deplorable about spectators in a swimming pool at a Test
— The Justin Horton Show (@ejhchess) March 19, 2022
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2nd over: England 1-0 (Lees 0, Crawley 1). Funky captaincy! Permaul gets the new ball at the other end, Brathwaite evidently encouraged by Leach’s new(ish)-ball stint earlier. He could strike, he could get mauled, but it’s worth a go. Crawley nudges his first ball behind square for a single but he bamboozles Lees in the rough outside the left-hander’s off-stump and beats him all ends up. The batter’s struggling here, but survives.
1st over: England 0-0 (Lees 0, Crawley 0). Roach gets first use of the new ball in the evening sun, digging the first ball in short and inducing Lees to bottom-edge it on to his ribs. As might be expected from the most accomplished new-ball bowler on either side, Roach manages to extract a decent amount of pace and bite, and Lees can’t work him away. A maiden to start, and England could do with as few of those as possible.
The England openers are out in the middle. And it’s Lees and Crawley as per
Between-innings email, from Tom van de Gucht: “I suppose the big question is, do you see any of these guys bowling in the next Ashes series? Apart from Stokes.” Is it the big question though? A team to beat New Zealand, South Africa and West Indies should be the main current aim. Forget Australia. And I can see Mahmood and Fisher playing more Tests certainly. Depending on the state of the vast army of injured fast bowlers, several of whom are bound to be injured at any given time in the future.
Wicket! Da Silva lbw b Leach 33, West Indies 411 all out (Seales 5*)
187.5 overs: Jack Leach’s 70th over – you’d have to play at least 18 T20s to rack up that number – is his final one, as he finally wraps up the innings and gets his third scalp of it by snaring Da Silva, getting one to straighten and rapping his pads, and this one IS hitting, the review confirms. Leg stump to be precise. At last the innings is over. England have a first innings lead of 96.
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187th over: West Indies 410-9 (Da Silva 32, Seales 5). Da Silva demonstrates his confidence in Seales by taking an easy single on the legside off the first ball of Saqib’s over. And that confidence is repaid with some composed defence from the No 11. This will be irking England.
186th over: West Indies 410-9 (Da Silva 32, Seales 5). Root ushers Leach back on in place of himself, and the spinner’s 69th over begins with an lbw shout against Seales but he’d got well down the track and it was surely bouncing over. But two balls later he does prompt the umpire to raise the finger, only for Seales to review successfully. On we go.
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West Indies review succeeds! Seales lbw b Leach
This looks a good shout initially but what do I know? It’s turning down legside.
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185th over: West Indies 410-9 (Da Silva 32, Seales 5). Mahmood could do with a slightly more attacking field to Da Silva, I think, with currently only one slip and an inner ring on the offside kind-of saving the one. As it happens, Da Silva tucks him square on the legside for a single, leaving Seales exposed for four balls. But he looks comfortable and takes a single off the third of them.
Talking of alternative entertainment:
The traditional Barbadian sport of Road Tennis taking place during the (road) cricket lunch interval pic.twitter.com/rIiiKh33i8
— Ali Martin (@Cricket_Ali) March 19, 2022
184th over: West Indies 408-9 (Da Silva 31, Seales 4). Root continues, with no great threat. And Seales gets off the mark with a neat cover drive for four. Give Lawrence a twirl?
“Not exactly leaving one sport for another,” writes Paul Lakin, “but I was at Lord’s for England v India in 1996 when play had to be paused because of all the cheering as the crowd followed the England/Spain penalty shoot out on their radios. Dickie Bird looked distinctly unimpressed.” He might have thought differently if it was a Barnsley play-off perhaps.
183rd over: West Indies 403-9 (Da Silva 30, Seales 0). Mahmood pounds in around the wicket at Seales, though Curtly Ambrose on comms reckons he should go over and try to swing a few into his pads. As it is, coming round the wicket he raps Seales on the shin but he’s inevitably outside the line of off-stump so half-hearted appeals are in vain. (Replays suggest it would have hit too). A maiden.
“It’s not exactly ducking out of one sporting event to watch another,” concedes Bob Boggis, “but I did give up on an A-level exam and walk out so I could watch the first game of the 1990 World Cup (Argentina versus the mighty Cameroon). Needless to say, my academic career was set back a few years, but a) it was worth it, and b) I did eventually end up with an M.A. and a fair amount of teaching work.” An absolutely correct decision, Bob.
182nd over: West Indies 403-9 (Da Silva 30, Seales 0). As what I can only assume is the Barmy Army’s resident Sheffield United fan blasts out another chorus of “You light up my senses”, Root sends down an uneventful maiden.
181st over: West Indies 403-9 (Da Silva 30, Seales 0). Mahmood bowls a bouncer at Permaul – just to show that he can – and then snares Permaul, as the end of England’s marathon fielding ordeal draws closer. In comes the left-handed Seales – Test average: 3 – who survives the last two balls of the over.
England look set to have a first-innings lead for the first time in seven Tests, since September at the Oval in fact. What could possibly go wrong?
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Review! Permaul lbw b Mahmood 5, West Indies 403-9
Mahmood traps Permaul in front, the batsman reviews, because why not? But it’s smacking the top of middle and Mahmood has a merited second Test wicket.
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180th over: West Indies 402-8 (Da Silva 29, Permaul 5). Leach gets a breather and Root has a twirl in his stead, and gives his lungs some air with an absurdly optimistic lbw shout against Permaul for one that landed outside leg. Two singles from the over.
“Not really on topic,” says Ben Mimmack as if that had ever bothered us before, “but I ignored the hedonistic delights of Shangri-La at Glastonbury 2005 to watch the All Blacks re-arrange Brian O’Driscoll’s shoulder on a big screen next to the Pyramid stage. A poor choice in retrospect.” I dunno, it’s all just thrashing about in the mud in pursuit of isolated and often elusive nuggets of entertainment either way isn’t it?
179th over: West Indies 400-8 (Da Silva 28, Permaul 4). So, to the evening session: can England get those last two wickets swiftly and jump-start something? Saqib Mahmood returns to the attack and beats Da Silva with a slow low cutter first up, locating some variable/nonexistent bounce. The bowler’s punished for straying down leg next ball though, and Da Silva deflects it fine and beyond the keeper for four to bring up West Indies’ 400. The next ball is flawless though, arrowed in and hitting Da Silva on the pad and prompting an appeal but it’s not given. I’m looking forward to seeing Saqib play Test cricket in more amenable conditions than this.
“Afternoon Tom.” Afternoon John Little. “Over 1,000 balls now in this innings. Perhaps an idea for a competition/series? I have a catchy name – The Thousand.”
Paul and co’s email has got me to thinking about the subject of ducking out of one live sporting event to watch another. I snuck away from Wimbledon tennis in 2010 to watch England’s unremarkable World Cup football win over Slovenia in a nearby pub, and there was talk of mass desertions to bars at Lord’s during a Euro 96 England quarter-final. Anyone ever done that and missed Important Cricket? Perhaps you fled Edgbaston in 2005 to watch Solihull Moors or somesuch? Let us know.
Tea: West Indies 396-8
178th over: West Indies 396-8 (Da Silva 24, Permaul 4). Woakes, fair play to him, is finding the odd bit of bounce and cracks Permaul on one of his spinning fingers with a sharp lifting delivery. The tailender needs some treatment and some strapping. Permal duly dabs the next one behind backward point for two. And it’s time for tea.
Talking of those poor, poor souls in the crowd, Paul, Ben, Hywel Lewis and the News write in: “We’re here at the ground, kind of a tough watch. Our group is totally split about either staying, or heading into Bridgetown to watch England v France. Hoping you could conduct a Who-Wants~To-Be-A-Millionaire “Ask the Audience” type poll of the estimable OBO readership ...”
What do we think, people? My casting vote is for staying in the ground, obviously. Slow-moving live sport always always eclipses fast-moving stuff on a screen. You can always follow the rugby here.
Back in a bit. This game might yet move on apace in the evening session now, you never know.
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177th over: West Indies 394-8 (Da Silva 24, Permaul 2). Leach continues to find turn and bounce with the new ball, and Permaul looks as if he’s agitating to have a slog but thinks better of it. He square cuts him for one, anyhow.
The Barmy Army appear to have woken from their siesta. Imagine travelling all that way for this, with nothing to do but sit in the sun eating fried fish. What an outsized violin we must play for them.
176th over: West Indies 393-8 (Da Silva 24, Permaul 1). Woakes continues to Dasilva, who’s now digging in for the long haul himself by the looks, having faced 80 balls. It’s a maiden, and an unremarkable one.
175th over: West Indies 393-8 (Da Silva 24, Permaul 1). Leach has a big shout for caught behind – and it was worth one – after ripping one past Permaul’s edge. But no reviews, no dice.
“May I remind all the moaners that cricket is a sport, not an episode of Some Mothers Do Have’em, or whatever,” roars Tone White (ask your grandad). “These are sportsmen trying to out-do each other under local conditions, grueling work for which they train. Ever watched a F1 grand prix all the way through, a long distance walking race, a marathon .... if people want entertainment they can watch a film, read a book, knit a pair of socks! But if you’re watching test cricket you’re watching an endurance sport. Follow all those tired muscles and aching feet, understand the concentration involved, don’t moan about being bored.” I’ve done all of those things and even run a marathon, and yeah, none of them are as much fun as Test cricket, and all are funnier than Some Mothers Do Have Them
174th over: West Indies 393-8 (Da Silva 24, Permaul 1). Just wondering – without having time to look it up – when was the last Test in which no side was bowled out in any innings? Mind, it looks as if this match won’t be one of them now, as Roach is West Indies’ eighth man out, lbw to Woakes. Permaul – who knows a thing or two about luckless toil on this surface - is the new batsman in and is swiftly off the mark.
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Wicket! Roach lbw b Woakes 1, West Indies 392-8
Roach is hit on the front pad in front (ish). And reviews. It was slanting in on him, but clipping leg stump and the bowler gets the umpire’s call. Woakes has his first wicket in 52 overs.
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173rd over: West Indies 392-7 (Da Silva 24, Roach 1). A boundary! Not seen any of those since before sunset (UK time), Da Silva rocking back and square cutting Leach for four with some panache. The spinner then yells for an lbw when rapping Dasilva’s back pad as he misses a clip through leg, but it’s drifting down.
That was a record-busting 66th over from Leach. Come for the sun, stay for the stats.
172nd over: West Indies 387-7 (Da Silva 20, Roach 1). Woakes, the most obvious fish out of water in this series (and I say this as a fan of him both as a cricketer and a bloke), is belatedly given the new ball he was ostensibly selected on this tour to have first use of. He’s reasonably probing and accurate. One from the over.
171st over: West Indies 387-7 (Da Silva 19, Roach 1). Leach now has a properly attacking field, one in close in front of the wicket on the off and one on the leg, but Roach reads him well and dabs out a maiden. Can England get these last three wickets in time to have a bit of a slog in the later stages today? Will they try to have a slog?
170th over: West Indies 387-7 (Da Silva 19, Roach 1). After the PA blasts out a turgid and inappropriate blast of We Will Rock You between overs, Roach gets off the mark with a single to fine leg. One of two runs from an uneventful Fisher over.
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169th over: West Indies 385-7 (Da Silva 18, Roach 0). Leach is given a go with that new ball, and gets it to sing, seeing off Brathwaite with a beauty.
Just before that, I’d received this email from Liam Taylor, jinxing the home captain: “Surely the main excitement now is seeing how long Brathwaite can bat? He has now faced more balls than Babar Azam did for Pakistan last week. More than Laxman did in scoring 281 against Australia in 2001. More than Matthew Hayden did when he hit 380 to set the world record in 2003. When he reaches 492, he’ll have equalled Atherton at Johannesburg in 1995. We are witnessing history being made - very slowly.”
Or not.
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Wicket! Brathwaite b Leach 160, West Indies 385-7
BRATHWAITE IS OUT! Leach gets the new ball and does him with a a beauty, pitched on middle and leg and jagging away to take out off. And thus ends a marathon demonstration of concentration and defiance from the West Indies captain.
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168th over: West Indies 383-6 (Brathwaite 159, Da Silva 17). Dasilva’s looking pretty comfortable now after a ropey start and he flays Fisher through the covers for two. This is no time or place for a seamer to be starting their Test career.
167th over: West Indies 381-6 (Brathwaite 159, Da Silva 15). Remember how – a couple of short weeks ago – Stokes was being talked about as very much a mere back-up bowler on this tour? Well, he has now bowled more overs in the series than any other seamer. He’s getting as much out of the pitch as any of them too, and he even induces a loose edge from Brathwaite, but it flies over the slips for four. Thems the breaks. And he comes back at him with an inswinger that almost takes out off stump. A really good over in the circumstanes
166th over: West Indies 375-6 (Brathwaite 154, Da Silva 14). Brathwaite takes a leisurely single off Fisher, and not much else happens. Hey ho.
165th over: West Indies 374-6 (Brathwaite 153, Da Silva 14). Stokes continues, and Dasilva – currently monopolising the strike to give his captain a breather – flicks him through the legside for two. He’s also beaten all ends up by a beautifully shaped scrambled-seam outswinger
164th over: West Indies 372-6 (Brathwaite 153, Da Silva 12). Fisher is preferred to Woakes at the other end, and gifts Dasilva an easy carved two followed by an easy carved single square on the offside with wide deliveries. Worth letting a spinner see if they can get some grip and rip with the new ball? And now it’s time for a sponsored drinks break.
163rd over: West Indies 369-6 (Brathwaite 153, Da Silva 9) The new ball is taken and Ben Stokes is given first use of it, not a privilege often conferred on him. There’s movement off the seam and some carry, but no great threat. Dasilva tucks the widest ball of the over down to fine leg for its only run.
162nd over: West Indies 368-6 (Brathwaite 153, Da Silva 8) The third Fisher replaces Saqib and has a shout for lbw straight away but it’s turned down and England have no reviews left. Looked as if it was going down the legside anyway. A couple of easy singles ensue.
“As the front-line attack tires, I note that Alex Lees bowls leg spin,” writes Tim Sanders, “with a first-class bowling average of 32; his strike rate is a shade better than a wicket every four overs. ‘Get Lee-sy On !’ I say. Just don’t tell Jack Leach that most of that is down to some odorous declaration bowling in the 2016 Lords game that denied Somerset the county championship.”
What a match that was. And old-school County Championship declaration bowling might be the only thing that revives this match now. Get all the pie-chuckers on.
161st over: West Indies 366-6 (Brathwaite 152, Da Silva 7) The third – count ’em – new ball is now available, but Root gives it a swerve, for now, thinking that the old ball might give his bowlers some swerve. Brathwaite is utterly unflappable though, turning a single through square leg. Dasilva then picks up four with a low edge through the slips that was never at catchable height.
“Why the snide remarks about the way Windies are approaching this test match?” writes Paul Sokhy. “They are not going to hand this match to England why should they. If the boot was on the other foot people be saying what a rearguard action by England to save the match such character, resilience blah blah. One thing for sure England aint gonna win this match i think the expectation was they’d roll over the windies by day three not what they are getting strong disciplined resistance and by playing good cricket. Ah well the Barmy army is a bit quiet.”
I think West Indies have done all they’ve needed to do to be honest, when faced with 500 on the board against them, but when neither the pitch nor the bowling attacks are offering you a match then it’s understandable that one might feel bored and irritable.
160th over: West Indies 361-6 (Brathwaite 151, Da Silva 3) Mahmood, who’s busting a gut to inject some life into this game, has an lbw shout against Dasilva – who’s spent his innings looking like an lbw shout waiting to happen – but it’s clearly going down leg. He’s also still getting the odd one to lift, ending his over with a bouncer, that Dasilva gets under.
159th over: West Indies 361-6 (Brathwaite 151, Da Silva 3) Thanks Tim, and evening/afternoon everyone. A result – like world peace and social justice - is theoretically possible, you just don’t quite know how. Stokes’s over passes uneventfully, like so much of this game.
And that’s me done. Brathwaite can go on for ever, Leach can match him dot for dot, but I’m exhausted just watching them so I’m going to hand over to Tom Davies, who will keep you throughly entertained in a way that the match may not. Thanks for your company, correspondence and support for my campaign to relieve Joe Root of the burdens of captaincy.
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158th over: West Indies 360-6 (Brathwaite 150, Da Silva 3) Mahmood, who has been bowling length, suddenly digs one in and produces a rip-snorting lifter. Da Silva might have found two or three ways to get out to it, but Brathwaite is able to let it go by. That’s a maiden. Mahmood’s spell since lunch looks more like a PIN number: 4-1-5-1.
157th over: West Indies 360-6 (Brathwaite 150, Da Silva 3) England think they’ve got Da Silva again as a ball from Leach ends up in the hands of short leg. They review, but it’s pad-only, and well outside leg stump. Another bad review. Somewhere in south-west London, a Mr J Buttler rolls his eyes.
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150 to Brathwaite!
Brathwaite, facing Leach of course, shovels to mid-on and takes a quick single to move to 150. He has used up 458 balls and hit 16 of them for four.
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156th over: West Indies 359-6 (Brathwaite 149, Da Silva 3) Da Silva is doing his best to be LBW after all, shuffling across, planting his left pad in front of off stump and playing with half a bat. Mahmood can smell that second wicket but he bowls a no-ball. Jonny Bairstow is at mid-off, offering advice, possibly along the lines of “do anything you like, but don’t overstep”.
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155th over: West Indies 357-6 (Brathwaite 148, Da Silva 3) Another over from Leach, another single to Brathwaite. One day these two will be a double act, touring provincial theatres under the Test Match Special banner, wrily recalling their joint marathon.
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154th over: West Indies 356-6 (Brathwaite 147, Da Silva 3) Great to see Mahmood making an impression. More than any England seamer since Jofra Archer, he carries himself like a fast bowler – confident, aggressive, charismatic.
Mahmood denied a second wicket!
Mahmood spears another one in and Da Silva is given out LBW, but he reviews and escapes because there’s a spike on Snicko. Da Silva himself clearly didn’t think he’d hit it, as he took an age to make the signal.
153rd over: West Indies 356-6 (Brathwaite 147, Da Silva 3) So with the ball reversing, who’s going to bowl from the other end? How about Jack Leach? He wheels through over 61, and each batter takes a single.
152nd over: West Indies 354-6 (Brathwaite 146, Da Silva 2) Saqib, with his tail up, reverses a length ball into Joshua Da Silva’s pads, but the appeal is stifled because there’s an inside edge. Da Silva gets off the mark with a stab to third man.
That stroke was quite unlike anything Holder had attempted before. Did the West Indians sit down over lunch and decide it was time to go on the attack? We shall see.
Wicket! Holder c Fisher b MAHMOOD 12 (WI 351-6)
And it’s not a no-ball! Saqib Mahmood finally gets his first Test wicket as Holder skies a pull and Matt Fisher takes a fine swirling catch at mid-on. A tale of two debutants.
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Play about to resume
Is play the right word for this? I’m beginning to have my doubts.
Jack Leach has already bowled 60 overs in this game. “A stultifying Test in Barbados,” says Andy Zaltzman on Twitter, “has enabled Jack Leach to become the third England bowler in the last 30 years to bowl 60+ overs in a Test innings. George Geary’s all-time record of 81 (MCG, 1928-29) could be within reach. Thrilling times.”
In case you’re wondering who the other two were, one was Ashley Giles (65-16-190-2) against Sri Lanka in Colombo in 2003. I wonder what happened to him? The other was Monty Panesar (60-15-116-0) against South Africa in 2008, at Lord’s of all places. Sixty overs without a wicket!
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An email comes in from Brad Elliott in Nairobi, entitled “Something worse”. It begins with a bit of Bruce Springsteen.
“Is it something worse
That sends me down to the river
Though I know the river is dry.
“I grew up with a not-so secret love for the Windies, despite growing up in Worcestershire in the 80s. Man, what has happened?
“I’ve loved cricket for 30+ years (only Test cricket really of the international stage). I don’t mind big losses from either side given my Englishness (e.g. 1988-2004) and aforementioned love, but damn. Test cricket is already struggling. Why the boringness? Better to smash out to 450 all out, no, than put the remaining fans through turgid tripe?
“I live in Kenya, where cricket was once a reasonably big thing, but now isn’t really. I recently played in an over-40s’ T10 because people don’t even have the patience for T20 at local level. Why kill thing the thing you love?
“Fear has ruined the 2020s in so many ways already; but the Windies in Barbados, batting like it’s a 9-day test? Brathwaite blocking in the 140s (not totally his fault maybe). My son (8), LHB, right arm over, can’t get behind this. He’s like ‘when is something happening?’
“Those memories come back to haunt me.
They haunt me like a curse
Is a dream a lie if it don’t come true
Or is it something worse?
“Keep up the good work, no need to publish unless you think there’s anything of interest.
“Warmly, BE in Nairobi/Kigali.”
Rain delays resumption
We have another stoppage, though it doesn’t look like being any longer than the earlier ones.
Lunch: all quiet on the West Indian front
151st over: West Indies 351-5 (Brathwaite 145, Holder 12) Holder dabs Woakes’s first ball for a single, and the prospect looms of what Ian Bishop would call a torrent of runs. But then Brathwaite remembers who he is and plays out five dots. He has now faced 444 balls. And that is lunch, with West Indies still sitting pretty, in a grim kind of way. They have added 63 off 34 overs this morning, and they now trail by 156. Time for some fresh air – see you in half an hour.
150th over: West Indies 350-5 (Brathwaite 145, Holder 11) Leach bowls the 150th over, which may well feel like his 150th over. The first ball is a good one, taking the edge of Holder’s bat, but squirting away for a single. Brathwaite, roused from his slumber, cuts for two to bring up the 350.
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149th over: West Indies 347-5 (Brathwaite 143, Holder 10) Woakes to Brathwaite: another maiden. This partnership has been a right bundle of laughs, adding 11 off 77 balls.
148th over: West Indies 347-5 (Brathwaite 143, Holder 10) Leach has bowled seven overs in this spell and conceded precisely one run. For Holder he now has a silly point, something you don’t often see in the age of DRS.
Make that eight overs for one run.
147th over: West Indies 347-5 (Brathwaite 143, Holder 10) Off goes Stokes, on comes Woakes. And he almost takes a wicket! He finds some extra bounce from somewhere and persuades Brathwaite to pop the ball up to short leg – but not to the short leg who’s actually there, more of a short midwicket.
146th over: West Indies 347-5 (Brathwaite 143, Holder 10) Leach to Holder: another maiden. A small boy in search of some entertainment climbs onto a jet-ski and rides it standing up. I’m not sure he’s going to be a Test batter when he grows up.
Here’s John Starbuck again. “The Pogues (141st over - don’t think I’ve ever written to the OBO before quoting such a large figure) did perform with The Dubliners in singing The Irish Rover, a famous folk nonsense song. What most people don’t realise is that they helped out with a version containing all the filthy bits too. You can find it on Son of Rogues Gallery if you are so inclined.”
145th over: West Indies 347-5 (Brathwaite 143, Holder 10) With Holder at Leach’s end, someone else is going to have bowl a maiden to Brathwaite. The task falls to Stokes.
144th over: West Indies 347-5 (Brathwaite 143, Holder 10) Correction: this over is the first Leach has bowled to Holder. Rookie error! In my defence, I was busy putting capital letters on all those music venues. For some reason this morning’s correspondents have not been keen on caps, which is fine when you’re emailing a mate but a bit of a pain when you’re expecting to be published on one of the world’s leading news sites.
143rd over: West Indies 347-5 (Brathwaite 143, Holder 10) Stokes again gets the better of Holder, but again finds no joy: the edge drops short of slip. Soft hands, soft pitch, soft ball, hard yakka.
Martin Crookall is back to answer the question about whether he was joking (136th over). “On the contrary, no. This was the Test cricket I grew up on, placid, serene and thoughtful. I’d sit all day in front of the TV, live broadcast from the BBC, watching the spinners wheel away. It was gentle and calming. Mind you, this stuff you’re commenting on now is a bore and Joe Root is a rubbish captain.”
142nd over: West Indies 346-5 (Brathwaite 143, Holder 9) Leach bowls to Holder for the first time. And records a maiden, for the 21st time.
141st over: West Indies 346-5 (Brathwaite 143, Holder 9) A single! To Holder, dabbing Stokes to third man. And another, to Brathwaite, tucking behind square leg. Then Stokes, tackling Holder again, beats the bat, getting a length ball to hold its line.
“Afternoon Tim,” says Mark Little. “It is always nice to remember Kirsty Mac/Fairytale, but it occurred to me that I couldn’t remember another Pogues song despite many a happy night in their company at the Town & Country Club and Electric Ballroom, Kilburn National and other lowlife venues in N London.” That’s OK, Shane MacGowan can’t remember them either.
“On the subject of lowlife venues, will anything happen today d’ya think?” I wouldn’t bet on it.
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140th over: West Indies 344-5 (Brathwaite 142, Holder 8) Leach to Brathwaite, yet again. Brathwaite has now faced 332 dot balls, many of them from Leach. Their personal duel has occupied 190 balls and yielded 43 runs. It has been, let’s face it, an epic bore.
139th over: West Indies 344-5 (Brathwaite 142, Holder 8) Stokes to Holder again, one star all-rounder to another. Holder does a Brathwaite, stamping his authority on the first ball of the over – a half-volley, driven past mid-off with the greatest of ease.
138th over: West Indies 340-5 (Brathwaite 142, Holder 4) Jack Leach seems perfectly willing to bowl all day, which is lucky because that’s exactly what Joe Root has in mind for him. He gets a nick, but Brathwaite’s hands are soft and the ball falls short of Zak Crawley at slip. This delivery, by the way, is the 400th Brathwaite has faced.
137th over: West Indies 340-5 (Brathwaite 142, Holder 4) When England batted, the two men who moved the game along were Lawrence and Stokes, and now they’ve done it again. That’s the good news. The bad news is that Joseph has been replaced by Jason Holder, who, the last time he faced England on this ground, made an unbeaten double century. Stokes does find his edge right away, but it’s a controlled one that goes along the ground and trickles away for four.
Wicket! Joseph c Lawrence b Stokes 19 (West Indies 336-5)
At last! Stokes lures Joseph into a slash and Dan Lawrence, at a deepish gully, does very well to see it, let alone hold onto it.
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136th over: West Indies 336-4 (Brathwaite 142, Joseph 19) Leach is denied another maiden when Joseph goes back to play a classy shot, a force through the covers that deserves more than a single.
“Root’s overuse of Jack Leach takes me back,” says Martin Crookall, “to the Tests of the early Seventies, and sessions that would be bowled straight through, without change, by Ray Illingworth at one end and Derek Underwood at the other, piling up maidens by the score. I miss those days.” Is it safe to assume you’re joking?
135th over: West Indies 335-4 (Brathwaite 142, Joseph 18) Brathwaite prods Stokes to third man again, for two this time, and that brings up the fifty partnership off 22-1 overs. Nightwatchmen can be so annoying.
134th over: West Indies 333-4 (Brathwaite 140, Joseph 18) Yes, Leach was just changing ends, so here he is bowling his 52nd over. By the time West Indies are all out he could be on 100. For such a nice guy, Joe Root can be a bit of a gang-master.
133rd over: West Indies 333-4 (Brathwaite 140, Joseph 18) You’d think England would have spotted by now that Brathwaite feasts on width and on the first ball of an over. Ben Stokes comes on and his loosener is outside off, so Brathwaite just has to dab it to pick up four to third man. On the plus side, Leach is getting a breather – unless he’s changing ends.
132nd over: West Indies 329-4 (Brathwaite 136, Joseph 18) Where Leach wheels away, Lawrence whirls away. And although he’s done well in this series, he does have the part-timer’s habit of bowling one bad ball per over. After five dots, he gives Joseph a juicy long hop and is pulled for six, just over the man at deep square.
131st over: West Indies 323-4 (Brathwaite 136, Joseph 12) Leach continues and maintains his policy of producing one ripper per over. This one, to Brathwaite, takes off from a length and goes so high that Ben Foakes does very well to reach it: if it had been a tennis ball, he would have been able to smash it. Maybe it is a tennis ball and that’s why it bounced so high and so harmlessly.
130th over: West Indies 323-4 (Brathwaite 136, Joseph 12) Brathwaite drives the first ball of Lawrence’s second over for three. He does love to assert himself at the start of an over or a spell.
129th over: West Indies 320-4 (Brathwaite 133, Joseph 12) Another over from Leach, another single to Brathwaite. It’s a match made in purgatory.
Play resumes!
128th over: West Indies 319-4 (Brathwaite 132, Joseph 12) Lawrence finishes his over, Joseph has a mow and gets away with an uppish slice. “A torrent of runs this morning,” says Ian Bishop. You what? We’ve had 31 in 11 overs.
“Let’s go further,” says David McCairley, “why the need for the captain to be alive at all? Judicious use of the ouija board could extend England’s options. WG Grace perhaps or Boycott (still alive maybe?).” Boycott?! Yes, still alive, but he was only ever a stand-in captain, when Mike Brearley was injured, and it went so well that Ian Botham ran him out on purpose.
Rain stops play! WI 317-4
127.5 overs: West Indies 317-4 (Brathwaite 132, Joseph 10) Root has been more proactive this morning with his bowling changes, at least at one end. He replaces Mahmood with Dan Lawrence, or, as Butcher calls him, the Chingford Chandrasekhar. He finds some turn, but then the rain returns and the players trot off. We’ve had a third of a session and it has belonged to West Indies, though Jack Leach has been inches away from finding some joy with his periodic rippers.
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127th over: West Indies 315-4 (Brathwaite 131, Joseph 9) “How did that miss?” exclaims Curtly Ambrose as Leach bamboozles Brathwaite with another jaffa – and still doesn’t find the edge.
This one, unlike the other rippers, was 90kph. “So maybe,” says Mark Butcher, “things are beginning to happen on this pitch.” We can but hope.
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126th over: West Indies 313-4 (Brathwaite 130, Joseph 8) Mahmood finds his groove, but still no threat. This is his second tour of the Caribbean this year and in four matches – three T20 and this one – he has yet to take a wicket. But at least he’s not going for 13 runs an over.
125th over: West Indies 312-4 (Brathwaite 129, Joseph 8) Poor old Leach: not good enough as yet to dismiss top-order batters on this surface, but far too good for Alzarri Joseph, who gets another ripper. This is another maiden, but the edge that flew to the vacant leg slip brought up Leach’s hundred. His figures are 48-16-100-1, and that’s the most overs he has bowled in a Test innings.
“On the captaincy front,” says Kim Thonger, “a trick is being missed. Mark Wood, with a variety of close imaginary animal advisors, could be a marvellous captain. He could gallop round the field on his imaginary horse, marshalling the troops, deploy an imaginary owl for wise DRS decisions, unleash an imaginary parrot to sledge on his behalf, release an imaginary tiger to fire up pace bowlers with the prospect of being eaten if their all is not given. The possibilities and permutations of an imaginary menagerie are literally infinite. Plus, what a top bloke.”
124th over: West Indies 312-4 (Brathwaite 129, Joseph 8) Fisher gives way to Saqib Mahmood, one debutant replacing another. The result is much the same, only more so: a wide one, flayed for four by Brathwaite, who also picks up two twos in the same area. West Indies have avoided the follow-on: they trail by just 195 runs.
123rd over: West Indies 304-4 (Brathwaite 121, Joseph 8) Leach bowls a peach to Joseph, far too good to take the edge of a tail-ender’s bat – pitching middle, lifting and turning and heading for slip. In a perfect world, the batter would have been Mike Gatting.
“In this modern day and age,” says Andrew Benton, “why do we need a captain to be on the field of play? Why not let the players play, and the captain can captain remotely from the pavilion. That way, a captain can be selected for captaining abilities alone. And could even be a woman in a man’s match.”
122nd over: West Indies 304-4 (Brathwaite 121, Joseph 8) Brathwaite, facing Fisher, waits for the bad ball, which comes along at the end of the over: a long hop, cut away for four.
121st over: West Indies 300-4 (Brathwaite 117, Joseph 8) Leach has a chat with Root and they remove his leg slip for Brathwaite – whereupon an edge loops up off the inside edge to just where the guy no longer is. That’s bad luck more than bad judgment, though it is quite early in the day to be making a defensive change.
“Nice to see Kirsty MacColl remembered,” says John Starbuck, “but Shakespeare did get there first.
Glendower: I can call creatures from the vasty deep.
Hotspur: Why, so can I, so can any man; But will they come when you do call for them?
“Henry IV Pt 1. One of the great put-downs.”
120th over: West Indies 299-4 (Brathwaite 116, Joseph 8) Fisher goes full to Joseph, hoping for a nick to the cordon only slip. Joseph is equal to it, square-driving for four. He has a Test best of 86, apparently, so maybe he’s eyeing a hundred.
119th over: West Indies 295-4 (Brathwaite 116, Joseph 4) And from the other end, it’s... Jack Leach! With a curious field, a slip and two short legs, as if they think the arm ball is more dangerous than Leach’s stock-in-trade. Brathwaite, very happy for Leach to aim at his legs, nudges the first ball for two.
“Poor old Root,” says David Alcock. “I have a lot of love for the guy - local lad, went to the same school as my partner’s lass, sublime batsman, etc. But, some of his Yorkshire nicknames have become cuttingly accurate. I’d add a Homeric epithet: Craptain Cliche, Breaker of Bowlers. Sorry Joe.
“Regarding a Broad captaincy being mooted again - I thought that sort of chatter was the primary reason for him and Anderson getting dropped... or am I being too cynical?”
118th over: West Indies 293-4 (Brathwaite 114, Joseph 4) Root hands the ball to Matthew Fisher, perhaps to make up for spurning him when this ball was news. His loosener is a bit too loose, so Brathwaite leg-glances the first ball for four. Warming to the task, Fisher bowls a good bouncer to the nightwatchman, Alzarri Joseph, who freezes and takes a blow to the hand.
The players are on the field. It’s cloudy right now, but the forecast is solid sunshine.
This series has been all about the imbalance between bat and ball. “It’s all dead tracks now,” says Kemar Roach in a statement that BT Sport showed on the screen just now. You can see this in the series stats: Dan Lawrence, not content with being top of the series averages, is the only bowler with a strike rate better than 66 balls per wicket. It is taking all the proper bowlers at least 11 overs to come by a wicket. England’s specialist seamers are all going along at over 100 balls per wicket, with poor old Chris Woakes on 330.
Another view of the captaincy comes in from Andy Flintoff (“not that one”). “If this were a few years ago,” he argues, “then my choice for replacement captain would have been Anderson, who if I recall correctly, has stood in in the past. Now he’s being eased out of the set-up, then it’d probably have to be Stokes or Broad, as long as they don’t fall foul of my namesake’s failings which were to bowl themselves too much and indirectly shorten their Test careers.”
“So far, this Test has been the cricketing equivalent of Mogadon,” says Jo Pridmore. “Kill me now...!!”
Start delayed to 2.15 GMT
In other news. it’s been raining this morning in Bridgetown. Another unexpected blow for the travelling masses. The covers are off now, but the start has gone back by a quarter of an hour.
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“To be fair to Root,” says Gary Naylor, “if he had the two blokes to bowl at their own ends, he’d look a world-beater.” Marshall and Garner? In the immortal words of Kirsty MacColl, well so could anyone. “He has been more attacking with his field placings than is usual and I’m not sure you can overrule your most experienced bowler when he says it’s not worth a review.” If you’re the captain, you can overrule anyone. And there was nothing to lose with that review – at worst, it was going to be umpire’s call, wasn’t it?
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And here’s John Starbuck, joining the campaign. “Yes, Root isn’t up to it,” he says, “so why don’t we take a leaf out of the Aussies’ book and appoint a senior fast bowler to lead the team properly? Broad really fits the bill, as a good analyst of the game, willing to put in the hard yards but also swap the bowling round to suit both the players and the pitch. He also fields regularly at mid-off and would keep a close eye on all his bowlers. OK, his judgment of the DRS is over-enthusiastic, but a group of designated players told to watch out for it could be his consultation council, or he might take the umpires’ DRS training course (there must be one). Plus he does the media well. And England need another fast bowler to cover all the crocks.”
An email! From Dean Kinsella. “It’s hard to disagree with your assessment of Root’s captaincy shortcomings,” he says, “especially as he seems to a very affable chap and popular with the squad. But the next question is, inevitably, who do you replace him with? It’s great to see some younger players being blooded in this series and maybe a candidate may arise from these in time. But I feel the ‘reset’ is not ready for Root and branch change.” Ha.
Well, Mike Brearley feels it’s time for Stokes - and he was very good when he led a one-day B team to a whitewash against Pakistan last summer. Personally I would have had Stuart Broad, who is highly analytical and articulate and also has fire in the belly. Though he would have needed a lot of help with the reviews.
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Preamble: not making things happen
Test cricket, as you know, is called that for a reason. It’s the ultimate test for the players. And it can also be quite a test for the mere spectator. Picture the scene: you save up for years to follow England on tour. The Caribbean in March! Trip of a lifetime! And then you find you’ve booked in for five days of tedium.
After three days of this match, there have been 13 wickets. At that rate, it would take six more days to get close to a result. While Tests elsewhere often finish early, West Indies’ groundsmen are hell-bent on bringing back the draw. In Antigua it was a reasonably tense one, with a result still possible as the final session began. In Barbados, we’ll be lucky to get anywhere near that.
It’s not just the groundsmen. West Indies have mostly batted like it’s 1959, Alex Lees did the same for England, and even Joe Root, usually so fluent, found the boundary only once every 22 balls. Dan Lawrence and Ben Stokes went three times as fast as that and deserve medals for it. But in the field England have been almost as passive as West Indies with the bat. Root had Jack Leach wheeling away for hours on end, doing the same thing, expecting a different outcome. After bowling Jofra Archer and Mark Wood into the ground, he is now working on Leach – who, as a spinner, is better able to cope, but still, it made no sense to hand him the new ball when he was knackered and there were three specialist seamers kicking their heels.
As a captain, Root remains superb at one facet of the job (leading from the front), good at another (being an ambassador), and hopeless at the rest: picking the team, reading the pitch, having a plan, having a back-up plan, making things happen, running the show. A strong captain is always one step ahead, yet Root was so dopey with his bowling changes yesterday that some OBOers had time to work out what was needed, compose an email, wait for us writers to get through the inbox, and still be half an hour ahead of the game.
Jos Buttler has copped some flak for his poor Ashes with the bat, but without his sharp eye and cool head, Root even struggles with the reviews. Watching England yesterday, you’d never have known that Root had captained them in more Tests than anyone in their history.
That said, hope springs eternal, and I’ll be delighted if he goes out there today and makes this opinion look silly. Play starts at 2pm GMT: see you then.
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