Can Moyes survive?
Jacob Steinberg’s report!
And that’s the lot from me. Well done, Newcastle. Thanks for reading – and thanks for all the emails. Bye for now.
Updated
Two-goal Callum Wilson is asked on Sky Sports about scoring another goal or two against the poor Hammers: “It’s tradition now … sometimes you have those teams you play against. You just have a feeling that you’re going to score … today I managed to get on the scoresheet … no, stay humble … you get a feeling. It’s about taking opportunities … I’ve been on the bench the last few weeks, but today I had to make a statement, and let people know I’m here.
“We were good. We made a real statement … we let them back in, lost a bit of momentum, second-half we regrouped and got it back.
“It is about being ruthless, being clinical in both boxes. Goals are scored, but it’s what happens five seconds before that … we have some great team moves today …
“I feel like I’m energised again, back in the mood for scoring … goals are vital, points are vital … obviously we’d love to play in the Champions League. Every player would. It would be massive. Especially where we were last season … it’s [been] a big week for us.”
Make that 12 goals in 13 #PL games... 😅#WHUNEW https://t.co/qEWM9MBbbq
— Premier League (@premierleague) April 5, 2023
Updated
West Ham stay 15th on 27 points, level with Everton, Forest and Bournemouth.
So Toon and Manchester United both hit 53 points, with Newcastle improving their goal difference to +26. United’s is +5, so they certainly ain’t going to be outstripping Newcastle if it comes down to the old GD.
Spurs are on 50 points, but have played a match more, 29 to 28 in the case of both those Uniteds.
“West Ham are porridge,” writes Eric.
“Perhaps they need maple syrup. Here in Canada, it’s a no brainer in porridge … Another winner is a teaspoon of turmeric ginger paste …. And for full on mash-up some yeast powder … Good times.”
Turmeric ginger paste? That’s wild.
Stat, via Sky Sports: That’s the second time Newcastle have scored five away in His Majesty’s Premier League. The first was, as you all know, 1998 at Coventry.
Updated
Full-time! West Ham 1-5 Newcastle
Fin.
93 min: We’ll have four mins added. In fact we nearly already have …
Full-time! Manchester United 1-0 Brentford
Rashford scored what proved to be the winner.
91 min: “Here in New England, porridge is just a vehicle for the maple syrup,” emails Andy.
Goal! 89 min: West Ham 1-5 Newcastle (Joelinton)
The Brazilian romps through on goal thanks to an incisive clipped pass played diagonally, right to left, out of midfield. West Ham look stretched. He has a couple of defenders near but wastes no time in burying a low shot inside the far post.
Is this the end for Moyes?
Updated
89 min: Into injury time at Old Trafford and the hosts still lead 1-0.
88 min: Ings makes an angled run. But West Ham lose it. Newcastle have hardly been troubled. It was an uncharacteristic error by Pope, really, that led to Zouma’s headed goal. That aside they’ve been solid as a rock.
84 min: Newcastle’s Matt Targett comes on for Dan Burn.
Isak chases a hopeful ball down the middle. There are two defenders in attendance but Fabianski rushes off his line, and out of his area, and tries to make a meaningful contact on the ball but he’s come out too enthusiastically, or the ball has bounced higher than he expects … he can only deflect it upwards and sideways with his hip. The ball falls perfectly for Isak, who takes it nicely on his chest, and smartly volleys the ball into the empty net. More comedy defending from West Ham. Fabianski shakes his head. Moyes does too, no doubt.
Updated
Goal! 81 min: West Ham 1-4 Newcastle (Isak)
It’s another dreadful goal to concede.
80 min: Paqueta tries to slide a ball through the middle for Cornet. But unlike for Newcastle’s second, their defenders are alert. Trippier intercepts.
79 min: Bowen goes for the Ian Woan special, whipping the ball left-footed from a tight angle. Zouma was actually lurking at the far post but I fancy that was a shot. Anyway, regardless, it missed and went out for a goal kick … West Ham supporters are pictured streaming out.
Updated
78 min: West Ham push. Bowen is tripped on the edge of the area, by Willock. The ref was giving nothing, but his assistant flags. West Ham fans want a penalty but it was just outside. Could they make it an interesting last 10?
77 min: “Schade one on one with De Gea, who blocks bravely! Still 1-0 at Old Trafford.”
Thanks, Joe.
Updated
75 min: “Evening Luke, Emailing in from Corfu, where we’ve been rained off more than hoped,” writes Karl.
“If talk has been of porridge toppings then the Co cessation begins and certainly ends at Nutella. Big dollop … mixed in … bish bash bosh … thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.”
I’ve never done Nutella. More a golden syrup kind of guy. Until I discovered peanut butter, you understand. Hope the weather improves.
Updated
73 min: Gordon, with his fresh legs, makes inroads on the right. He cuts it back for Willock who shoots, but his effort is blocked … Guimares then bends a shot just wide!
This match looks over, but it would be a bit more over-er if Newcastle made it 4-1.
72 min: Zouma nearly wins it in the six yard box! Again, Pope is nowhere … but he wins a free-kick this time.
70 min: Emerson and Ings link down the West Ham left. They win a free-kick. Trippier complains. Emerson to take … Not much comes of, but West Ham win another corner.
Updated
69 min: West Ham win a corner. Newcastle struggle to clear convincingly. The rain continues to fall heavily in east London. Can the Hammers find a way back?
68 min: “Peanut butter is an excellent addition to porridge but made even better with a sliced banana,” emails Rob. “Also a teaspoon of chunky marmalade is great in porridge.”
67 min: “Australian culinary standards dictate that any time bread is toasted, you’ve “cooked” something,” confirms Chris. “Anyway there’s a lot to toasting and then applying spread: timing of removal of bread from toaster, what knife to use, whether to cut toast into smaller pieces ... I’m practically a Michelin chef at this point.”
Fair go, mate.
Updated
63 min: Substitutions! Seven of them, believe it or not.
Cornet, Downes, Ings and Soufal come off the bench for the Hammers. Antonio, Benrahma Kehrer, and Soucek go off.
Isak on for Newcastle … and Anthony Gordon! And Joe Willock!
Murphy, Wilson and Saint-Maximin go off.
Updated
60 min: Jeopardy-wise, us neutrals have really lost out with that horrendous mistake by Aguerd. It would have been really tense at 2-1 … as it is, Newcastle are comfortable, and they are about to make at least three substitutions.
58 min: But what’s going on on the pitch, I hear you cry. Saint-Maximin bends a fine shot that looks destined for the far corner. Fabianski clips it around the post. Good “save”, even if it was probably just missing.
57 min: Speaking of peanut butter, I was recently introduced to stirring a tablespoon full of it in a bowl of porridge. Game changer.
Updated
55 min: A sweeping move from Newcastle pulls West Ham apart completely. It goes through four/five players and ends with Murphy bending a shot that is beaten away by Fabianski. That would have been a goal of the month contender.
Updated
55 min: Out of interest, Chris, did you actually cook the peanut butter on toast, or did you simply toast it?
Updated
54 min: “Just finished cooking the perfect peanut-butter-on-toast,” emails Chris from Australia. “As I returned to the living room and took my first bite, Wilson hit the back of the net. This is the stuff of dreams...almost as good as GOAL! the movie (with Alessandro Nivola playing the perfect Craig Bellamy ie Gavin Harris)“
Updated
50 min: West Ham fan Martin Kelner has views on that goal.
For fuck’s fucking sake! #WHUNEW
— martin kelner (@martinkelner) April 5, 2023
To start the second half, Aguerd pulls off a daring back header from a ball over the top, straight at Fabianski, that might have gone in if it was either side of the goalie. They get away with it. But then they don’t.
Fabianski rolls the ball out to Aguerd, who’s just headed it back to him seconds ago. Aguerd is pressed hard by Murphy. Aguerd gets himself in a terrible muddle and loses the ball in his own penalty area. Murphy squares for Wilson, who taps the ball into the empty net. Moyes, soaking wet in the rain, stands there miserably, looking like a Scottish Larry David.
Updated
Goal! 46 min: West Ham 1-3 Newcastle (Wilson)
Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.
Updated
Second half kick-off!
Here. We. Go.
Half-time! West Ham 1-2 Newcastle
See you in a few minutes for more … here’s some half time reading:
Half-time at Old Trafford: Man Utd 1-0 Brentford. Rashford with the goal.
46 min: Newcastle romp down to the West Ham end and have plenty of men forward. A ball is pumped to the far post and Saint-Maximin tries to cut it back. They have the numbers there but the final pass goes astray.
Updated
45 min: Three mins added on in wet and wild East London.
44 min:
“Northampton Town.”
“Cobblers.”
Best one yet, from Thomas.
42 min: Ooooooooof. Emerson goes in the referee’s notebook for a wild lunge on Murphy, sliding a mile at full speed on this very wet pitch. That was reckless – he didn’t really catch him – had he done so, it was a red card all day.
Updated
41 min:
Email from Ben, titled: Spurs.
Email content: “Lunacy.”
I’m enjoying these. Thanks
Updated
Goal! 39 min: West Ham 1-2 Newcastle (Zouma)
That West Ham corner is bent over to the far post by Bowen, a good delivery. With Antonio in close attendance in the six-yard box, Pope flaps but gets nowhere near it, a real howler from the Magpies gloveman. Zouma climbs and nods the ball in with a regulation downwards header!
Updated
38 min: Antonio barrels down the West Ham left. He leaves Longstaff in his wake, and cuts a ball back for Bowen. Bowen tries a first-time volley but fluffs it and scuffs it. But they win a corner …
Updated
34 min: West Ham are rarely laying a glove on Newcastle now. Moyes obviously asked for a fast start, and got it. They didn’t want to let Newcastle settle … and they hit the woodwork in minute one.
But now, Newcastle are very settled indeed. It’s looking much more 4-0 than 2-2.
Updated
33 min: An email entitled “Chelsea” arrives from Declan.
It consists of one word: “Insane.”
30 min: West Ham want a penalty after Antonio goes down under a challenge from Dan Burn. Was it Botman, or Burn? I think Burn, the men on the telly say Botman. That looked like a possible penalty to me. But it’s not given. Then Newcastle attack, and Wilson is nearly in after an error by Aguerd!
29 min: Rashford scores for Manchester United at Old Trafford!
So that’s Manchester United 1-0 Brentford.
“In the aftermath of a corner, the ball is headed into Rashford’s general area, and he slots home with ease,” writes our Manchester United v Brentford correspondent, Joe Pearson.
Updated
27 min: West Ham win a free-kick on the edge of the box. Paqueta takes it, bending an excellent, low shot around the wall, left-footed. It’s curling into the net but Pope gets down to make an equally good save.
Updated
26 min: #TalkingPoints
@LukeMcLaughlin as this one is done & dusted can we spend the rest of the evening discussing who will make the top 4? I think there's an argument that positions 3 and 4 could go to anyone currently sitting between 3rd and 9th. Has it ever been so open at both ends of the table?
— Richard Morris (@richardmorrisuk) April 5, 2023
25 min: Murphy bursts out from full-back and fancies he spots Fabianski off his line, cracking an attempted David Beckham-esque long-ranger from around halfway. But it’s a naff effort that the Pole in goal is able to catch.
22 min: Antonio chases what looks a lost cause over the top near the left corner. He keeps the ball in, and someone else, I’m not sure who if I’m honest, belts a cross to the far post for West Ham. But nothing doing. Can we envisage West Ham troubling the scorers against the miserly Newcastle defence? Let’s hope so, from the neutral’s perspective …
20 min: Joe Pearson tells me it’s 0-0 at Old Trafford. I’ve even checked the facts for myself – not that I don’t trust you, Joe. It’s 0-0.
Updated
18 min: West Ham and specifically Bowen started like a runaway train, but Newcastle have dominated the last, well, 12 minutes or so. They are rampant. Trippier bends in a corner. West Ham manage to clear at the near post.
Updated
Goal! 12 min: West Ham 0-2 Newcastle (Joelinton)
It’s onside! That is a bizarrely Sunday League effort. Schar belts a hopeful pass through the middle from defence. It’s not even over the top, just through a massive gap between the supposed defensive lines. The West Ham centre-backs were nowhere. The midfield was invisible, too. Joelinton, who swivelled and bent his run perfectly, as it turned out, rounds the keeper and passes the ball into an empty net. Emerson was playing him onside. Drama!
Updated
12 min: Disallowed goal for Newcastle! Joelinton ghosts through on to a ball from defence. It looks tight on replay … the VAR is having a look. Joelinton turns around with a big smile on his face after the flag goes up. But now he’s wondering if it is actually a goal … and I think it might be a goal!
Updated
10 min: Antonio gets an accidental elbow in the face from Botman of Newcastle.
After the goal, Moyes was pictured, ashen-faced, complaining to the officials about something. Not sure what – we’ll probably find out later. Unless West Ham win 5-1.
Updated
“Good evening!” emails Bill.
“4-3-3 to my mind is the best formation: It’s almost perfectly balanced, not requiring the thrilling heroics in a 3-5-2 as the wing backs get a stomp on. Maybe 3-4-3 could be the new 3-5-2? Who knows, not I, but I did see Guns’n’Roses at this stadium and that was proper good value for money.
“Have a lovely game.”
You too Bill.
Goal! 6 min: West Ham 0-1 Newcastle (Wilson)
Newcastle win a corner after moving into the final third for the first time. It comes to Saint-Maximin on the far side. He pulls off a lovely, impudent bit of skill to beat his marker and swerves an excellent cross into the danger zone. Wilson is there and given the quality of the ball, he only need to hit the target with an angled header. GOAL!
Updated
3 min: West Ham are pressing. They win a corner, but take it short and completely waste it. Why, I ask you, do teams do that? Then Bowen gets the ball, in the next passage of play, and hits a low shot that vaguely flirts with the Newcastle goal, but flies out for a goal kick.
1 min: Wowzers. Jarrod Bowen gets the ball in the Hammers half, turns, and puts his foot down, sprinting down the right wing. Dan Burn tries but can’t catch up. Bowen powers into the box, angling his run infield slightly, and clips a low cross into a crowded penalty area. Joelinton slides to try and clear at the near post … and hits the base of his own post with his attempted interception! Nearly a goal within 45seconds or so. But Newcastle survive.
Updated
First half kick-off!
Allez!
“Thanks to however much extra I pay for Peacock, I have the option to watch Man Utd vs Brentford, which I will exercise,” emails Joe Pearson. “I’ll keep you posted.”
Please do Joe.
West Ham are playing 4-3-3. Toon are also playing 4-3-3. Goals galore?
Updated
The teams are walking out! Football is about to happen.
Updated
Early last season, when the takeover happened, I predicted that Newcastle would challenge for Champions League qualification this season. But you all scoffed. Needless to say, I had the last laugh.
Updated
“G’Day Luke!” emails Chris. “It’s a 5am kick off down here in Australia. Big call by Howe to drop Isak and play Wilson (who has an excellent record against West Ham) but it could be a wise one: rotation is critical for the run-in.
“Speaking of big decisions on strikers: remember when Andy Carroll was instructed to live at Kevin Nolan’s house, during their time at Newcastle? Oh, to be a fly on that particular wall!”
Enjoy it Chris. Get the coffee on.
The Uefa president, Aleksander Ceferin, has praised the Premier League for its financial success and said it is being demonised by critics who claim it is damaging competition with Europe’s other leagues.
Ready, steady … Eddie!
“[Tonight] is a challenge for us. Mentally, physically, we have to be back at those levels [of the Man Utd win on the weekend] … it’s a totally different challenge.
“We just need to make sure we perform as we have done in recent weeks …”
Why has he made changes?
“Three games in six days. Joe [Willock] had a hamstring problem, so we’ve brought Joelinton back into the team … Wilson for Isak is a straight replacement.”
Updated
Aleksander Ceferin there, making some speech or other:
Insightful stuff there from Moyes anyway, on why it’s important to win games, and try to move up the table. I am learning all the time.
David Moyes speaks to Sky Sports and gets noticeably tetchy when the interviewer points out that things would have been extremely dire had they lost on Sunday.
“I’m pleased we did get the win … So I don’t need to answer that question, do I?” Moyes fires back. “Look, we want to get as high up the league as we can. But you have to win the games. Another win [on Sunday]. At this stage of the season, trying to win the games is really important. Picking up the points is really important. Home game tonight for us, sort of a game in hand we’ve had from earlier in the season …
“We’ll keep it going [the good home form]. Tonight’s the focus … We felt Antonio might be the right one tonight [instead of Danny Ings] … we’ve given Micky the gig.”
Updated
Over on the other channel, Rob Smyth has Barcelona v Real Madrid, El Clásico in the Copa del Rey semi-final, second leg. And it’s live …
Updated
“Champions League looks like Newcastle Utd, Man Utd and Brighton for 3rd and 4th,” emails John.
“You’d expect Man Utd to get it (because that’s just what they do) then between Newcastle and Brighton for 4th. Hard run coming up for Newcastle; some very winnable ones for Brighton this month and they’re in stunning form. I don’t dare dream of us (Newcastle) and Brighton getting Champs League, and Brighton are starting to seem remorseless - youd expect them to batter Spurs this weekend. Another three points tonight before the hard run really kicks in would be very welcome.
“Oh, and re. Lampard to Chelsea - they have 39 points already, should be safe from relegation ...”
Fire Tuchel, hire Potter, fire Potter, hire the guy who proved to be not very good before Tuchel. Yes – that makes perfect sense:
Teams
Michail Antonio returns to Moyes’s starting side, replacing Danny Ings in the only change from Sunday’s win over Southampton.
Callum Wilson starts in place of Alexander Isak for Newcastle, while Joelinton also returning to the starting XI.
West Ham: Fabianski; Kehrer, Aguerd, Zouma; Emerson, Rice, Soucek; Paqueta, Antonio, Benrahma. Substitutes: Areola, Cresswell, Coufal, Fornals, Lanzini, Downes, Cornet, Ings, Ogbonna.
Newcastle: Pope; Trippier, Schar, Botman, Burn; Guimares, Longstaff, Joelinton, Murphy; Saint-Maximin, Wilson. Substitutes: Dubravaka, Lascelles, Gordon, Ritchie, Targett, Isak, Manquillo, Willock, Anderson.
Your team to take on the Toon 👊 pic.twitter.com/J0wf6wyF03
— West Ham United (@WestHam) April 5, 2023
⚫️ HOWAY NEWCASTLE! ⚪️#WHUNEW pic.twitter.com/o9HARiXn52
— Newcastle United FC (@NUFC) April 5, 2023
Updated
The list of Premier League managerial casualties continues to grow with almost farcical regularity, but David Moyes remains unbowed at West Ham. Narrowly beating Southampton last weekend didn’t hurt; nor, of course, did the sterling job that Moyes did last season, when Champions League qualification remained a possibility deep into the second half of the campaign.
But that was then and this is now, and now isn’t looking so hot for West Ham, sitting as they do in 15th place but with a 27-point tally that is the equal of 18th-placed Bournemouth. (And 16th-placed Everton. And 17th-placed Nottingham Forest.)
Newcastle mosey down to London also level on points with a couple of rivals, although in the case of Eddie Howe’s men, it’s fourth-placed Tottenham and fifth-placed Manchester United, all three clubs on 50 points, 14 points shy of second-placed Manchester City. Toon’s miserly tally of 19 goals conceded, along with 41 scored, has them third on goal difference following the weekend win against United of the Manchester variety.
It’s going to be one hell of a dust-up for the Champions League qualifications spots so the Magpies would dearly love a win this evening. Much like the hosts, apart from the Champions League bit. Jacob Steinberg dubbed the Hammers’ win against Saints “a dreadful game, high on tension and low on quality”, so fingers crossed we get something a little more palatable tonight.
Kick-off: 8pm
Updated
