"There's a version of the story where we're villains. It doesn't work. What are we going to do? We have to sell it. Then we're the bad guys. F*** that."
The highly-anticipated docuseries Welcome to Wrexham has finally landed, with viewers able to catch the first two episodes right now on Disney+, and it's fair to say things get off to an eventful start.
Perhaps it is to be expected given the absurdity of a Hollywood duo taking over a non-league football club.
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When Rob McElhenney and Ryan Reynolds completed a takeover of Wrexham AFC, it made headlines around the world, with the pair setting out a vision to lift one of Welsh football's most famous clubs back onto its feet after 14 years in the wilderness of the National League.
It can be easy to feel a little cynical about the pair's motivations for this project. Some will feel that to effectively turn a proud fan-owned football club into a Hollywood TV show in many ways makes a mockery of what football should be about. But in a modern age where clubs can be owned by oppressive oil states, such objections admittedly ring less true.
Even so, from the very beginning, it is clear this documentary was at the heart of the pair's thinking when deciding to take the reins at The Racecourse. From their nervous wait to see if their takeover has been approved, to McElhenney explaining to his son Axel what a corner kick is, every moment of the journey has been captured and given a healthy dollop of Hollywood glitz along the way.
But when McElhenney walks out at The Racecourse and declares he has "goosebumps", the pledges to do right by the community of Wrexham made many times throughout the show immediately seem to carry genuine sincerity.
"I just think about how many people have come to watch these games over the last 150 years," he adds.
As the show points out on more than one occasion, The Racecourse Ground - or Cae Ras - is the oldest international football ground still in existence, and clearly its stardust continues to capture the imagination of outsiders.
The show has obviously been made for an American audience, as evidenced by the way they talk about relegation, a concept which clearly still manages to baffle many of our transatlantic cousins. There's also a bit explaining that Wales isn't actually a part of England, and some of the slang is also translated (do Americans seriously not know what 'sacked' means?)
Many of the regional accents on show have also been deemed incoherent enough to warrant subtitles, which for a UK audience unfortunately feels a little patronising at times.
One man who clearly doesn't have any trouble being understood is Humphrey Ker, Rob and Ryan's man on the ground. A self-confessed dork, he reminds me a little of a cross between Louis Theroux and Gog from Peep Show. Rob immediately and rather hilariously blows a hole in Humphrey's credentials by claiming he, too, "doesn't know f*** all about running a football club". Perhaps not, but he is a very likeable character and his value to the new owners is obvious.
It all feels lovely and upbeat, so naturally something has to go terribly wrong for the whole thing to really work. Luckily, the football duly delivers, with Wrexham conspiring to serve up a hot spoonful of delicious disappointment on the pitch.
It is a state of affairs which sees manager Dean Keates receive a bit of a kicking from some of the restless locals. For the most part, it's pretty fair, but some voices go dangerously close to being over the top in their vitriol, which does unfortunately dent the viewer's sympathy a little.
In one particularly stinging assessment, Wayne Jones, the owner of iconic pub The Turf, is seen discussing midfielder Paul Rutherford, whom one of his punters defends by saying he "puts a shift in". "So do postmen, but you wouldn't put one on the wing, would you?" is the brutal response.
It feels all the harsher by the end of the second episode, much of which is spent gaining an insight into Rutherford's pride in playing for his local town, his lovely family, and the financial realities of being a footballer in the fifth tier.
It all builds up to a do-or-die clash with Dagenham on the final day of the 2020/21 season. Win, and Wrexham are in the play-offs, Keates keeps his job for another few games, and everyone's happy.
As you can probably guess, none of this comes to pass. Rutherford is sent off for a lunge just after the break, the Reds limp their way to a draw, and the play-offs slip through their fingers.
It is impossible not to feel sorry for Rutherford, who perhaps knows how costly his dismissal will prove to be, and looks furious with himself on returning to the dressing room. When Wrexham's fate is sealed, the tears start to flow, and he is seen being comforted by a team-mate before Keates gives a stony-faced post-match speech.
McElhenney, watching the game back home with his son, is visibly distressed too. "We just got knocked out of the play-offs by one point," he muses. "I do not like losing. We aim to avoid that."
"I hate this, but we're going to have to rebuild," Reynolds adds. "Our goal is to get the f*** out of this league. If you don't get promoted, that's our fault."
It is then revealed that Keates is dismissed from his post, and Rutherford, the villain of the piece, is released the next day.
The latter is now plying his trade at Cymru Premier side Bala Town, while his former boss is yet to return to management.
It is a timely reminder of the harsh realities of the game, ones which cannot be expunged by any amount of Hollywood pizzazz.
The next two episodes of Welcome To Wrexham will be available to stream on Disney+ next week.
