Name: Erotic gardens.
Age: Alfresco sex – or should that be al-frisk-o sex!? – has almost certainly been going on since before indoor sex, if you think about it.
I am thinking about it now! Not just you; 40% of Britons are getting jiggy out of doors apparently. And, now that summer is here, the birds and the bees are doing their thing out there, the sap is rising, the flowers are bursting out …
Stop it! I’m in the office. There is nothing taboo about sex, says Sophie Knittel. “We hope that this beautiful garden will help people to talk about sex in a very positive way.”
Sophie Knittel? From France …
Of course. Along with three other female designers, Knittel will be unveiling what they say is the “ultimate erotic garden” at the RHS Hampton Court Palace festival this week. It’s called Aphrodite’s Garden.
After the Greek goddess of love? Correct.
I’m just wondering if the RHS set is ready for that? You’d be surprised. Think Monty Don plunging his hands into a bag of moist compost …
OK, OK. And the Garden of Eden – apples and serpents, not a lot of kit on, seduction …
What exactly is the idea behind Aphrodite’s Garden? Temptation, really. “We wanted to move away from the idea of gardens being twee, we want to make gardens sensual and sexy,” said Knittel. “Our message is that gardens are not just for picking flowers. They can really get you in the mood as well.”
Horny-culture? There you go.
So what kind of things are in this sex garden? Plants that are said to have aphrodisiac properties or are linked to love, sex and erotica.
Peaches and aubergines? It’s not an emoji garden, it’s a bit more subtle than that. So, there’s myrtle because myrtle trees were planted around Aphrodite’s temple; and jasmine, because in India jasmine is put in the bedrooms of newlyweds to get them in the mood; and opium poppies, because, says Knittel, “apparently when you do opium, sex is absolutely amazing”.
Isn’t opium a class A drug? It’s more about the feeling and mood than actually encouraging drug use. Anyway, moving swiftly on, figs and pomegranate …
Because? Because figs and pomegranates are sexy, right? And, instead of gravel, she has used crushed whelk and oyster shells.
Sounds sharp, and potentially painful. Again, you’re being too literal. It’s about association rather than actually getting down on the path. Though there is a secluded hilltop haven, if the urge gets too strong …
Do say: “Come up to the secluded hilltop haven, the views are amazing …”
Don’t say: “Ouch! Stinging nettles!”
