EFF THE TOR… HOLD ON, WE’RE NOT DOING THE WREXHAM STORY? REALLY? FINE. EMERY IT IS
Unai Emery’s stint at Arsenal wasn’t studded with glorious success. So much so that, were you to ask fans in England for the first thing that springs to mind upon mention of the four-time Euro Vase-winning Spaniard, a fair few would head straight for the way he delivers a particular latter-day greeting. It’s a bit off, really. Partly because poking fun at an amiable gent for the way they mispronounce one syllable from thousands of words in live television interviews conducted in a foreign language is staggeringly poor form. But mainly because his presiding over that 4-1 Euro Vase final defeat to Chelsea says a lot less about Emery, and a damn sight more about the epic show Arsenal regularly make of themselves on the continent.
The Fiver therefore wishes Emery the best of luck in his new job at Aston Villa. Rather like November’s PM of the Month, Rishi Sunak, Emery has come into post at exactly the right time, in so much as base competence gave both of their stratospherically unpopular predecessors the swerve, so there’s not exactly a high bar left to clear. But unlike Sunak, Emery has a little bit of wriggle room, taking charge of an organisation that still has a few quid left with which to speculate. He might use what’s left to pop back to the Yellow Submarines for defender Pau Torres and winger Arnaut Danjuma, targeted investment that would surely signal happier days for Villa while giving his old pals, beloved minnows Villarreal, a much-needed cash boost. The wheels start turning again, everyone benefits, and John Maynard Keynes would be so, so proud.
The Football Supporters' Association has announced its shortlist for the 2022 awards – the largest supporter-led awards in England – and the Guardian is shortlisted in a number of categories.
• Newspaper of the Year (The Guardian)
• Podcast of the Year (Football Weekly)
• Writer of the Year (Barney Ronay and Suzanne Wrack)
• Online Media of the Year (David Squires)
If you like the Guardian's football coverage, you can vote here on the FSA's official website, until 31 October.
Meanwhile in Number 10, Rishi gets on with making his own difficult decisions. Hot tears trickle down on to the Downing Street ledger as he curses Truss for firing the entire country into the heart of the sun, thus forcing him to rub two brass bawbees together for the first time in his life. Say what you like about Christian Purslow, but his heart was in the right place and at least he didn’t empty the Jack Grealish coffers in pursuit of some crank ideology. And no, sending for Steven Gerrard and then hoping Philippe Coutinho rediscovers his 2014-16 form doesn’t count.
RECOMMENDED LOOKING
David Squires with a painful and poignant reminder why no self-respecting football fan would ever chant about Hillsborough.
LIVE ON BIG WEBSITE
Join Scott Murray for live Big Cup updates from Salzburg 1-2 Chelsea (5.45pm BST) before Luke McLaughlin’s Big Cup clockwatch covers the 8pm games including Dortmund 2-2 Manchester City, Celtic 0-0 Shakhtar and more besides.
QUOTE OF THE DAY 1
“I messaged Roger [Federer] when I landed in Basel and said: ‘I just touched down in the city of one of the world’s greatest ever athletes: Granit Xhaka’” – tennis legend and Arsenal fan Andy Murray hits Big Fed with some prime banter.
QUOTE OF THE DAY 2
“F*** the Tories!” – Wrexham striker Paul Mullin’s left boot, briefly.
RECOMMENDED LISTENING
Women’s Football Weekly is here! Join Faye Carruthers, Suzanne Wrack and guests to talk about the World Cup 2023 draw plus Manchester United and Arsenal’s perfect starts to the WSL season.
FIVER LETTERS
“I appreciate Neil Baynham’s calculation of Ms. Truss’s 1,056-ish hours in office. (yesterday’s letters). But, in all candour, I think the last term we could apply to her is pedant” – Mike Wilner.
“One thing that annoys me almost as much as VAR is the expression ‘clear and obvious error’. It would be difficult to think of a clearer and more obvious example of tautology” – Peter Rogers.
“So, the Aston Villa hierarchy turn out to be big fans of Unai. An Emery Board? You can file that one” – Antony Train.
“Michael Carrick is the latest manager to be in surprisingly high spirits about heading to Middlesbrough, with many of his predecessors leaving somewhat downbeat a short while later. Maybe they were all keen to see the Tees Newport Bridge, an impressive feat of engineering. Boro should start including a chance to operate the bridge as a performance-related incentive; the right manager could celebrate promotion by raising the bridge” – Ed Taylor.
Send your letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. And you can always tweet The Fiver via @guardian_sport. Today’s winner of our letter o’ the day is … Ed Taylor, who wins a copy of Inside Qatar by John McManus. We have more to give away this week, so get scribbling.
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