There’s no reason to dread getting the call from a groom or bride asking you to join the bridal party.
Unless, that is, you either can’t afford or don’t want to afford the dollar outlay linked to weddings.
Bridal partiers spent an average of $825 on the big event, with travel, attire, pre-wedding events, and the wedding the big cash culprits, according to data from Lending Tree.
Maybe that’s why 56% of bridal party people say they “felt pressure” in spending more than they wanted on the wedding.
“People feel pressured to spend, in part, because they don’t want to be a killjoy or they just don’t feel like it is their place to say anything,” says Matt Schulz, LendingTree’s chief credit analyst. “That can make a potential bridesmaid or groomsman reluctant to speak up, even if the price of staying quiet is a fair amount of debt.”
Getting Comfortable with Bridal Party Spending
Any anxiety over bridal party spending can be alleviated with a double dose of transparency and honesty. Take these tips to the chapel (or maybe not all) when bridal party costs are getting out of hand.
Establish boundaries: Claire Hunsaker, a San Francisco-based financial planner, said that setting financial boundaries in a bridal party scenario is the way to go.
“By setting a maximum spending limit in advance, you make the financial decision less personal,” Hunsaker said. “Save however much you can and put it into a sinking fund (i.e., a fund where you can put available cash amounts into the fund over a few months).”
That way, Hunsaker said, you let the bride know it's a financial priority earmarked for her wedding, and also that it's a fixed amount. “It also helps set a boundary that protects your finances, while also reinforcing the relationship,” she adds. “This also reminds the bride that her bridal party will have a range of budgets and to be mindful of them in advance.”
Be Honest With the Bride or Groom
Be honest. It’s OK to be transparent if you have doubts about any bridal party spending.
“It's not always comfortable to talk about money, but if spiraling costs are causing your anxiety, it's worth talking to the couple and explaining your limitations,” notes Zoe Burke, the editor of Hitched, a wedding industry publication.
The wedding couple should have their eyes wide open, as well.
“If you're the one making the plans, when it comes to the pre-wedding celebrations, making the additional events optional will help ease the pressure on your bridal party’s pockets,” Burke adds. “For instance, let them know you don't want gifts. Also, talking to your wedding venue or nearby accommodation to negotiate a block booking discount are good ways to reduce costs.”
Just say “no.” In the Lending Tree survey, 62% of Americans think bridal party costs are getting out of hand. Almost 20% of people have turned down an invitation to be in a wedding due to expenses, and the vast majority (69%) say there was” no harm to their relationship with the bride or groom as a result.”
In that context, nixing a bridal party invite is OK.
“Fundamentally, you're an adult and you are allowed to say no,” says Lauren Anastasio, director of Financial Advice (and CFP) at Stash, an investing, banking, and education platform. “It's hard to feel like you're going to disappoint someone you care about, but you need to be realistic about your financial limitations.”
“The last thing you want is to feel resentful towards the bride or groom if you experience a financial hardship by committing to being in the bridal party when you can't afford it,” Anastasio adds.
