Earlier this month, Rishi Sunak went to the economically depressed, wealthy second-home owners’ paradise of Cornwall, which is now £230m down as the Conservative government’s promises to replace funding lost from the EU because of Brexit remain predictably unmet. Take back control! Enjoy your fish!! What did the EU ever do for us? The Eden Project. The Hall for Cornwall. The South West Coast Path. Newlyn fish market. Penzance’s Jubilee Pool. The Camborne to Pool link road. Superfast broadband. The Penzance heliport. Oh.
While in Cornwall, Sunak went for a photo op at a dentist that, it transpired, wasn’t accepting new adult NHS patients, a real problem for the Cornish populace, who having gnashed their teeth down to the gums in a nonspecific fury with the EU, now have no teeth left to gnash at the London newspaper columnists buying up their family cottages for half-term holidays twice a year with insolent middle-class teenage sons who steal locals’ lobsters out of pots in the harbour and eat them round campfires on the beach while smoking weed and having sex with their friends’ sisters.
