We’re constantly being told to feel good – but feeling bad brings its own kind of power

‘The whole thing – the focus on confidence, on joy, on happiness – feels equal parts flattening and insane.’ Photograph: Getty Images

Do you know what I’ve come to believe? I’ve come to believe that it’s good to feel bad. Not all the time, of course, not continuously. I mean, it’s not good to lie still, in chronic pain, with horrific memories or insults or bitter thoughts smashing relentlessly against the roof of your mouth. But sometimes, regularly, it is good to feel bad. To feel despair. A little dread. To feel sadness. To give up the idea (one that the wellness industry has long insisted upon) that we should be striving, always, for permanent and unblemished contentment.

Wellness, in fact, goes further: not only should we be free of stress, have optimised our orgasms and our work days, not only should our skin be radiant and our bowel movements exquisite, not only should we give ‘zero fucks’, striding across the street confident as an idiot, not only should creativity flow through us like tea, not only should we indefinitely hold off death by means of meditation, cold-water swimming and positive mental attitude, but we should also be HAPPY.