I am currently having my 10th unwanted period in a row. There are all sorts of reasons a period might be unwanted: you are on a long train journey; you had a period two weeks ago; you are camping; it’s your wedding day, you are wearing white and Don’t Stop Me Now has just come on across the dancefloor. In this case, however, I had hoped to be pregnant.
When it comes to unwanted periods – particularly the ones that let you know that once again your womb has made like an outbuilding and shed – I would like to see some better rituals. Better cards. Better parties. A friend could arrive at your house with a box of eggs and take you to the nearest wood or car park, where you could spend a cathartic 10 minutes throwing the eggs at a wall, or a tree trunk, or the ground, while screaming.
