For five days, Gili Roman waited for a phone call to bring news of his sister’s release among the first group of hostages freed from Gaza in November, after weeks of relentless violence in the war between Israel and Hamas.
When the call came at two in the morning, he cycled from Tel Aviv to his father’s home in a neighbouring town. There they waited, and when morning came he told his three-year-old niece of her mother’s return, watching as she ran through the apartment smiling and laughing.
“She’s very young but she saw everything so we could not lie to her, she knew her mother is missing,” said Roman, 39, speaking to the Guardian at the Israeli embassy in London. “I waited for all these days to be able to look at her and know that we have positive news for her. Seeing them hug and reunite, that was so moving.”
Now that his sister Yarden has returned home after 54 days in captivity, Roman is pleading for the return of the 134 remaining hostages in Gaza, including Yarden’s sister-in-law, Carmel Gat. On Thursday he sat alongside other relatives of those taken captive by Hamas. On the embassy lawn, white flowers were affixed with photographs of those taken captive when Hamas attacked Israel on 7 October.
Yarden and her husband and daughter were taken by fighters from a family home in Kibbutz Be’eri into a car, and managed to escape just before the border, said Roman. As they ran away it became too difficult for Yarden to carry her daughter, who she passed to her husband in a decision she later described to the US news programme 60 Minutes as a “no-brainer”.
It was about 10 in the morning on 7 October when Roman stopped receiving messages from his sister after news of the attack. The next day, his brother-in-law called saying he had been able to escape with their daughter but had no idea of Yarden’s whereabouts. For nearly a week, Roman searched the outskirts of the kibbutz for his sister alongside Israeli Defense Force troops.
“That is really the worst days of my life,” Roman recalled. “I felt that I’m the only one responsible to save my sister’s life because maybe she’s just waiting in the ditch, wounded and waiting for me to come and find her.”
In November, Qatar, Egypt and the US helped to broker a diplomatic breakthrough that led to a temporary ceasefire and the release of dozens of hostages held by militants, and of Palestinians imprisoned by Israel.
In January, Roman was invited alongside others to meet Qatar’s prime minister, Sheikh Mohammed bin Abdulrahman Al Thani, and said there was a “cautious optimism” that talks were more concrete and that officials were nearing a prospective deal for another ceasefire.
“It was a very reassuring meeting at that point,” Roman said. “When we met them we already felt there was something on the table.”
Now, with negotiations aimed at brokering another ceasefire under way, Hamas has demanded Israel end its offensive in the territory, withdraw its forces, ensure entry for aid and facilitate the return of internally displaced people back to their homes.
Israel has demanded that Hamas present a list of 40 elderly, sick and female hostages who would be the first to be released as part of a truce that would initially last six weeks, and on Friday it said it would push forward with its offensive in Rafah, where more than 1 million people are sheltering.
Roman said: “There’s a possibility to see Carmel back, and to see hostages back, and for me also I want to see a better humanitarian situation as a whole for everyone.”
When asked about the death toll in the Gaza Strip, which has surpassed 30,000 after five months of intense Israeli aerial bombardment, and mounting international criticism against Israel, he said: “First of all, it’s very important to say that it is devastating, it is heartbreaking. And it’s hard for me, I don’t shy away from it, I see the photos, I follow the reports. I just cannot completely agree to the way that you describe it.
“I think that is a result of Hamas actions. I don’t see it as an act of anger, I think it is an act of war against an enemy, and the enemy is not the Palestinians.”
Looking back at the photos and videos from the time when his sister was held captive, Roman said he could barely recognise himself. Now he feels “more of a normal person again”, able to look at his phone and see his sister’s name knowing that he can call and she will answer.
“But at the same time, I’m also still very worried about other family members,” he said.
The last update they received of Carmel, he said, was from two others who were held captive with her and have since been released, describing the circumstances as harsh and violent. “At this point, we need to see all of them back,” Roman said.
