She should be helping her beloved son Scott celebrate his fiftieth birthday.
But today Tricia Clive is marking the milestone by once again begging for help to solve the mystery of his disappearance.
Scott was 30 years old when he vanished without a trace after a night out in North Shields in 2002.
A murder investigation was launched, despite the fact no body had been found.
But the probe was called off five years later, after a new witness came forward saying they had seen someone matching Scott’s description near the banks of the Tyne.
Police told Scott’s loved ones they believed he had fallen into the river.
But with no body and no proof Tricia, has been haunted by the unanswered questions surrounding her son's death for almost two decades.
And today, on what would have been Scott's 50th birthday the heartbroken mum is again pleading for information as she reflects on the life Scott could have had.
Tricia said: "It's awful. Every year it seems to get harder. It's just the not knowing, I just go over and over it in my head. I'm still sure there's people out there that know what happened. If there is please come forward because this is hell. We just can't stand this any longer."
"It's just such a big milestone birthday. He could have been a father by now. I think he would have been a family man and he would have settled down He used to write me letters and he was always asking after his sisters. He was such a big character. "
Scott, whose full name was Robert Scott Clive, moved to North Shields from Stranraer, in Scotland, 10 months before he vanished, on October 10 2002.
The labourer was living in a bedsit on Prudhoe Terrace and his mum said he was loving life in the Tyneside town, which was a lot busier than his home time.
Scott remained close to his family is Scotland and would regularly speak to his mum on the phone, so when no one heard from him for several days he was reported missing.
At first police treated Scott as a missing person, but several weeks later a murder inquiry was launched.
Detectives made a number of public appeals for information, and released CCTV images of Scott captured hours before he vanished.
They said Scott had been drinking in North Shields before going to a party.
The last known sighting of Scott was at when he was in the Customs House, accommodation for single people in Borough Road, North Shields, where he had been with several other people, on the night of October 10.
Seven people were arrested in connection with Scott’s disappearance, but no one was ever charged.
In 2008 Northumbria Police detectives carried out a major review of the case.
Police divers were sent into the Tyne in April that year after a new witness came forward saying they had seen a man matching Scott’s description by the edge of the river during the early hours of October 11, 2002.
Despite not finding any trace of him in the water, detectives told Tricia they were satisfied Scott had fallen into the river.
But Tricia, 70, has never been able to accept this version of events.
"In my head he's gone. He's definitely dead. I feel in my heart that he was murdered. I don't think he's took his own life," she said,
"I'm getting worried that I will go to my grave without knowing, but I'll never give up..
"There's days that you don't think about it but there's days when I go through every single thing that happened. I just feel as if there's been something missed. It doesn't get better with time."
In 2019 a Northumbria Police spokeswoman told the Chronicle any new information that came in would followed up.
She said: “We appreciate how difficult this has been, and continues to be, for Scott’s family.
“The disappearance of Scott was subject to a full investigation at the time he first went missing, as well as a full review.
“The investigation was closed following new evidence that came to light in 2008, which indicated that he had fallen into the Tyne in the early hours of Friday, October 11, 2002.
“However, as with all cases, if any new information comes to light we will of course investigate thoroughly and look to give Scott’s family the closure they deserve.”
Anyone with any information about Scott’s disappearance should call Northumbria Police on 101.
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